a wildflower in bloom, alone

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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2006-01-02 05:26 PM

no I am not sick of you
I'm just weary of your voice
the endless droning of pretense
a conversation in past tense
or it would be if you'd stop
interrupting me (I nod)
and you just jump the plot
(again)
to get back to the real point of
my existance (being you)
your constant plea of "Look at me!"
(watch me mom, while I do this)
then watch you do it yet again
and again
relentlessness--
(you're my husband--not my kid!)
I have applauded my palms red
and then there is the mess of this:
("When will you take care of it?")
as you gather more, more things
I wonder when it's all enough
What is this stuff and what's it for?
How much joy does this crap bring?
You don't even count before
you're frantic saying "I need more..."

and as you slam the door I breathe
knowing it's a small reprieve
for you'll be back with more, more things--
and none of it I need.

You know you could have everything.
If you'd leave it where it is--
the sky? It's yours, for just a song
but know that it does not belong
locked away within your cave
"admittance" charged as pennies saved
the moon won't fit inside your room
the sun won't shine for you, alone,
and even if it did it won't
be enough to make the glow
of a spotlight centerstage
replacing all the love you crave.

forgive me if I wince a bit
and rub my head as you go on
I am not your audience
and all your noise is poison
it's
driving me insane...

I watch the clock and wait for you
to come and check on me again
to see what I have turned into
while you were away it is
a constant game of pretenses
subject to your whims of change
pretending that it's all the same
while standing in my light, you say
"you're no longer fun" I nod
and pray that you will go away.

You're curious, I know you are,
of how I am when you are not
the center of my universe.
and oh it is a curse, I know,
that you cannot see inside
what is in my mind and know
it's not something you can own.

* * *

I told him once, when I'm alone
that on the days when he's not home
the circus sets up tents and rings
and midget clowns do funny things
as the movie stars line up
to come and sip wine from my cup
red carpet is laid out for feet
an orchestra plays symphony
as glitter floats down from the sky
Galinda good witch sanctifies
the dreams (I hold some deep inside)
and the Gods of Greece and Rome
come to toast the grace of me
and Oprah gives me Oprah wings
she asked me for my autograph
and promised I would have last laugh
she placed tiara and a sash
to crown me Queen of Everything.

That's what he is frightend of--
someone just might send me love.

Truly, it's the saddest thing
that when he is not listening
then and only then, I sing:

a wildflower - in bloom - alone.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2006-01-02 05:33 PM

You know you could have everything.
If you'd leave it where it is--
the sky? It's yours, for just a song
but know that it does not belong
locked away within your cave
"admittance" charged as pennies saved
the moon won't fit inside your room
the sun won't shine for you, alone,
and even if it did it won't
be enough to make the glow
of a spotlight centerstage
replacing all the love you crave.

*******************

you...
are the most beautiful wildflower

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

2 posted 2006-01-02 05:41 PM

Karen, you are also a mighty amaryllis! You stand tall, proud, and strong! ~ and you are colourful ~ and magnificent.

Let no one dim that glorious Light of yours.
Your empassioned write literally spewed down the page in torrents! That was one compelling spill from thy quill!

May 2006 bring the healing and peace that you so richly deserve.

Hugs with love,
Linda

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

3 posted 2006-01-02 05:43 PM

Oh My ...

and more

how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more
~Neruda~

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

4 posted 2006-01-02 06:05 PM

Karen

"That's what he is frightend of--
someone just might send me love."

OK, I'll make him frightened...
by sending love...Maybe it will nock some sense into him..

I love the rough honesty of this..the way you play with words that hit the center  mark of your frustration...

_______  ___ice
    ><>

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

5 posted 2006-01-02 06:12 PM

Boy....can I identify with this gem of a write!!
Made those little hairs on the back of my neck stand up .... ya know?!
hugs, Chrislane

Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.
~Carl Sandburg

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

6 posted 2006-01-02 06:12 PM

Karen

"Truly, it's the saddest thing
that when he is not listening
then and only then, I sing:

a wildflower - in bloom - alone."

