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OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

0 posted 2005-12-16 02:22 PM

Thank You For Both Dreams
18 March 2005

I think
maybe
I have
dreamt of you
since your death
more than I know
but in your
wisdom
and grace
you are
breaking me in
gently
to remember the dreams
when I awake.

Months before the first time,
I awoke, aware
that I had “nearly” dreamt of you.

Then the first time,
(on the morning after my
late mother’s birthday)
I couldn’t talk about it
for weeks
and yet
I only had a glimpse
of your head
over the second-last stable door.

This time
(on the morning after Tigger’s birthday)
I was close up to you
for a moment
and you were there
and almost not there
good
and kind
and noble
and beautiful,
and for two days since,
my heart trembles
and I am
strangely disturbed
at the enormity
and the newness
of the encounter
and yet
relieved and grateful
and tentatively
reaching
for the peace
and love
that you are
sending me
through these dreams
that I have
awaited with trepidation and longing
for nearly three years.

Yet the strangeness persists
and I am
consumed
with hard to place, confusing emotions
that I think are partly fear, partly longing, partly peace,
- the fear I think, because
I had expected
to awake
unbearably distraught
at the shock of realising again
that you are
no longer
alive.
And yet, both times,
I awoke, knowing that it was only a dream,
and I know
that I have
you
to thank
for that,
my precious, beloved, most loving,
angel horse.
I know, now,
that you will know
when I am ready for a third dream
and I await that with
longing and a little less fear.

- Owl

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2005-12-16 02:42 PM

Oh my friend, I know this one well too.

Sleep is an old adversary of mine anyway, but then?

nodding here

There is the fear that I will dream of someone--perversely twisted with the hope that I will.

*warm hugs* sweet Owl

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

2 posted 2005-12-16 05:21 PM

This was like reading a hand written letter or like eavesdropping in your head as you spoke to him.

There is magic all around us, Diana.

May you find peace in it.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2005-12-16 09:35 PM

Listen....

to all of your

dreams.

.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

4 posted 2005-12-17 01:57 AM

Thank you so much Serenity Blaze, littlewing and Sunshine. Your kindness enfolds me. My beloved horse was the light of my life for 20½ years.

- Owl

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

5 posted 2005-12-17 03:06 PM

Owl, Oh, how I can relate.Beautiful. Thank you for posting it..martyjo

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

6 posted 2005-12-17 03:15 PM

Owl....I am glad that I found this today after what you said in reply to my canary poem.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

7 posted 2005-12-18 02:53 AM

Thank you for this Martie. My ex-husband (so many years ago) said we couldn't have a dog or any other animals (other than the budgie we already had) because I cried so hysterically for hours when the canary (that he gave me) died. (However, 2 years later, he was the one who suggested that we got one. I said, "I thought you said we couldn't have any animals." He said, "Perhaps you have grown up by now." I didn't let him know that I hadn't - or in his eyes, anyway.) Anyway, we got a dog and I got to keep him after our divorce.

- Owl
PS - got to keep the dog, not the husband LOL

[This message has been edited by OwlSA (12-18-2005 05:41 AM).]

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

8 posted 2005-12-20 04:11 PM

I think the part of a heart one gives to their animal friends says so much about a person... As I read the love that flows from your words, I read a wonderful woman... I'm so sorry for your loss (the horse, not the hubby *G*) and wish you dream visits that ease the pain and bring you peace.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

9 posted 2005-12-21 12:54 PM

Sorry, latearrival. I don't know how I missed your response. Thank you so much for that. It is good to know when somebody really relates to ones thoughts. Were you talking about the death of a person or an animal? Hope I'm not being too inquisitive. If I am, ignore the question.

Thank you Suthern for understanding so perfectly. There has been a third and a fourth dream so far. I will post the poems about them. They are both very short poems. Even people who hated or were terrified of horses, adored him. He was an amazing horse and very, very special and not just to me.

- Owl

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

10 posted 2005-12-23 03:03 AM

Actually I saw it as a person only because I have felt that lost and it also reminded me of a friend who always talks of dreaming of her late husband.. But my daughter saw it as her beloved rottweiler, whom she talks about a lot. It is a good poem because it can go either way.thanking you , martyjo

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

11 posted 2005-12-23 03:14 AM

Martyjo, please hug your friend and your daughter for me and tell your daughter that I am sure that her Rotweiler has met up with my horse in Heaven and are cavorting around in fields together. He adores dogs and they adore him and I am sure that the two of them would have been drawn to each other there.

Hugs to you too

- Owl

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

12 posted 2005-12-23 12:23 PM

Diana,

If I could express how beautiful this is,
it would be something that could be
treasured...as is this to you. I know what
it feels when part of you leaves and becomes
but a memory and a dream...I would let you
express sorrow...for it is necessary part of
our lives...

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

13 posted 2005-12-23 12:49 PM

Thank you so very, very much, Magnus, most importantly for understanding so well, but also for finding it beautiful - I am not sure whether you mean the poem, or the other spoken thoughts about my horse and Martyjo's daughter's Rotweiler, but either way, thank you very much.

- Owl

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