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Open Poetry #36
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and thus god spake to me...
| Open Poetry #36 |
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and thus god spake to me... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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I am the child held by the scruff of her neck from her collar, kicking the dust aiming at shins and baring my teeth spitting and swearing cold accuracy bold in the rage and pledging the deed: "You-take-that-back" my brother is dead (You take it back) the words that you said as though if you would, if you could, write a hymn sung by the angels a gather of them dancing the ink of notation of Bach prancing like fingers with spanse of Mozart dribbling paint on a canvas this wide capturing Pollock in layers of tide imagine, imagine - a flutter inside bound by your bowels - rebellion--alive! Imagine your bones in split of your flesh Remember the moment of your worldliness. Bold in the rage and fledgling seed: "You-take-that-back" My sister is dead (You take it back) the words that you said as though if you could you'd make the world bleed sorrow of sins of our fathers concede to the strength of our mothers in prayer on their knees stinging the screams of the numb of belief: I am the child screaming "I've had enough" weary from labor of birth of myself - I have done every thing I knew to do. I have done everything. Now why won't you? * * * [This message has been edited by serenity blaze (08-08-2005 04:12 AM).] |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Karen?... I don't have the words... This just runs so deep... it bleeds... and I feel every drop... Love you...  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Trying to say something... but sometimes just presence lets you know ... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
serenity, The face of the world that you paint has so many wrinkles that a tear could not find its way to the chin before evaporating.  |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
K? Why are you soooooooooooo awesome? |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
If this doesn't humble mankind, nothing will Your amazing girl...simply amazing! Hugs Lee J. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
... Karen? C'mere..  |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
words really don't come for this, just sending out prayers for you. |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
She do write some powerful medicine, that she do. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
the words that you said as though if you would, if you could, write a hymn sung by the angels a gather of them dancing the ink of notation of Bach prancing like fingers with spanse of Mozart dribbling paint on a canvas this wide capturing Pollock in layers of tide imagine, imagine - a flutter inside ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ omg...look at all that verse encompasses... poetically brilliant!! rhyme-speak rock and roll!!!!!!!!! oh but baby... YOU DO write them... your words but could and would!! and Im just so damn grateful I get to read them.  I'll bare the brunt of your long buried pain I don't mind helping you out ... But I want you to remember my name Alanis |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Roaringly raw, rugged, recalcitrant, well-written ~ and real... The words and the emotions spilled right from your guts and onto the page. You have an amazing talent, a powerful mind, and an enduring heart. Sending you a comforting hug of love, Linda |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
agreeing with all and adding how powerful a write this is....hugssss Karen... In your light I learn how to love |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
serenity blaze, This is amazing. I feel the rage, the hurt, the pain - so deep. So well written. This is so very powerful!! What more can be said, I reach out to you with warmth and empathy. SG |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
This is something on the "special" end of things. (yeah, yeah, I know, left mesself open there, didn't I?) But really, m'witch, this is. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Personally I always feel better after a soulful purge, and I hope you do too. You keep them alive in wordwise wonder. This was truly a splendiferious homage to a very special part of you. |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
A humbling read that touches the soul of this reader....stunningly powerful...*big hugs* |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
WOW! Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karen You've written these words for me too...thank you! |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
This is awesome. I wish I could write like you.. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
That's it, Ali... Powerful medicine! |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"I am the child held by the scruff of her neck from her collar, kicking the dust aiming at shins and baring my teeth spitting and swearing cold accuracy bold in the rage and pledging the deed" no one else could write that. no one. love you lady. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
Karen- Just ONCE I would like to see you write drivvel... well... actually, I take that back... Your talent is just too incredible, and your writes are just entirely too enjoyable to be anything but the greatness you are known for... and this one fits the bill. Great Job as always... http://www.mysticwicks.com |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
you allow the reader to feel m'lady...awesome writing! Awesome YOU! Mxx ~i want for myself your trembling~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...James |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
do you see do you see the magic of your poetry? see? Im not the only one on worship knees !! gleeeeeeeeeeeee  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
*shaking me head* I could swear Jan tries to embarrass me sometimes.  Um, it works. Ya'll are always so kind to me. And for somebody who's supposed to have a knack with words, I sure wish I knew how to say "thank you" properly. But I do appreciate your comments and generosity so much more than I am capable of expressing. Now I'm gonna shaddup and go read some Faulkner. Hugs and love to you all. thank you |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
damn, if you aren't the FIRST LADY of POESY then no one is |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
