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Open Poetry #37
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considering the course
| Open Poetry #37 |
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considering the course |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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I really should go see her more often in the course of things. I should burn her calendars considering the course of things; I would be her everything and lists are bitches nagging doubt underscoring absentee and damn the god who deems these things: a flock of dove inanimate an ark of cobwebs in the sand bones are puzzles not in love in carpal brittle hold of hand and all the archeology of loneliness in couplings buried in this hourglass is constant churn of memory plurality of sand - the noun (note the singularity) one comprised of countless cling in fear of all finality-- I really should go see her more. I would - if she'd see more of me... "perhaps it's just the course of things and death is just unfeathering like molting in the spring," I think. I really should go see her more... |
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| © Copyright 2006 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Serenity Blaze, the excellence of this poem swirls me round the corners of your words and lifts me up the hills and down the dales, and has me searching under bushes and in the highest branches of the trees for all the minutia of the beautiful complexities of your superb poem. As with many of your poems, I don't understand every bit of it, although I have the gist of this one, I think. With many of your poems, I copy it into my Serenity Blaze folder to study, then don't have time, and then don't get to reply. So I decided to reply to this one spontaneously. It seems to me that you are talking about your very painful (non-)relationship (which could have and should have been wonderful) with a relation, probably of an older generation, possibly your mother. I think it could be literally a grave (or perhaps an interpretation could be a metaphorical grave of a live person) that you are referring to, but I don't think so. I think she is alive. Perhaps I am reading too much of my own story into yours. However, wrong or right I am, I love reading your poetry. (What a ridiculous understatement that is!) - Owl |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
No words... Just lots of  Love you, Karen... "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." --Jimi Hendrix |
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Fee Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 381Melbourne, Australia |
You should, she should, if you dont, who will? Such a confilct of emotion. Warmest hugs, Fee Expressions, |
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Katerie Member
since 2006-01-27
Posts 92Central New York |
Amazing. The way you separate your lines is generally taboo, but it works beautifully for you. Wonderfully engaging language. Overall great write. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"in carpal brittle hold of hand" god I love that line.. I wonder of the visiting after...I have never done it and wonder if it really would bring some sort of comfort or maybe I would feel her there... *shrug* I have no answers. But I loved this Karen.. and you.  fierce."too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
huggin you sweetie, just huggin you tight... Love this, Love you... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
"an ark of cobwebs in the sand" That about says it for me.  |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
There is such artistry in your word choice. I, too, am not always sure of your meaning, but do feel that this one is about a painful relationship that you wish were better..and that loss bothers you. Hugs, Ken Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karen....I understand this feeling....hugging you for expressing it. |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
"a flock of dove inanimate an ark of cobwebs in the sand" LOve this poem, Karen. May I respond in different meet'er? My wish that doves fly above foam and washing tide, That webs be used in arching lines to carry mast and booms to sea; An animate ride of harmony. ~cathy I'd like to save this add this one to your other poems in my library! |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I really should visit her more~~~too Sometimes it is just hard to do at this time of year for me Come Spring...I shall be there M |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Over the past couple of years, I have tried to respond spontaneously to what poets write. Today I read the responses before coming to you, myself, to lay before you yet one more amen and a reminder to follow your own inner, innate senses... do what you should, before you cannot. To one of the responders, I would like to say this... This is a poetry board where some people follow form and function, not all will write as others would have them write; we welcome every single line and even those that break the rules of study. While there is much to gain from learning from the conformity of writing, there is also much to be acquired from listening to the heart, how it is splayed, and how it is presented. No shame, no hidden agendas, just the truth of presence. And presents. Serenity, you have once again bled the innermost of you, the reasons why you can, and can't, do what you do, the reasons why you should, and most probably will, follow through on what you need most. We care.... And those who know, love you all the more for it. Ah, let's visit the archives, and see from what you speak, yet again. With love, K |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I just got in and ya'll know what that means? I actually went OUT!  But I did want to thank you all kindly for reading, and I'm smiling too, that I broke a taboo that I didn't know existed. (I just seem to have a knack for that.) But I appreciate you pointing it out, Kateria, and please do explain more, as I'm always eager for insight and knowledge as to how to improve my writing. I actually have no idea why I spaced this the way that I did. I tend to write things the way that I hear them in my head. So any further input, resources, etc. would be very much appreciated. And Kari? M'heart? You already understood that because you understand my heart, but I would like to hear more about this taboo, as I seem to break so many of 'em. I like to understand the reasoning of such if I'm gonna do it intentionally.  And oh thank you Owl, for understanding that this was layered complicity, as you were right on all accounts. It is indeed about two separate relationships. One with my mother, the other, my deceased sister. I really should go see them both more... Thanks all for understanding, and reading, and for ever being a comfort to me.  Much love to you all, who understand it all too well. Plant flowers. Give hugs. Call mom. Life is...short. |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
"an ark of cobwebs in the sand" My favorite too. Serenity, you sing to me... sigh... |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Karen, as I read, I identified with my own mother who is aging. I knew what you were saying and agree with Karilea; you must follow your heart. As for the taboo breaking....god/goddess knows what an extremely boring place this would be if we all followed the rules to the letter; and I did think there was something called, "poetic license" afterall.  You are, in my opinion for whatever that's worth, one of the most talented writers I have ever read -- 'course you know that's how I feel -- and the grace with which you gently accept critiqueing speaks to the beauty of your soul! *hugs*.....jo |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Gawd, I love the way you write You do what I pretend to do |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 I love reading/listening to your heartbeat. It's the purest sound of LIFE. |
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Dominique-Simone Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643 |
Wonderfully Written... |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
very well written yes. thanks for sharing My spirit will rise |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Gosh, I KNOW this bones are puzzles not in love Need to take a few visits myself even though they know exactly where I am. I know where they are too. Life is way too short. Your writing is perfect. The lines help me to hear you SPEAK. Nothing is taboo in poetry. That's what creativity and writing is all about. FEEL. (you taught me that ~ Don't write Suzie: FEEL) and you just did that for me. Next time I go though, I have to bring a camera, this reminded me of cemetaries, the ravens perched on old stones . . . *smiling and nodding with Kari and Ed* |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
enjoyed...great writing, much emotion floating around in this one.. I'd like to say also..I admire those who write the way it happens in their head. I, personally have trouble following "rules" of writing...I suppose I "break taboos" as well...! But when I'm done, it makes more sense to ME if I write the way it falls from my head...So, that said, more power to ya! hugs, g "We of the craft are all crazy...all are more or less touched." Lord Byron |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Sigh Sighhh Sighhhhhh, you are incredible, just incredible. m xx how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more |
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