I understand this...hugging you!

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

7 posted 2006-01-02 06:13 PM

I so loved this. Only you could have said it true. You described my brother who has left a woman he claims to love so very much. But he never let her blossom. He never learned to know her. Yet his tears flow so easily as he proclaims his love for her. It is always about him. I finally learned after worshiping him so many years that it is he that is so insecure not me and certainlt no her... love to you. martyjo

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

8 posted 2006-01-02 06:22 PM

"You know you could have everything.
If you'd leave it where it is--
the sky? It's yours, for just a song
but know that it does not belong
locked away within your cave
"admittance" charged as pennies saved
the moon won't fit inside your room
the sun won't shine for you, alone,
and even if it did it won't
be enough to make the glow
of a spotlight centerstage
replacing all the love you crave."

and this...

"That's what he is frightend of--
someone just might send me love.

Truly, it's the saddest thing
that when he is not listening
then and only then, I sing:

a wildflower - in bloom - alone."

Damn Karen...I could have written this!!
I wish I had the way with words you do.
Yer in m'head lady!
Love ya!

In the midst of winter,
I found there lives within me..
An invincible summer.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

9 posted 2006-01-02 06:27 PM

it's not something you can own.

No, m'Lady . . . that is something that you DO have for yourself.

TG.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

10 posted 2006-01-02 06:53 PM

and as you slam the door I breathe
knowing it's a small reprieve
for you'll be back with more, more things--
and none of it I need.

~*~

Ok, so check your mail.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

11 posted 2006-01-02 07:06 PM

Are you implying that men are sometimes
insensitive and 3/4 deaf? Yeah, I thought
so.......

Good write Ser., very true....and Yes,
I have been there.

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

12 posted 2006-01-02 07:18 PM

damnnnnnnnn girl ...you can write

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

13 posted 2006-01-02 07:27 PM

i like the wildflower too
roses are too proper and confined anyhow
i also like the weeds, that break thru the cracks and stir things up..anyhow

its okay to bloom alone, if the wildflower cannot fly off yet, as long as you're
still blooming.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

14 posted 2006-01-02 07:54 PM

"I told him once, when I'm alone
that on the days when he's not home
the circus sets up tents and rings
and midget clowns do funny things
as the movie stars line up
to come and sip wine from my cup
red carpet is laid out for feet
an orchestra plays symphony
as glitter floats down from the sky
Galinda good witch sanctifies
the dreams (I hold some deep inside)
and the Gods of Greece and Rome
come to toast the grace of me
and Oprah gives me Oprah wings
she asked me for my autograph
and promised I would have last laugh
she placed tiara and a sash
to crown me Queen of Everything"

What an innovative way to describe the internet.

One man's gimmee is another man's I'll give you....times are gone when one could lock the doors and windows to insure the slave could not escape to the outside world. Now man, and woman, need to use a different approach...like making sure the other WANTS to be there. Those who don't watch their roses die on the vine or turn into wildflowers, that always run free.

"I have a quiet room
A room nobody can see
A secret place that's all my own
And only I hold the key..." Belafonte

Thank God or whatever power that exist that you are able to touch us with your thoughts and words on this oblong screen....you ain't alone, petunia

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

15 posted 2006-01-02 08:29 PM

I feel better--but kinda of strange.

*Not sure if this was closer to sex or target practice, but it sure felt good to write it...

*

thanks to all of you for reading, and winces too--with hugs--'cause you all seemed to understand, too...

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

16 posted 2006-01-02 09:51 PM

A strong and yet wistful piece. Beautiful!

