»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #37
»
You'd Never See Me Coming or Going Unless You Looked (Masquerade Challenge)
»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #37
»
You'd Never See Me Coming or Going Unless You Looked (Masquerade Challenge)
| Open Poetry #37 |
|
You'd Never See Me Coming or Going Unless You Looked (Masquerade Challenge) |
|
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA 
|
Lost in a crowd of people, You’d never know me there. I’m just a quiet bystander. You’ll never catch my stare. But, my eyes have seen forever back and forth through time. My heart has had its share of bullets and bleedings compressed too soon to heal. Time again I see repeats, repeats, the lines the same, the players cheat. A shame, to turn a tempest into war. Be warned. Beware. It’s rather like a nightmare there, these dreams and walks in fog, tormenting scenes in streams of clarity and smog. I walk in sands of time across the human mind and rhymes, sometimes (oh gods!). I struggle with remains, the ghosts, the pains that haunt me in the night. A price that I must pay to keep clichés at bay is free verse. [This message has been edited by iliana (01-13-2006 04:48 AM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2006 J.A.A.Powell - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
A fantastic write jo.. I have a couple of members in mind who this could be, but I'll wait and see what others say first. Hugs~Nancy In the midst of winter, |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I believe it is Honeybunch! I really do! What a lovely write! Just as she would have done! Whomever it is, they are a terrific writer! lol ~ as are you!   Linda |
||
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
E.A., not telling until a few more take a stab at it. Thanks for the very nice comment. Thanks, Nancy for your post, too. jo |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I will be anxious to see who it may be, as well, and I have a feeling that the first guess may be correct. I am amazed that others can step into the shoes of their admired poets so well! |
||
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Karilea, hmmmmmm? Thanks for reading. ...jo |
||
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
not sure who it is, but fantastic writing regardless. nice work |
||
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Raph, that made my day! Thanks. ...jo |
||
|
Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Hmmm? Well, the content could apply to me but not the writing because this piece has "STYLE"! Yes, this is a stylish write, dear Jo, and in that regard I say BRAVO!  Helen |
||
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Yes, the content could apply to you, Helen, and actually, that is what makes this a little more difficult to guess. So in a sense, it is you, but that is because you share similar thoughts with a few others here. Thank you for that classy post, but Helen, dear friend, you have wonderful writing style!!!! Aren't you going to take a guess, now? ....jo |
||
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
All -- I fear I may not have captured my subject well enough. Honeybunch is a close match but not close enough. Style is secondary to the "feel," although I believe there are a few lines that provide clues (maybe not enough -- I came back and made quite a few changes)...maybe that will help. Try again? [This message has been edited by iliana (01-13-2006 04:25 AM).] |
||
|
Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Well, what about icebox? Yeah - icebox! |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ok, so now I'm wearing my thinking cap. I am truly enjoying this poetic ponder! |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
reads like Karen to me....but i also see littlewing. hmmmmm can't wait to find out.... great work here Jo Mxx how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more |
||
|
LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
this was incredibly enveloping...so much enjoyed My heart has had its share of bullets and bleedings compressed too soon to heal. what a wonderful way to draw this emotion and pain... |
||
|
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Man, this sounds like Lauren to me . . . its beautiful, Jo. |
||
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
One of you is correct....but not telling yet...lol. I will give you this -- there are two very strong hints within the poem. One is almost blatant. Thank you all for your very thoughtful comments. |
||
|
wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
I'll have to hazard a guess at Icebox A very nice write in any case, and the "honoree" should indeed be honored by it |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I'm gonna say icebox too. and much enjoyed this, you. It's fun to cross dress, ain't it?  |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Yep...it's definately icebox!!! Well done! |
||
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
You're correct, indeed, it is our special icebox! Thank you all for reading so closely! This was a lot of fun! Karen...  ..jo |
||
|
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Damn, Jo, nice job, sorry I didn't catch that, when I go back, it is so clear: My heart has had its share of bullets and bleedings compressed too soon to heal. I walk in sands of time across the human mind and rhymes, sometimes (oh gods!). I struggle with remains, the ghosts, the pains that haunt me in the night. |
||
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
littlewing -- he's not an easy one to write either...lol. Thanks a bunch! |
||
|
icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
No one has called me easy in years.  I am flattered and without adequate words to thank you. *smile* |
||
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Mr. C., are your ears burning? I'm on the phone with Serenity at the moment and we are laughing our behinds off.... we're both sending you a big hug & Karen says, "is this one about me too?" It was my honor to even make an attempt.[This message has been edited by iliana (01-14-2006 08:04 PM).] |
||
|
miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Just found this, Jo. A neat read! misc |
||
|
EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
hard to do.. i enjoyed it yes i did with warm regards joe |
||
|
Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Iliana, I guess I'm not active enough on the site yet to get the entire gist of this poem, but it is well written, and walks through the mind can indeed stir up a few ghosts. Thank you for welcoming me to the site. I look forward to reading more of you poem. ~ Karen ~ |
||
|
om Junior Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 31ontario/canada |
Very nice mix! I likes it, I likes it a lot! I can so identifly wit it  Happy to read this Edit: sorry, after reading comments,I didn't get that it was about any'one' in particular here, was thinking it could be the writer, or me, doah man you people are good |
||
|
poettothecars Senior Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 1093New Zealand |
an interesting write, considering the number of responses. However I do feel the poem lost it toward the end and can be off putting, much to what the last few lines are really on about detraction is thus subtraction a poet who cares |
||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
sheeshme, what an an outstanding attempt at capturing the uncapturable icebox |
||
|
The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
Wonderful work Jo. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #37
»
You'd Never See Me Coming or Going Unless You Looked (Masquerade Challenge)
