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Savage Quiescence
Member

since 2002-07-29

Posts 326
Wandering

0 posted 2005-12-22 10:07 PM

On my bedroom floor I kneel
nursing wounds that will not heal
candles lit at either side
searching for my trusty guide.
She then comes to take her seat
for the gods we are to greet.
She takes my hand and off we go
I can feel the magic start to flow.
Lord and Lady please be near
I have something that you must hear.
For this burden has grown too vast
and I don’t know if I can last.
I need your help to bear the weight
for soon the time will be too late.
"Silly child, can’t you see
the part of you that is of me?
If you need strength then look inside
for in your heart it does reside.
You are of rain and wind and sea
of all the things that are of me."

Is it complete? I'm not sure.

Thanks for reading, any comments are welcome and greatly appreciated.

Blessed Be.

www.livejournal.com/users/alimakins

Broken
Member

since 2000-03-12

Posts 271
The woods

1 posted 2005-12-22 10:18 PM

Nice flow through out the entire piece, and what a beautiful ending, enjoyed.

Yours truly
~Broken~

"Base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away."

Peter Steele

Edward Grim
Senior Member

since 2005-12-18

Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina

2 posted 2005-12-22 10:34 PM

Very meaningful poem, I really liked it. Keep up the good work. - Ed Grim

Savage Quiescence
Member

since 2002-07-29

Posts 326
Wandering

3 posted 2005-12-23 10:37 AM

Thank you both very much.

www.livejournal.com/users/alimakins

dgvarner
Member Elite

since 2000-05-13

Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

4 posted 2005-12-23 09:27 PM

definately sounds "complete"...enjoyed!

hugs, g

"A tiger who does not prowl becomes a rug..." ;)

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

5 posted 2005-12-24 12:57 PM

Wonderful writing. I believe it is completed perfectly! Very much enjoyed!

miscellanea

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

6 posted 2005-12-26 12:08 PM

Seems very complete to me. My words fail me my chocolate rush is leaving my apologies. Enjoyed nonetheless. And makes perfect sense.

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

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