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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
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| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #37 |
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Can dreams be confused with nightmares...?? |
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FaBeLy New Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 7Querètaro, Mèxico |
Hi everyone!! I`m a new member, I`m just 16 years old, and I like writing, this is the first time I try it in english, so I may have some mystakes about idiom... but my feelings are real, I`m open to any comment, afirmative or negative, I really want your opinions... Thanks!! Just one more dream just one more wish just a truth love who could show me the sun... I see you there with your new love with your new hope of love while I`m here... without you without your companion... without your advice... I cannot cry `Cuz it`s not a goodbye I can feel strange `Cuz it`s tha same everyday I miss your huggs your sweet lips touching mines your warm hands that glad my mind What happened to us...? yesterday we were the best lovers yesterday you were mine and I were yours... Now, we`re nothing... friendship is not for us Someone stole your head you can be with her but your smile would crash with our good memorials... What a life of dreams what this dream of a nigthmare... Life is a dream, while death is the awaken [This message has been edited by FaBeLy (03-19-2006 02:56 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Velia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi FaBely Yes, you had a few mistakes...but I think you did remarkably for a first English poem. Welcome to passions!  |
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