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Open Poetry #37

A Hostile Land (2003)

poettothecars
Senior Member

since 2006-02-10

Posts 1093
New Zealand

0 posted 2006-05-07 01:52 AM

3341
A Hostile Land
24 November 2003

In a land
were hostilities stir
A place of
the mind as it were

This state of
good and evil born
As if death was
a memory in spirit to mourn

There was unrest
like in a sleepless night
Set out in a mixture
of rotations left to right

Far be it to battle
through a dark shadow of force
To awake from this universe
made aware of an external course

a poet who cares

[This message has been edited by poettothecars (05-07-2006 05:34 AM).]

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

1 posted 2006-05-07 05:32 AM

MMM...not bad...perhaps a few things might be changed but i quite like it..thank you..

Goldenrose.

''As the deer pants for steams of water, so my soul pants for you O God''
Psalm 42:1

poettothecars
Senior Member

since 2006-02-10

Posts 1093
New Zealand

2 posted 2006-05-07 05:37 AM

Thank you for your views. I will admit it is not one of my best and I have found that the last 12 months of mixing with fellow poets across the world by way of the Internet has improved my writing and include more than one change to the way I compose my verse now

a poet who cares

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