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Open Poetry #36
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2005-12-22 02:36 AM


Green
the green
a-tumbling
asphalt
and the rolling hills
asphalt
and she saw the stars
or at least she thought she did
holding onto something tight
it almost bit her hand in half
she thought it was her skull

so she

shrugged the thought,
and thought, perhaps
it could be glued
or sewn into

facsimile

something that she used to be,

so she

held on to it very tight
there had to be a surgery
to remove the helmet she
was praying to for mercy please
"Jesus are you there, in this?"
Jesus-was-betrayed-by-kiss
things she thought she had forgot:
they sought her out--
ignored her pleas
as she learned to crawl again
across a highway in spotlights
red and white and siren scream
and she gave 'em all good fight:
"I have to get home before dark--
mother's waiting there for me"
and John was sprawling miles away
within inches of her reach
as she begged the guards of gates
"take care of him--take care of him"
John raised his head instinctively
he heard her voice - he felt her need--
he saw her mass of bones and bleed
and passed out at the sight of "it".

"Don't touch me--I will kick yer ass"
John was lying with the tank
of the bike in cradling
and Julianne could smell the gas
she screamed that John was all she had
and god-you-had-to save him please
as a gathering began
around the broken bits of them.
"Lord have mercy on their souls..."
murmering the mercies, she
rebuked them all, the lathering:
"Don't you pray for me!" she spat.
Save-him-save-him-this-shall-pass
She felt the comfort of a hand
from daddy's funeral long ago...
and she refused to die like that
and she denied the right of God
to take from her another man
dreaming "this ain't happening"
my-god-you-have-forsaken-me
pleading for a rosary
in Arkansas...she says she laughed
at absurdity of life
confessed that she was not good wife
but what a life she'd had...
and then she crossed herself.

She kicked at them with one good leg.
She insisted, "Take him first;
I can take much more than this--
so put him in the ambulance
and g'damn you all," she cursed
her saviors as they complied.
And this time, John, he didn't die...

My Julianne, she called tonight.
I lit a candle colored "bone"
"Solstice" I could hear her smile--
"tell them all I'm walking home"
That we should look for her in March,
the month of hungry lioness,
licking from her paws the blood
of the lunch she'd left untouched
as the carrion made feast
she whispered
"bones are made like pearls--
perhaps I love the sand too much..."
but I heard her grit her teeth
and gems shall be her legacy
knotted on a string of silk
to frame a graceful curve of neck -

in camouflage of steel.


© Copyright 2005 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
1 posted 2005-12-22 09:07 AM


I won't pretent to "get" all of it..as it is your story...

but this:

"and she denied the right of God
to take from her another man
dreaming "this ain't happening"
my-god-you-have-forsaken-me"

hit me hard.  

and they don't have to leave this earth to have been taken from us...

  I love you lady..


"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

pandonov
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478
b/w conscience and insolence
2 posted 2005-12-22 09:42 AM


painful masterpiece...
PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787
Aloha, Oregon
3 posted 2005-12-22 09:52 AM


Amazing the feel of the metal, the sounds of agony, the wrenching of emotion. So very raw and vivid. Haunting write, but masterful.
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
4 posted 2005-12-22 01:39 PM


This paradoxically, brilliant, dark, dark poem is paralysingly powerful and magnificently beautiful, and I think your most stunning masterpiece of the ones I have read so far – though it is difficult to hold all I have read of yours in my mind at one time.  I suspect very strongly that you have a very, very high IQ.

Besides the unexpected images, there are very many extremely clever lines, words and plays on words.  

It is obviously very personal so, although I don’t follow the story, I don’t expect you to explain it, though the rich maze of pathways in the poem tantalize the imagination.  Even without unraveling the story, there is so much to savour in this feast of poetic artistry.  

However, I am very sad, that something is weighing you down like this.  Whether this is about you or somebody else, it must have exhausted you to sculpt such perfection.  I hope the experience was also cathartic.  

- Owl

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2005-12-22 01:43 PM


Karen

An amazing poem from an amazing woman!  

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2005-12-22 02:01 PM


just.....WOW! M'lady.



m xx

how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more
~Neruda~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2005-12-22 02:09 PM


I was going to explain this one anyway.

Before the storm, I was asked to act as matron of honor in my friend's wedding. I have known Julianne since the second grade. Last night I finally heard from her after hearing news that she and her fiance had a near fatal motorcycle accident in Arkansas during evacuation.