The most fun I had in this poem was trying to find out where the title ought to be placed in the text of the poem. I see God taunting your worldliness and justifying it in the same two lines right here: quote:...but I think I especially love the ambiguous punctuation created by the line break right here: quote:Could be "the screams of the numb and of belief" or "the screams of those that are numb from belief" or maybe even "the screams of belief from the numb." I think somewhere way down in there, you like being difficult to figure out. As always, the rhythm of your poem is so animated that it seems frighteningly real, as though to read the poem were to be possessed by the ghost of the poet herself. Reading you is seldom disappointing. Brian "God becomes as we are that we may be as he is." ~William Blake |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
I am the child screaming "I've had enough" weary from labor of birth of myself - I know I do not need to say one thing. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Sue, Reading Serenity, you've got to watch out for the obligatory Jesus analogy, because they're everywhere. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
grin...sometimes I use Buddha too. Not to mention Goddess imagery, and once or twice some lesser gods. Ah, then there's Greek and Roman mythology. But thank you Brian--you put so much thought into your replies that I'm always thrilled to find you've read my stuff. But yes, it's true I tend to use the Jesus analogy a lot, as I find it's a more accessible metaphor than say, the eastern Shinto religion. *laughing* While I won't interpret the poem, I will say that this one took a longer time for me to pull together, and it was actually inspired (or I should say, triggered) by the HBO series, Six Feet Under. Sunday's episode of the funeral of the one of the characters (Nate) was brilliantly written, and I found myself recognizing myself as each of the characters very aptly displayed different stages/expressions of grief. I've been very public about the most recent loss of my sister, who was found dead on Easter Sunday, so you see, the Jesus analogy was and remains a proper analogy. After much soul searching, and nod, a lot of rage and pain, I asked myself if I heard the voice of God would I recognize it...as easily as I could say that the great artists of our time are expressions of the voice of God--I always figgered we are most like the creator when we create, thus this: "dancing the ink of notation of Bach prancing like fingers with spanse of Mozart dribbling paint on a canvas this wide capturing Pollock in layers of tide" Bach was an obvious voice of God for me, as well as Beethoven (but Bach worked better in the meter) the miracle of his (Beethoven--thank goodness for editing as I realized I was unclear) compositions as a deaf composer is nothing short of divine in my humble opinion. Mozart was born with unusually large hands, which make his compositions (I've been told by a pianist friend) exceptionally difficult to duplicate--in fact I believe he mentioned that some of the compositions were amended later in order to accomodate the more average-sized hand. (and yeah, I know, large hands, large? yep--it occurred to me. ) I included Jackson Pollack because his work is still debated by some as to whether or not it is "worthy" of the lofty title of "art". and this was a personal moment I had, when I first felt my baby's kick inside of me: "imagine, imagine - a flutter inside bound by your bowels - rebellion--alive!" (I remembered the joy and wonder I felt, and wondered, perhaps, if there was a being that felt that way about me, so I threw that in as a hopeful "yes". *smile*) All of which are quite different expressions of what I perceive to be one voice being/energy/god--however anyone cares to address g-d is alright with me. It may be simplistic, but it took me awhile to think it through--that perhaps the voice of that being, is as different as we all are different, and yet, nod, the same, as we all are the same. (Hope I'm making sense here) and lest I bore you, I'll not go through the second stanza (I swore I wouldn't do it line by line) but I was illustrating mortality. (Keep in mind that the entire poem is not "me" speaking but God) and nod, there can be no resurrection without a death. (Similar themes can be found throughout various religions, including the Egyptian trinity of Isis, Osirus, and Horus.) And I forget the chapter and verse, but didn't Jesus say that we could all the things that he has done? (I'm sure someone will find that for me.) So I had hoped that I managed, finally, an expression of my personal grief that ends on a note of hope. In the episode that triggered all of this for me, the family is sitting around the kitchen table, basically asking, "What now?" Whereupon another character replied that we all must find the piece of ourselves that falls in love (I paraphrase) but I took that to mean, that when we love others, we give away a piece of ourselves, perhaps the best part, and when we lose that loved one to death or other life circumstances, we have to take that piece back into ourselves, and nurture it as we heal, in order to do it all over again. I hope that helps.  *chuckle* I wasn't being intentionally mysterious, and it occurred to me just now that perhaps neither was God. Thanks so much for reading, my Blakester buddy. It's much appreciated. and if I can borrow a phrase from our sweet Noah? Love and light to you all. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
laughing I said I wasn't gonna interpret it too. sheesh. I'm gonna go read Faulkner now. |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Karen...Hurtfully touching. I feel like too put blame on God or some other power for taking away our loved one's and causing us much pain we have too also blame him for giving them life in the first place, because if they were never born we wouldn't have too suffer the pain of losing them. I hope that someday your hurting heals...Paul ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ Paul |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Serenity? These are the poems that IWIHW... because you bring Bri to the table.  |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Wow! What force! Going to have to save this so I can dig through the layers. Will read again... There is always so much depth! Enjoyed. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
"I am the child screaming "I've had enough" weary from labor of birth of myself - I have done every thing I knew to do. I have done everything. Now why won't you?" Karen I know exactly what you mean. Believe it or not! OMG, this is a great write! ......jo |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Raw rage... woven with ethereal beauty... This one definitely gets a WOW!!! |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
don't have the words, i can only tell you if read and reread this many many times nodding along |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I am the child screaming "I've had enough" weary from labor of birth of myself - I have done every thing I knew to do. I have done everything. Now why won't you? I wish I had the answer to that K, and I do read this every so often to try to figure it out myself too. |
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