Open Poetry #37 |
This is only a test. |
exhale Senior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 646Alberta,Canada |
we're breathing in static all that comes out is confusion our hand are clasped and our mouths are taped let's bring in the big guns I'll be your safety net if you be mine no scissors allowed I'll make a map of my skin and hope you can follow the directions can you hear the ticking? the hours are counting down and you'll never stop and ask for help so here we are with the dashboard light as a lifeline jump off your cliff with your words clung close to your chest dug into your fingernails ingrained don't panic this is only a test
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© Copyright 2006 Chelsea - All Rights Reserved | |||
[email protected] Junior Member
since 2006-02-07
Posts 17Los Angeles, CA |
I don't remeber if I can curse in this forum. So I'll say that it was bleepin' fantastic. The imagery makes that mind wonder and the themes are so strong. I hope you get over you block and write more. Thanx. |
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wvatvrider Member
since 2006-02-04
Posts 78West Virginia,USA |
Exhale... some more. I anxiously await |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
msX..your block is broken you have penspeak winds behind you I enjoyed the dashboard light as a lifeline as one of my contimplations please continue |
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Bagger Vance Member
since 2006-02-01
Posts 108Aotearoa |
not bad.. aye.. not bad at all you can do it, i feel the rain pouring soon he liked the weave of your pen White Gold Wielder |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
If only I could get writers block like this. Fantastic writing Andrew |
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RedStoneEB Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772uk |
Wasn't bad good to say you've had writers block |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
I enjoyed this so much. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
funny, you say you're blocked but this is one of your best. get stronger with each write, nice to see, read |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
"we're breathing in static all that comes out is confusion" Those first two lines had me instantly hooked! The rest just flowed so perfectly. I love it ~Sheri |
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om Junior Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 31ontario/canada |
I like this one, has beginning, body, and humorous ending, made me want read it again from its give.. |
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Dominique-Simone Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643 |
Sorry about the block but you didi great!!! |
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FNG Member
since 2006-02-07
Posts 477 |
Enjoyed reading it. Brings me back to my school time... Remembered the scene i had my big test in the hall. |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
"let's bring in the big guns I'll be your safety net if you be mine no scissors allowed" oh excellent. Brilliant writing. And if writers block was the price to pay for this, I would say it was well worth it! eagerly awaiting. xx farewell the ash-tray girl |
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