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DejaEntendu
Member

since 2005-12-06

Posts 82
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2006-01-08 09:41 PM

Subdual

I wear these bags under my eyes,
as a reminder,
that clocks don't stop ticking.
So go get your Oscar,
because I'll be waiting,
you'll find me in your room.

Please let me know what you think about it, thanks.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2006-01-08 10:48 PM

interesting
welcome, to Passions
waiting in the wings can be hard

jody5
Senior Member

since 2005-12-21

Posts 876
California, U.S.A.

2 posted 2006-01-08 11:30 PM

Sounds sad. I like it and think it could be the beginning of a lyrics-poem What I like about it is it radiates truth.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

3 posted 2006-01-09 06:09 PM

The dry wit here is pronounced! Hope you get some rest.

Dominique-Simone
Senior Member

since 2005-11-12

Posts 643

4 posted 2006-01-09 10:47 PM

It is funny... and simple. not bad

aujussy wolf

Senior Member

since 2003-08-09

Posts 1215
Michigan

5 posted 2006-01-10 04:11 AM

what i think is there is a deeper meaning to this little writing of yours ... i like the end of this one ... oh yeah and welcome to pip ~J

" the only thing that comes to a sleeping man is dreams " - tupac shakur

playing.with.crayons
Member

since 2006-01-02

Posts 362
Neverland

6 posted 2006-01-10 10:32 PM

"I wear these bags under my eyes,
as a reminder,
that clocks don't stop ticking."

excellent.

farewell the ash-tray girl

DejaEntendu
Member

since 2005-12-06

Posts 82
Pennsylvania

7 posted 2006-01-11 07:37 PM

Thanks everyone. I basicly wrote this one for myself. What it meant to me is basicly that things don't change. When i wrote about the clocks not stopping, I meant that things keep going. The oscar part is essentially about me acting diffrently to others than I do to myself, and how I despise doing it. When I say you'll find me waiting in your room, I'm talking to myself about how at the end of the day, I am the only one that's there, and there isn't anyone to impress. Glad you enjoyed it.

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