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Open Poetry #38
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The Old Aluminum Boat
| Open Poetry #38 |
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The Old Aluminum Boat |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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The Old Aluminum Boat A two by four and carriage bolts to mend and transport dear fishing boat so long just cast away aluminum umbrella for the rain keeping the leaves under the window sweet sweet the song it made like the beat of some Friday night date a drum to precipitation in the night punctuating dreams oh delight of it awake and listening Going now for miles and miles to finally marry with the water it meant making lazy sounds against some shore fishing pole steady in longing hand dream the eyes an old man waits sometimes forever for that gate to mend and take like time only a two by four and carriage bolts the un-use of a dream comes true |
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| © Copyright 2006 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: Dear Martie, this is delightful. You really express the "intimacy" of this boat. I hear the drum sound and I like it. Love and hugs. Margherita  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Thanks, Margherita The boat was a fishing wish that never happened and has been turned over and unused under my bedroom window...now my father-in-love is taking it home to his fishing pole and the bay. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Sometimes life does work....but not in the way we'd planned. Blessed are they who can understand it when it happens, and love it anyway. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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nedj Member
since 2006-06-23
Posts 87Oregon USA |
I liked your story a lot more than I liked some of your expression of it. My inner ear had trouble with the musicality of the rhythm. What I absolutely loved, however, was your response to Margherita, especially the last line. It is prose, to be sure, but it reads more like poety--really good poetry--than the main piece. It reminds me of a conundrum of my own: I can write music that I love, and I have written some pretty good lyrics, but they don't fit together. The best lyrics go with 3rd rate music, and the best music simply has never had any words. Still makes me crazy when I think about it. I hope you have better luck with your (literary) marriage. At least as good as the boat had with the water. :-) A poem's just a poet in a word. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
like the beat of some Friday night date a drum to precipitation in the night punctuating dreams oh delight of it awake and listening Going now for miles and miles to finally marry with the water it meant making lazy sounds against some shore fishing pole steady in longing hand ~*~ I think the boat's name should be Merry... as is this poem... for the boat finally found its true home with your father-in-love... and I know just the poet to send this on to...   |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed...Blessed are they that get such a reply...thank you! Ned...thank you for what you said...I went to your website and found it most interesting..I'll be back with my questioning self. Sissie...I'm happy to have made a poem that will move on...sort of like a boat in a river, huh? |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Such a "feel good" to this write Martie Girl... Your words discover wonder, as they hit the page! TD |
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jody5 Senior Member
since 2005-12-21
Posts 876California, U.S.A. |
Nice write. It reminds me of all the times I have gone fishing and the people I met. Much enjoyed. Huggs Kimberly |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
"Going now for miles and miles to finally marry with the water it meant making lazy sounds against some shore fishing pole steady in longing hand dream the eyes an old man waits sometimes forever for that gate to mend and take like time only a two by four and carriage bolts the un-use of a dream comes true" LOVE THIS!! JL Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Partie Martie, you know of course that boats, fishing and old gates are some of my favorites..and even just sitting on the bank and making sure one's tongue is held just so....well, that would be just fine as well. Loved the poem. |
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nedj Member
since 2006-06-23
Posts 87Oregon USA |
Martie, I look forward to meeting your "questioning self." :-) A poem's just a poet in a word. |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
"aluminum umbrella for the rain keeping the leaves under the window" Beautiful dream poem Martie. Seems your boat has had two lives... as a dream for you and a dream come true for your father-in-love. |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
I enjoyed the happy tone of the poem. My favourite line is: making lazy sounds against some shore. And I also loved the term, "father-in-love". - Owl |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
As always Martie...wonderful writing! Indeed another keeper! Hugs~Nancy ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
This is such a delightful read you have penned here. Hope you are doing well. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
I miss the peace of fishing. |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
All my senses came alive at this wonderful vision...A totale joy to read...Thank you so much for sharing it...*big hugs* |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I am sure happy the boat is going to a good home. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
sometimes I am under looking up at the old boat I go out to the kelp in it seems to smile a crooked smile looking down at me can see it in your ink ms, enjoyed |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Hello Martie and Good good Morning I tried so hard to high light my favorite lines, but couldn't as the entire poem tells a story that I'm so familiar with...it seams together in the poetic way you carry images from your mind to us...and fuses in some great land of spiritual...Martie, your a wonder...thank you for writing and sharing... Love Lee J. |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Martie...Well you know fishing is always more important than those chores that hopefully will take care of them selves. Enjoyed very much...Paul ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Ah Martie, If only other things could be mended that easily. Delightful write. Peace dear friend. It's nice to see the ink flowing again. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Ahhh....for the love of boats. Nicely done, Martie. Bob |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
MartiesqueSis~ Well, just to lay under your poetic window would be 'catch of the day' enough for me ... but, that boat ... that boat now has new waves to lap against it's happy bottom~  *HUGLETS* ~*MargeSis*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
I loved it Martie - Paul |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
I am loving your writing more and more, but this one just held me spell bound. I know this boat - I know the sounds, the smells and the leaves caught in it. I know how water fills it after a rain -- I know this boat. aziza |
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SusieQ Junior Member
since 2006-08-01
Posts 40Michigan, USA |
Beautiful. |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Martie - the last time I saw a caught fish I burst into tears but that doesn't take anything away from the beauty of your words. Yes, sometimes the dream isn't meant for us and then the test of lovingly letting go. |
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