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mariae
Member

since 2006-04-24

Posts 54
Denmark, Europe

0 posted 2006-04-27 05:43 AM

This poem is written after a visiting my friens grandfather. I write this because it was what he sad. Not like I write it but with the message he was trying to tell my friend.

You see an old man
gray haired and ill
Staring at nothing and feeling nothing

But I am not here

I am 10, riding my first bike
wind blowing in my goolden hair
Bruses on my knees
Happy

You see an old man, lonely
Without a wife
and with no one to love

But I am not here

I am 17, going on my first date
New haircut and shiny shoes
Kissing my first girl
Loving

You see an old man
with no laughter
or any joy at all

But I am not here

I am 28 and a father
Playing with my child
in the sunlit green meadows
Laughing

You see an old man
Feed up with life
no real reason to live

I am not here

I am 45, sitting on my porch
with my wife and son
watching the birds play in sky above us
Living

You see the stone on my grave
Feeling so sad
You should not cry

For I am not there

I am with my first bike
My son or my wife
If you just could see what I see
Living, loving and happy

Maria

-In a world of thoughts-

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2006-04-27 09:29 AM

wow

I like this

XOx Uriah xOX
Senior Member

since 2006-02-11

Posts 1403
Virginia

2 posted 2006-04-27 02:34 PM

beautiful! wonderful! I love this soooo much ! A treasured keeper.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

3 posted 2006-04-27 02:38 PM

I see that you really see! ~ and I am tucking this treasure away!

A marvellous write! Simply marvellous!

Love & Light,
Linda

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

4 posted 2006-04-27 02:48 PM

Oh... this is really beautiful and so true Maria. Well done!

StevenS
Senior Member

since 2005-09-21

Posts 945
L. A. (Lower Alabama)

5 posted 2006-04-27 04:05 PM

I really like this one Mariae! :-)

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

6 posted 2006-04-27 04:19 PM

Yes, Mariae - I think that's probably just how it is. Well done.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

7 posted 2006-04-27 07:39 PM

These are beautiful words of life that touched my heart softly...James

miabug
Member

since 2006-04-19

Posts 59
Canada

8 posted 2006-04-27 11:01 PM

Oh wow this is a beautiful write... I Love it. Thank you for sharing. It is beautifully written.

Mia

Rainclouds lie in your tears, sunshine in your heart. When you cry from happiness, you glow as a rainbow. - Marie-Ève C.

aliway
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 185
With in your eyes

9 posted 2006-04-27 11:21 PM

wow that was a beautiful poem

*leah

There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it
behooves all of us not to talk about the rest of us.
*Robert S

Ixtab
Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 105
MEXICAlpan de las tunas

10 posted 2006-04-28 12:10 PM

You seem to enjoy dealing with time issues, nice write.

mariae
Member

since 2006-04-24

Posts 54
Denmark, Europe

11 posted 2006-04-28 03:11 AM

I thank every one of you for the really nice feedback. Hugs to you all :-)
Maria

-In a world of thoughts-

Debo
Member

since 2006-04-18

Posts 321
Texas U.S.A.

12 posted 2006-04-28 08:14 AM

What you saw in that old gray haired man
Is truely beautiful. what a beautiful write

Debo

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