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Open Poetry #37
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I Wonder: Could She Sing?
| Open Poetry #37 |
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I Wonder: Could She Sing? |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
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I Wonder: Could She Sing? ©2006 C.G. Ward she wears black, as if the tyrannies of the sun are but dross upon her shoulders. above that darkness, the lady's smile stretches false. but, I try to understand, even as I judge - self-involvement is a hearty burden and who has time for frivolities these days? so she weaves rings of silence into the curls of smoke burbling like an ethereal river through a menagerie of air currents and sullen observations, this single vice fogging her visage like the chilled windows of a Chevy holding acrobatic teenagers in the cab. (oh, those fading mem'ries) I wonder: could she sing, if a tune were gifted her? would a melody, perhaps, uplift her heart in some quasi-spiritual, tree-hugging, karma-catching wave of redolent salvation? or would she shrug off the neo-pop single as yet another fascist attempt at devolving individuality into a sameness that she secretly longs for, but can never fail to fight? bitterness, thy name is desire and hope a façade for saints. her son is six. he is smart and bright and intelligent and still hasn't the slightest clue how to interact with a 'true' world that brooks no open falsehoods and disavows melancholy as passé. a window looking outside is his television, wherein dreams whither in an attempt to match his mother's anorexic soul. someday, he might smile, but only after she's gone and he's the one wearing black... and only if someone teaches him how. the lady sees these tribulations of her only love, her only child, but even at her son's age, she would never have imagined twenty-two as all-that-old. this tired, his development is seen as yet another burden that makes her wonder at the motives of a withdraw defeatist who still can't seem to lift her lips into something real. Edit - Fixed some poorly calculated math that pointed this in a direction it wasn't intended. Thanks to those who wrote me asking! [This message has been edited by Christopher (04-17-2006 05:23 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
 too many great lines to quote.. but this is a way cool write. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Yes I agree just too many in there to start doing a "Janet Marie" for I would soon have the entire thing posted. It is a WAY kewl write indeed, and sadly some parts of this write I have witnessed or experienced in another's life that rang just as cold now and they did then. Really enjoyed this one. Ah whattaheck, I can't stop myself... so she weaves rings of silence into the curls of smoke burbling like an ethereal river through a menagerie of air currents and sullen observations, this single vice fogging her visage like the chilled windows of a Chevy holding acrobatic teenagers in the cab. (oh, those fading mem'ries) And this sadly says so much about too many kids of today I am afraid ... her son is six. he is smart and bright and intelligent and still hasn't the slightest clue how to interact with a 'true' world that brooks no open falsehoods and disavows melancholy as passé Waste not a second ~ Carpe' Diem |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"self-involvement is a hearty burden and who has time for frivolities these days?" sighing there is more that I am thinking, but now there is a tune running through MY head-- "ah but I was so much older then-- I'm younger than that now..." I miss you much Christopher, but you are always worth the wait.  |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
bumpity bump bump. Needs a boost, sorry been reading a lot, and sinking some good ones that can't be missed. Waste not a second ~ Carpe' Diem |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
Have to agree with serenity. "self-involvement is a hearty burden and who has time for frivolities these days?" Fantastic lines, incredible poem. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Thank you ladies. As always, I appreciate the comments, the sentiments and the praise (however undeserving it may be  )hugs around.  |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
and k? you wouldn't miss me so much if you improved your aim a bit.  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
*smiling sweetly* As I told the last person who saw my snub nose--"It is my very inability to aim that makes me all the more dangerous." I did love this poem. My kids and I were discussing, with some fascination the difference of societal mores across the country. Southern California gives all us bare foot coon ass folk the shudders tho. I told them there were some good people inside those purty cars tho. The plastic faces kinda creep us out though.  (I thought eyebrows were most effective when they moved, m'self.  )love ya C. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
C, I enjoy your portrait painting techniques. To sing, she must first discover if her own heartbeat controls her vocal chords. Sadly, that may never happen. |
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gypsyheartx Member
since 2006-02-09
Posts 104Istanbul-Turkey/U.S.-Maryland |
Absolutely beautiful!! The imagery paints such a wonderful picture in my mind. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Christopher....a portrait real, and human, done with empathy.  |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Susan - quote away! Thank you for reading and bowing! Sharon - thank you for pulling a JM lol & for bringing it back up when it started to drift into the depths! k - you always bring a smile... even if sometimes it's one of those confused, deer-in-the-headlights smiles. Lady - thank you as well for taking the time to read and express your appreciation. Midnite - thank you for letting me know i was able to show, rather than tell. you are right, sadly it may never and often will never happen. gypsyheartx - thank you for your reply. Martie - always glad to hear your comments. thank you for stopping by and smiling with me. |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
Christopher - this is amazing - you've put words to something I've seen in a sensitive and beautiful way. This really moves me. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Thank you, Copperbell, I sincerely appreciate your thoughts.  |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
So sad that her son isn't her song. The heaviness and burden I received from this one left me feeling a bit monotone .... but I am glad I got here in time to see this one, as I've not been here in some time. Always a joy to read you Christopher, you never cease to amaze me. ~Sheri "Don't wait for your ship to come in ... Swim out to it" |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
well I thought I could until I read this, you do move the reader with words.... And so it those we live with |
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