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Open Poetry #36
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of poet in a potter's field
| Open Poetry #36 |
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of poet in a potter's field |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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These words this madness that is writ a code? perhaps a demon script a claw that curves from fingertip sharp and to the point it is the blood of thoughts that spill to page trumpet of the bull in rage orphaned by the cull I waged a war of richochet. Lines survey fertility a squatter's rights to planted fields and if it's true I own the yield my blood defiled the potter's wheel the flaws of righteousness revealed explosions in the kiln I heard creationism in reverse-- and there were pieces porcelain begging to be stars inert of pots and jars and plans of hands dreaming dripping drop-dead man-- soldier tears I'd wept that day had need of burial. I played with the broken bits of past a puzzle of "the first one last" I cut my finger on the glass as blood inked out the epitaph of poet in a potter's field and I've forgotten how to pray. |
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| © Copyright 2005 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
*shaking head in awe* what an ending |
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she'll_be_apples Junior Member
since 2005-07-11
Posts 22 |
i feel so much sadness here, but think this piece is just awesome.  |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Ok, now this is going to be a mad ramble but: I saw you in a field of flowers, all different kinds, most of them not growing nicely, more like not tended to and there were like artifacts all around you - peeking out of the dirt, unearthed a bit, but it was now and you held in your lap the Bible as you wondered how in the world all of this is/was/has happened. (God, you get IN my head) Forgotten how to pray? You just did . . . |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
There are all kinds of ways to pray... you just showed me another way... and? What littlewing said... |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
I'm with Sue on this one...maybe it's just well my emotions are leadfoot this week but this hit a raw nerve. I mean really hit me... If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Serenity, I am deeply touched by your mastery to unearth visions and emotions that I should be wearing closer to my heart. Too easy it is to become callous and unresponsive to things we think we have no influence over... This is one to read and re-read. You have given me much to think about. Thank you, Karen. miscellanea |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
The words that role from your talented pen are as close to a prayer as anyone can get...words from the soul filled with so much meaning...I love it...*bug hugs* |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
this...you...Incredible! and don't tell me to hush   mxx take bread away from me, if you wish, take air away. but do not take from me your laughter. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"I heard creationism in reverse--" My, what incredibly tuned-in ears you have, m'dear. And each of those pot shards is a separate screamin prayer. [This message has been edited by Midnitesun (07-17-2005 10:52 AM).] |
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SpongeBob New Member
since 2005-07-16
Posts 1Melbourne, Australia |
This is a strong and strikingly original piece that stands out for me amongst the other poems on this forum. Thank you. |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Creole Casserole Queen, ya done served up another finely layered dish. There's spirituality, religious allusions and conflict, and inner turmoil from frustrated understanding. 'Potter's Field', by legend where Abraham buried Sarah, a free tract for the most base people, the suicides, the criminals, the unsanctified, unshriven to be buried. The place where Judas Iscariot was laid after his betrayal of his beliefs. Then there's the rationalization that flawed pottery, or people, cannot be redeemed, have no intrisic value, are worthless and unworthy of the Potter. And seeing how everyone is flawed in one way or another, none will be forgiven those flaws. This rational battles with inner faith, the belief that 'this ain't all there is'. Wonderfully writ, sis. Though you put a large chunk of yourself in your writings, this one ain't all you. This is N'arlins. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
serenity No matter how unique the prayer It spills into the moving air And there it comes to stop and rest Upon the breast that hears it best.  one I owe you and one for this. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
and there were pieces porcelain begging to be stars ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ that is such an amazing vision... truly stunning... when I read this yesterday I was simply blown away...astounded... What has always impressed me about your poetry...(besides your awesome gifts of rhyme speak, emotive depth, metaphor, personifi and imagery)-- is just how intellectually brilliant you are, you grasp more than some professors I know...your mind is like a poetic encyclopedia.  and I'll read ya till I go blind. Thank you clarity ... thank you frailty Thank you consequence ... Thank you ... thank you silence ... Alanis |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I just wanted to say thanks for reading, but especially thank you for thinking--sometimes it's both a joy and a fright to be understood. And I won't go into explanations, and this seems to strike people differently on personal levels, and I rather like when that happens.  So I'll just say thanks and shaddup now. Ya'll are too kind to me. (and Ali? speaking of N'awlins, I think I'll go have sunday dinner at my mom's. Gumbo and potato salad...hmmm--now that could be a poem, huh?) Love you all bunches. |
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adagio Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449Marrero, La. |
Karen, one of your best by me! Thank you for that one adagio |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
If I were my elementary school music teacher, I would give you one of her "excellent" stickers..... suffice it to say I don't post stickers, but this would get the whole book if I did!!! (Even though I feel totally unworthy to comment when I read your poetry, that is.) ....jo |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I read it once to appreciate the rhyme... it flows so smoothly, it was treat to my eyes. *S* And then... I savored those last lines... and thanked you for writing words I couldn't say. |
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JesusChristPose Senior Member
since 2005-06-21
Posts 777Pittsburgh, Pa |
"and there were pieces porcelain begging to be stars inert of pots and jars and plans of hands dreaming dripping drop-dead man-- soldier tears I'd wept that day had need of burial. I played with the broken bits of past a puzzle of "the first one last" I cut my finger on the glass as blood inked out the epitaph of poet in a potter's field and I've forgotten how to pray." ~ Bravo! I loved the final stanza... I could go on about it, but I will say this, "What Alicat said." Really and truly an intersting read. |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
You never cease to amaze K. It's been a long time since I've been around, but you've just made me realize why I should get back in here and read more often You can never win or lose |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
thank you |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
This IS a prayer, Karen... Beautiful... this... and YOU... Love you... "When the power of love overcomes the love |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Yes... a poem on Gumbo.  |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Wow...I am still shaking my head in awe. You are incredible! Patricia |
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