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Open Poetry #36
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Sally Anne.
| Open Poetry #36 |
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Sally Anne. |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA 
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When I was somewhat his You and I could not have been less alike Sally Anne of nineteen with your black curls and vodka tongue Unwashed You and he Were mirrors In that compressed maze, You both could see over the top (such perfected dramatics) But crawled A martyr No wonder you drowned together Back and forth in tides Of games and insecure directions. Sally Anne I pitied you and loved him awash with the same. But I looked today And knew you where you once caught my eye with haggard premature scowls You slice now blood-red a pulse of lips and sparkling eyes lined with precision charcoal creeping canvasses that I’m sure he once dulled. Aquamarine are laced with lashes false but fitting to the lengths of which you'ved changed You are still where you once rolled grubby in angst with red wrists instead of red lips, And though We were never same Nor will be I see me in you And you In me. [This message has been edited by gemjop (01-06-2006 03:02 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 gj - All Rights Reserved | |||
aujussy wolf
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215Michigan |
a soul diver , into the deep waters of love and back to the shore once more heavy poem gem . ... happy new year peace ~ J |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
its kind of scary when we take a good look at ourselves, especially when we see us in others, as you have here and maybe not exactly the same, but hints of them. I do that all the time. Your spirit is growing Gemma. Its a beautiful thing. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Gemma, your amazing haunare laced with lashes false but fitting to the lengths of which you'ved changed |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: This is a very mature conclusion in my opinion. We are One. Deep psychological write! Love, Margherita |
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Dominique-Simone Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643 |
this is brillaint..Very plath or sexton to me... of nineteen with your black curls and vodka tongue Your decriptions are powerful. Good job! |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
Thankyou for your replies. You say things that I dont deserve, and Lee, that line was only what it was because Raph pointed out it didn't sit right the way i had written it before, so thanks to him. It was a weird one to write, about an ex of an ex boyfriend. If that makes any sense. Though since she was always there, lingering for some time, i suppose it's not so weird to me.  Thankyou for your kind words. |
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shades of paul Member
since 2005-12-14
Posts 370In Reality |
I do like your style.......paul shades of peace,love,and happiness to you |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Simply brilliant. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
the ex of an ex? Not only did that make sense, but I "got" it first read... I enjoyed this much. Sad to know that we understand some people so much better in retrospect. A great job, and a treat to read.  |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Dominique - Simone said it best for me... "Very Plath or Sexton to me" ahuh... I totally agree... God Gemma this is... abso-freakin lutely brilliant! just WOW! you've collapsed me. library.  m xx how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Gemma this is mind blowing. Fantastic! and then He created the horse... |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
For all the pain of loss, I (and I think, you,) believe that you are far better off than Sally Anne, for you came out whole, perhaps scarred, but whole and with all of your spirit. I hope the pain has lessened, and if not, that it will, and eventually definitely disappear, except for a poignant memory, if it hasn't already done that. Excellent poem masterfully crafted, of course! But what else would it be, if written by you? - Owl |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice...James |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Gemma, what DA said... along with a brava!  Excellent writing! |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
as true to form as i knew you would be...again you have astonished me.. great read chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
Wonderful poem! "are laced with lashes false but fitting to the lengths of which you'ved changed" ...and the end is so tight. Good work. |
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Danie Franklin Member
since 2005-12-05
Posts 68 |
Gem, Absolutely great write you catch the feelings of every reader. Danie |
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