"You're curious, I know you are,
of how I am when you are not
the center of my universe."

pictureme2
Member

since 2005-11-13

Posts 194

17 posted 2006-01-02 10:48 PM

A powerful write! From a beautiful
wildflower! Keep on blooming and keep
on keeping on!
pictureme2

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

18 posted 2006-01-03 12:27 PM

"I watch the clock and wait for you
to come and check on me again
to see what I have turned into
while you were away it is
a constant game of pretenses
subject to your whims of change
pretending that it's all the same
while standing in my light, you say
"you're no longer fun" I nod
and pray that you will go away."

A mirror reflection here. Karen, just have to tell ya that it's been so bad around here I went out and bought a bottle (haven't had booze in the house since I married him). Told him it was for medicinal purposes as I had a cold at the time (good excuse, huh). So, since I toasted Icebox with coffee on New Years, tonight I will toast us wildflowers with a short glass of my favorite libation. BTW, got LD again, so I'll call soon.

jojo

D.Lester Young
Senior Member

since 2001-12-08

Posts 1219
Austin, Tx

19 posted 2006-01-03 01:05 AM

Very powerful stuff in these words, I love this stanza.

You're curious, I know you are,
of how I am when you are not
the center of my universe.
and oh it is a curse, I know,
that you cannot see inside
what is in my mind and know
""it's not something you can own"'.

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

20 posted 2006-01-03 02:14 AM

An extremely powerful and cutting to the core write that many can understand and relate to. I think there are degrees of love and the higher up the scale the easier it is to be tolerant and if we don't blossom - well, perhaps we don't fertilize our own gardens enough. Just a thought but, my goodness me, what a great write!

one woman to another
Helen

tracie66
Member Elite

since 2000-01-18

Posts 4713
Australia

21 posted 2006-01-03 05:04 AM

he'd better be very araid as you are much loved

an emotional read indeed, I felt your loneliness and pain.....a wildflower in bloom, alone...not here, with us you bloom beautifully

~hugs~

Tracie

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe

playing.with.crayons
Member

since 2006-01-02

Posts 362
Neverland

22 posted 2006-01-03 05:14 AM

You're curious, I know you are,
of how I am when you are not
the center of my universe

love it. xxx

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

23 posted 2006-01-03 07:21 AM

Gosh! YOU SING AND HOW!!

quote:
the sun won't shine for you, alone,
and even if it did it won't
be enough to make the glow
of a spotlight centerstage
replacing all the love you crave.

You say the truth here.

An incredible write going into my library!

Love and LOVE.
Margherita

Misty Lilacs
Senior Member

since 2005-11-15

Posts 1060
White Birch Forest

24 posted 2006-01-03 09:45 AM

WOW! An amazing and incredible write. How I wish I could write words like this. Truly fantastic .... you will stay in my head all day!

"God has put me on this earth
to accomplish a certain number of things....
Right now I am so far behind,
I may just live FOREVER!"

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

25 posted 2006-01-03 09:51 AM

I lived there once.

I used to lock myself in the bathroom to get some peace or just to cry myself to a place of acceptance.

They may not be your kid, but after a time, you feel a responsibility to them as if they were, then you end up resenting them because they don't provide what they should for you..

I babble too much.

But I would throw roses at you feet as you walk the red carpet...

because you are amazing...

love you lady!

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Paul Wilson

Member Elite

since 2002-07-07

Posts 4711
United States

26 posted 2006-01-03 11:09 AM

Damn woman you sure carry a sharp knife.
This is pure raw poetry. Enjoyed very much.

I'm passing thru on my way home today and could stop and visit, but might not leave cause i'm sure we could sit & talk all day long.

Take Care

Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

27 posted 2006-01-03 12:55 PM

oh man, Paulie? Did I scare you off? sigh

I just had a bad, bad, day yesterday sweetie.

and I'm smiling at all the love here--I'm trying to imagine you all as wildflowers and what kind each of you would be...