And people call me strong? I shake my head.

Juli lost a kidney at fifteen, which contributed to some osteo condition where she began losing bone mass. So throughout her life, she had broken her back and had a steel rod put in there. She broke her neck, and yes, another steel rod was put in there.

The impact of the truck that hit her fiance's Harley hit her leg, and broke her femur right in half. So now she has a steel rod leg too. Her fiance, sadly, was not as fortunate. He lost his leg, and during the ensuing chaos of hospital care, they were separated during recovery.

But I'm still smiing, and hopefully she is too now--we had a three hour phone conversation last night with much weeping, laughing at my morbid jokes, and promises of the future.

She has spent the past twenty years "trying to grow bone."

So I know she would be pleased if any of you who might be the praying type, to pray for them both.

Their heart's desire is to not only return to New Orleans, but they want to WALK down the aisle together.

I promised her I would write a poem for her if she would write me a letter. (Her right hand was also crushed, and she must learn to use her left, and as you can tell, she's stubborn--so I asked for a paragraph--just three sentences. (She'll get a copy of this poem when I receive, because...well, I know her. )

As for this poem? I just typed it. Much of it is her words, that I just put to a rhythm.

But thank you for reading my attempt. And I know she would approve, she asked me to write it for her.

If you think about it, it's not as sad a story as it might seem at first glance.

There's hope in there, and friends? She is a strong lady.


Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
8 posted 2005-12-22 02:19 PM


desperately searching for the right words, and failing miserably.

hugs are better than words, if only they weren't 'cyber' ones

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
9 posted 2005-12-22 02:38 PM


Karen?

This is absurd because while I was reading, before I read your reply, every word, besides the names - well, some of the names actually, are nearly exact as to what I came here to write today.

Last night I could not sleep and watched the crucifixion on a religous channel and you know?  it was the best version I have seen so far.  It showed them all as people.

I have struggled to put what I felt into words from this and oddly, enough, you did that for me.

You see?  I was coming from the mind of Mary and what she endured.  Also that of Jesus, and how he must have fought with his own spirit.

Nobody seems to think too much about the people . . .

read again and then what I wrote here.

yes?

*nodding*

Many prayers for your friends and hoping they get their wish.   If you have anything to do with, I am quite sure they will.

Hugs to you and most importantly, to them and the people who endure things I doubt I could.

Beautiful . . .


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2005-12-22 02:46 PM


And Susie?

I'm having a "whoa" moment concerning this poem myself...

Today I received the most gorgeous present from a much cherished friend.

I was astonished when I opened the box--inside was a beautiful, perfectly matched string of pearls.

I had no idea that gift was forthcoming, but I had just read my own words before receiving my mail:

""bones are made like pearls--
perhaps I love the sand too much..."
but I heard her grit her teeth
and gems shall be her legacy
knotted on a string of silk
to frame a graceful curve of neck -

in camouflage of steel."

*blinking back tears* here

I just thought, "For me?"

So maybe there is hope for me yet, yes?

Love you Susie Q....

and oh my. sigh.

I need to gather myself here.

Someone just collapsed me.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
11 posted 2005-12-22 02:56 PM


aww . . . well bless that soul who sent that Karen, they knew . . .  

thinking now, those pearls will help you and your friend . . . yes?

A sign of the bond for you both.

Of course there is hope for you . . .

(silly)

Cry some good ones, you are much loved.

I love you too . . .

*smile*

Now a proper Lady does need a string of pearls . . .

(this floored me, you always do, its a beautiful thing)

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 2005-12-22 03:04 PM



Through these, my tears,
for their losses,
your compassion,
their strength borrowed upon yours...

I send them my prayers...

for a life full of steel promises...

and hugging you
for always bringing us
a bite of reality.


OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
13 posted 2005-12-23 05:30 AM


Thanks for the explanation, Serenity Blaze.  My prayers for your friends.  They will be fine because they have a friend like you.

