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Open Poetry #36
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DanniArtist
Junior Member
since 2005-12-08
Posts 16


0 posted 2005-12-09 08:34 AM


Rainy Echo

Dry floor for wet tears
Folded clothes for lost years
I dug and found buried memories
Super white dust comes with the breeze

Open door for an unwelcome visitor
Small mouse for a pathetic predator
Who rules the world, probably a dictator
Who chooses life, maybe god’s ambassador

Stormy cry for a dying man
Fancy graves for the ones who can
Pay money, they shall live
Say modesty, nothing to achieve
          
Evasive love for a rainy echo
Broken ships for an unjustified embargo
Don’t go, leave us a shred
Of hope, maybe the world is not so bad

But it is. Oh yes it is.    

Twisted moral for common thieves
Glowing banana-shaped moons for dark eves
Who judges us, if we stay selfish and mean
Who smudges us, if we were born shiny and clean
  
Expensive plates for the ones who can afford
Ugly fast food for the ones who die old
Tell me who stole god in front of our eyes
Can you show me his replacement who lays up in the secure skies ?


© Copyright 2005 DanniArtist - All Rights Reserved
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
1 posted 2005-12-09 10:28 PM


I share many of your thoughts - but this line struck me:

Tell me who stole god in front of our eyes

because earlier, honoring Lennon, I changed my quote, which seems appropriate to this write . . .  nice job and I hope you like:




"You're just left with yourself all the time, whatever you do anyway. You've got to get down to your own God in your own temple. It's all down to you, mate.

~ John Lennnon


Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
2 posted 2005-12-10 07:46 AM


I'm with Littlewing in being awestruck by the statement: who stole God in front of our eyes?  That's just tremendous, as is the rest of this work...great writing...'S'
Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
3 posted 2005-12-10 09:08 AM


I concur with littlewing and Sunnyone....the power of that line brings everything together and wraps around the heart....Magnificent...*big hugs*
DanniArtist
Junior Member
since 2005-12-08
Posts 16

4 posted 2005-12-10 02:03 PM


I want to thank you all for your complimentary comments, and Littlewing, the quote you present at your profile is so good and I really did like the comparsion you made !
Thanks again !
Truly yours,
Danni@rtist

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