I'd prolly be somethin' with thorns m'self.

thanks for reading

glorious glorious quiet & solitude here today

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

28 posted 2006-01-03 01:00 PM

Yep, you always seem thorny to me

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

29 posted 2006-01-03 01:27 PM

oooooooooooohhhhh...

when this was another forum? grin

you KNOW I woulda bit on that!

beaniebaby
Member

since 2005-11-17

Posts 55

30 posted 2006-01-04 02:08 PM

wow........I think this is the most awesome thing I have read from you.......and that says a lot for everything you write is great!

beaniebaby
Member

since 2005-11-17

Posts 55

31 posted 2006-01-04 02:08 PM

wow........I think this is the most awesome thing I have read from you.......and that says a lot for everything you write is great!

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

32 posted 2006-01-04 02:48 PM

That's what he is frightend of--
someone just might send me love.

and obviously too frightened to do it himself, it's amazing how many morons just can't see..

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

33 posted 2006-01-04 03:02 PM

Raph nailed it!

Wow this has to be one of your very best writes I swear it. Were I a wildflower, I would be a cornflower/bachelor's button for sure!

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

34 posted 2006-01-05 04:35 PM

You know you could have everything.
If you'd leave it where it is--
the sky? It's yours, for just a song
but know that it does not belong
locked away within your cave
"admittance" charged as pennies saved
the moon won't fit inside your room
the sun won't shine for you, alone,
and even if it did it won't
be enough to make the glow
of a spotlight centerstage
replacing all the love you crave.

Oh, wow... Simply wow.

I've known all my life I was the marriage and babies and supper 'round the table type... so finding myself alone, childless and munching yet another sandwich is a source of sorrow... But there are times when I observe a situation that leaves me thinking "there are worse things than being alone." And should I fail to observe... I can always read this superb write again.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

35 posted 2006-01-07 02:59 AM

My Lord, SereneOne, you have made me absolutely
speechless, yet again!! This is the most amazing
write I've read in a long time!! Karen, you
are one of the most talented people I've ever seen
in my whole life, and one of the most loved....
so tell him that!!

And, yep, I totally understand this one, Karen.....
I've only had one child by birth, but I've had
a few through my relationships, I'll tell ya!!
Even married some of them, knowing they
were overgrown babies.

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

36 posted 2006-01-07 04:44 AM

"Galinda good witch sanctifies
the dreams (I hold some deep inside)
and the Gods of Greece and Rome
come to toast the grace of me
and Oprah gives me Oprah wings
she asked me for my autograph
and promised I would have last laugh
she placed tiara and a sash
to crown me Queen of Everything."

My Favorite part...yum! that tasted good as it passed over my tongue...

"Truly, it's the saddest thing
that when he is not listening
then and only then, I sing:

a wildflower - in bloom - alone."

I found a wild orchid once...One pink lady slipper...on a hummock in a hemlock swamp..
I looked all around the several acres of the slough, but it was the only one...

This ending reminded me of that flower, that stood alone in its beauty...the rest of the meadow ignored it, but still it stood its ground...

________ ___ice
><>

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

37 posted 2006-01-07 06:55 AM

Hummm! You are a GEM! Celeste........What a cascade of thoughts so well argued...

Like Don Henley said in one of his songs....
"I was either standing in your shadow
or blocking your light.
No mater how I tried I couldn't
seem to get it right."

Excellent write Nawleans baby.

Eric

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

38 posted 2006-01-07 03:04 PM

There are some days I hop through hoops to write a poem for you guys. (Meaning I'll try every poetic tool in my meager toolchest in hopes I can impress somebody.

)

Other days I simply pour out my heart--my only technique being to get myself out of the way long enough to express what is truly on my mind.

The frustration voiced in this one surprised even me--but not as much as the responses.

So thank you all, with *hearthugs* to those who know the frustration of days like these.

and *chuckle*

I was understood. That was good for me, but a bit sad too. Days like these suck.

I do appreciate, very much, every one of you.

thank you

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