- Owl

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
14 posted 2005-12-23 06:46 AM


Sharing tears and smiles here. Thanks for the explanation. hugs, martyjo
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

15 posted 2005-12-23 07:04 AM


My Julianne, she called tonight.
I lit a candle colored "bone"
"Solstice" I could hear her smile--
"tell them all I'm walking home"
That we should look for her in March,
the month of hungry lioness,
licking from her paws the blood
of the lunch she'd left untouched
as the carrion made feast
she whispered
"bones are made like pearls--
perhaps I love the sand too much..."

but I heard her grit her teeth
and gems shall be her legacy
knotted on a string of silk
to frame a graceful curve of neck -

in camouflage of steel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I read this yesterday morning early before any replies and had quite a few "whoa moments" from the imagery and depth of the write...Ive always said you can turn anything into astonishing poetry...
I do so love when you prove me right  

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
16 posted 2005-12-23 09:39 AM


Karen, when you first posted this, I read it and thought....oh,no, a motorcycle accident! Oh dear God....family? Friends? I hesitated to comment because my hubby was in such a horrible Harley crash in the early 80's. Same type of injury  as your Juli. It will be a long journey back for your friends, but we will pray for their full recoveries, and you will write a poem about their walk down the isle.
  Luv you, Chrislane

Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
17 posted 2005-12-23 10:30 AM


'Scuse me while I get my jaw.  It dropped and bounced under the sofa where the dustbunnies breed like wire clotheshangers.  Dayum, Sis!
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
18 posted 2005-12-24 01:25 AM


serenity,

  I was in awe of the intensity of this before I read your response.  Afterward, I am even more in awe of your skillful expression and conveyance of emotions.

  I know there has been much devastion around your home, and Christmas could not be the same.  Still, I wish you a happy Christmas for all the blessings that remain.

cathy
  

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
19 posted 2005-12-24 02:08 AM


How weird!  I read it and at first thought it was the story of Mary actually, and that you went off track (get me LOL,) but after your explanation then Suzie's response I am truly amazed!  I am amazed how much we have all become to think alike, but trust me not matter how good we get at that, I will never be able to touch these lines, ever!


"bones are made like pearls--
perhaps I love the sand too much..."
but I heard her grit her teeth
and gems shall be her legacy
knotted on a string of silk
to frame a graceful curve of neck -

in camouflage of steel."

Yes for you - you definitely should be wearing pearls too!

Sorry I missed this lst go 'round.

majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area
20 posted 2005-12-24 03:01 AM


hard and cold and beautiful

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
21 posted 2005-12-24 03:19 AM


Karen, the first time through I read it I did feel sadness; the second time, I read a little better and gleaned that you were writing it for someone near to you, and felt the happy ending.  I'm feeling strongly that it will be, too.  With a name like that, Julianne, how could it not be?!!  I understand her bone problems well...working on growing some of my own.  And...I will, of course, keep her in my prayers (and you know what those be).  What a wonderful friend you are!  Love ya, jo
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

22 posted 2005-12-24 01:40 PM


*smiles*

My family just read this, and are full of suggestions about who to write about next.

Kind of like- "If they liked that one, you should write about fill-in-the-blank!"

When we used to have parties, they were alot like hobbit celebrations--much drinking of mead and telling tales of warfare and survival.

But I thank you for welcoming Juli's story with prayers. (pause) She's never been an easy friend to have--but I don't think she'd mind if I made her a series.

grin

She's kinda like Lucy Ricardo yanno, "I wanna be in the show, Ricky!"

Yep. A loveable pain in me arse, she is...

ya'll have a merry one--whatever you like to call it.

Much love to you all.

signed,

Grinch-enity.

Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
23 posted 2005-12-24 05:05 PM


Karen...Very touching story. Faith, Hope and their love for each other and friends like you will see them thru this ordeal.
Thanks for sharing...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
24 posted 2005-12-24 07:17 PM


quote
____________________________________________
My family just read this, and are full of suggestions about who to write about next.

Kind of like- "If they liked that one, you should write about fill-in-the-blank!"
____________________________________________________

This is the best compliment you could ever wish for. How many family memebrs ever bother to read  anothers writing? Be it sibling or parent or other relative? Consider yourself wealthy! Best to you.Happy "Holidays" martyjo

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
25 posted 2005-12-28 10:02 AM


Oh, my....

I know that's not much of a response... but it's what you get when you leave me speechless... and you did. *S*

As for prayers... you betcha. *S* But with the determination your friends have... don't be surprised if they dance down that aisle. *S*

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

26 posted 2006-04-03 09:18 PM


An UPDATE:


I got my left-handed letter today!



Juli gets her poem, and for those who prayed for my friends---thank you

John is also doing well--he has a prosthetic leg, and is no longer in a wheelchair, and walks with a cane...so...

maybe we are mending afterall, eh?



Love to all.


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