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Open Poetry #37
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Acceptance of an Affair
| Open Poetry #37 |
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Acceptance of an Affair |
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iamcaroline New Member
since 2006-01-30
Posts 4BC, Canada |
Acceptance of an Affair You left tonight and I was at peace for a while then I turned out the lights and it all came back In the quite of the night the sound of my thoughts were so loud my body could not rest, my eyes could not shut, my tears would not stop Just like every other night this week. I thought about how the evening was special Except for once you did not pick on anything I could still feel your caresses, the heat in your hands, the tenderness of your kiss on my temple Still, I could feel the underlying unrest in me I could sense your determination, anticipation to see her again I wondered how long your first date with her was, what you did and where you went Twisting and turning, sleep wouldn’t come The pain was increasing, my heart was heavy I thought of our good dates and the restless ones, every memory vivid Tonight you were so different from Sunday I wondered if tomorrow you would put it behind you I wondered if you were going to see her tomorrow The clock was ticking, I prayed for sleep. The night was so silent, disturbed only by the noise of my mind, the pounding of my heart, the restlessness of my breath, the sniffling. I snuggled into a pillow pretending it’s you Tonight it wasn’t as comforting as other nights. I wondered if you were thinking of her before you fell asleep. The hours went by My mind was filled with thoughts of the past four months Thoughts of last Sunday, thoughts of this evening The pain wouldn’t subside, daylight was creeping in I wondered what your day was going to be like Were you going to see her tonight? Every spare moment in the day I thought of you, there were a lot. You hadn’t been online all day, I was certain you were seeing her tonight Would you kiss her again, would you touch her the same way you had me? Since it was Saturday I wondered if you would spend all night with her All day long my heart was burdened I prayed you wouldn’t see her at all Not knowing hurts just as much as knowing In the evening all I could think of was if you were with her. As the hours passed I wondered if the date was over or not. All night I knew I would be wondering if you were home alone I must have slept for two hours The rest of the night was the same as last night daylight was creeping in. It’s Sunday, I can’t help wonder if you woke up with her If you did what new lovers normally do before breakfast If you had breakfast with her If you spent the rest of the day with her But if my prayers of the previous day were answered then you did not see her last night Then I pray that you do not see her tonight All day I have the same thoughts of yesterday All evening I have the same thoughts of last evening I wonder if you liked her so much yesterday, would you also want to see her tonight? My heart aches I take little comfort in knowing that tomorrow is a work day so perhaps your date will only last the evening I wonder when you will call me again I wonder what you will say when you do I do not want to know about your weekend or if and when you saw her Not knowing may hurt less than knowing It’s way past midnight. I hope my mind is exhausted and will be silent So that my eyes may shut, my heart may calm, my body may rest I wonder if you thought of me all weekend I wonder if you will think of me tomorrow I wonder what your day will be like tomorrow Just hearing your voice may soothe me. [This message has been edited by iamcaroline (01-31-2006 01:44 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Caroline Fernandes - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...so the way to accept an affair is to mentally and emotionally torture yourself...James |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
Powerful work Caroline. I don't know any other way to accept an affair.  |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
It is always known between lovers when one is being unfaithful....if one listens to their heart. Part of the torment is the wondering part. You definitely got this across. Best of luck to you in dealing with this if it is based on personal experience. Welcome to Passions! |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Welcome to Passions. Insatiable pain poured down this page, the diary of a sorrowful love. As I read, I wiped the grief from my own cheek...and smiled to realize the hope and health that comes after. Glad you are writing with us. ThisDiamond |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Caroline~ Welcome to Passion's In Poetry~ Your penning brought feelings of tremendous hurt and pain that one must go through in a situation like this~ I also felt a bit dismayed that anyone would want to put themselves through 'acceptance' of an affair~ In my opinion, for one to 'accept' an affair would be indicative of extremely low self-esteem, and a lack of self-respect~ No matter how much one might love a person ... one should never, ever 'accept' infidelity from one they love~ You most likely have penned a person's feelings very accurately in describing the self-tormenting questions that would plague someone in a situation like this~ I hope that anyone going through this will look to themselves for the 'why' of 'why' they would 'accept' anyone treating them in this manner~ This one is a 'thinker' ... that many should read~ Thank you for poetically sharing this~ Enjoy your stay at, and participation in, PiP~ We are a great group of talented folks and welcome you into our Family of Friends~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
disturbed only by the noise of my mind good line.. I wonder though if she doesn't think of you as the affair? M |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms C...moments in a glass... we sip them one by one and hope there is more to follow.. and to love is to savor each sip like it was the last enjoyed this slice of your beginning |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Welcome to Passions! Enjoyed your entrance piece. Looking forward so seeing more of your words. Please check your email for a special Passion's greeting. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ In the midst of winter, |
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