Open Poetry #37 |
Soft Old Romantic |
Bodger Senior Member
since 2005-06-12
Posts 1260Tolerance for a short time |
Yes, I start to put the words together For a romance Dave ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Begin Your eyes dirty Mascara running from tears you welcomed Making you all the more beautiful And human Washing your cheeks and backbone To flooding anguish And things I could live with To welcome a love ripping you apart Bisecting you from all you valued And all your family believed in For something you didn't know existed Love Smiling grin, troubled eyes, knowledge, pain Smiling my love My love my smile My love Quickening of temper, temperature, feeling In haze, steam, vapour, mouth Dancing as a Coke filling, feeling stoker Feeding his engine In closets mindful Of all Heart miles seeking desiring awaiting Frightened Shoes on the inner soul Toes scratching cutting gouging breaking out as years roll back and the future calls and all those thoughts ram home again those feelings Dave [This message has been edited by Bodger (05-14-2006 06:53 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2006 Dave Page - Cirencester UK - All Rights Reserved | |||
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
as years roll back and the future calls and all those thoughts ram home again those feelings A very vivid description of a moment in time carved on the rocks. Love, Margherita |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Bodger Your symbols skim the water like a thrown stone, Enjoyed |
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Liz Sinclair Member
since 2006-05-06
Posts 93Atlantis |
It's the first 4 lines that set the stage (obviously) for the wager of love. It has a sweetness, a humanistic quality that's very nice and comforting. Thanks for sharing. Liz...Carpe Diem |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Yes, I too enjoyed this, Dave, and must ditto the comment made by Liz. A sensitive and insightful write. |
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HopeS Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596Perth Western Australia |
You did pour lots of emotional feelings into this , hey by the way I look dreadful with mascara ruuning down my eyes Hope |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
this was a fantastic read, incredible visuals this especially Your eyes dirty Mascara running from tears you welcomed Making you all the more beautiful And human Washing your cheeks and backbone To flooding anguish And things I could live with To welcome a love ripping you apart Bisecting you from all you valued And all your family believed in For something you didn't know existed actually coulda copied the whole poem... |
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Bodger Senior Member
since 2005-06-12
Posts 1260Tolerance for a short time |
Margherita -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- as years roll back and the future calls and all those thoughts ram home again those feelings A very vivid description of a moment in time carved on the rocks. We move from various stages of love and I suppose a few end up on the rocks, yet memories like a Bank Manager's charges, never seem to leave us. Seymour Tabin -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bodger Your symbols skim the water like a thrown stone, Enjoyed Thanks but I was never very good at it, although I remember walking up the Thames, doing that. Liz Sinclair -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's the first 4 lines that set the stage (obviously) for the wager of love. It has a sweetness, a humanistic quality that's very nice and comforting. Thanks for sharing. Liz...Carpe Diem Thanks Liz And if everyone listens - changing that status from Junior Member for everyone, would be a good idea. It was meant to be real, and in emotional terms almost 'gory'. I was trying to capture the 'real' and how even the best, and what we feel is the 'safest' is often the one with the greatest load, where no-one thought about 'what happens when you grow up' JamesMichael Enjoyed...James Thanks James I appreciate that Honeybunch Yes, I too enjoyed this, Dave, and must ditto the comment made by Liz. A sensitive and insightful write. And we all live it, in some shape or form HopeS You did pour lots of emotional feelings into this , hey by the way I look dreadful with mascara ruuning down my eyes Hope And probably enough times recently I'm not one for Trans-continent hugs as I would end up arrested, and the Internet, despite what sometimes gets written, is impossible for some of the antics that you read I wish things go well for you, Hope LeeJ this was a fantastic read, incredible visuals this especially Your eyes dirty Mascara running from tears you welcomed Making you all the more beautiful And human Washing your cheeks and backbone To flooding anguish And things I could live with To welcome a love ripping you apart Bisecting you from all you valued And all your family believed in For something you didn't know existed actually coulda copied the whole poem Lee You are too kind. Copying my words doesn't really bother me, as I usually bore people with the idea, it doesn't pay the mortage. It makes me think, plan, consider rx to tx, and interact with people, which sounds an incredibly cold statement for someone writing on a romance site, but I have know women who could excel that and others, who may you feel the world is a beautiful place. If I really cared about copyright, I wouldn't publish here, and my only objection to people cutting my words is that they should not use my labour for personal gain Thanks to everyone for your very kind comments Dave |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
not to belabor a point but Dave this IS perhaps when you are at your very best emoting in blue few can write this and make the reader smile: "Toes scratching cutting gouging breaking out" |
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