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Open Poetry #36
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inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2005-11-27 09:15 PM




She remembers
when the clouds
can no longer
contain themselves,
and windows become waterfalls,
romances written
within the dots
of temporal colors,

on parlor glass,
the world on a whirl,
decorated doldrums,
on the breakdown
of the cloud carosel,

she remembers
when the rain slows down,

of her suspended state,

and the handwritten dreams
that ink through
the marquise
of window boxes,

amd how shed like it
right now,to have
the glass shattered.

[This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (11-28-2005 07:04 PM).]

© Copyright 2005 inkedgoddess - All Rights Reserved
aujussy wolf
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
1 posted 2005-11-27 10:23 PM


she remembers
when the rain slows,

her suspended state,

and of handwritten dreams
that ink through
the marquise
of window boxes,
  
  
Inked this part is golden , peace
~wman

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
2 posted 2005-11-27 10:53 PM



The clouds can no longer
contain themselves,
and windows become waterfalls,
romances writing
within the dots
of temporal colors,

on parlor glass,
the world on a whirl,
decorated doldrums,
at the breakdown
of the cloud clowns,

when the rain slows
in suspended state,
and of handwritten dreams
that ink through
the marquise
of window boxes,

amid how shed like it
right now, to have
the glass shattered.
...................................

I think the pronouns at best
unnecessary . . .

John


iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
3 posted 2005-11-27 10:59 PM


"windows become waterfalls,
romances written
within the dots
of temporal colors"

Amazing phrases always pot out in your poetry, Michele!  Wow!   *hugs*....jo

bklynboy
Senior Member
since 2002-12-15
Posts 660
florida
4 posted 2005-11-28 05:50 PM


nice...it was really enjoyed by me.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2005-11-28 07:09 PM


a very lovely reverie with a twinge of sadness that leaves me with an ache for something I can't quite place...

perfect for this day lovie

thank you

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2005-11-28 07:33 PM


~Mish~ and when she picks up those shards of shattered glass...will clouds burst again?
gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
7 posted 2005-11-28 10:23 PM


~she remembers
when the rain slows down~

Love that image. love the sound it makes as it does, well, the change in sound.

The movement of your words in this made me want to read it over and over. Keeping this.

P.s - i wish i had some kitties to feed! and you look gorgeous as ever too. x

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
8 posted 2005-11-29 03:36 PM


Every word paints a nostalgic picture and the effect of the last line . . . well, . . . shatters.  Hug all of the kitsy cats for me.

- Owl

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
9 posted 2005-11-29 04:28 PM


To shake memory,
Rain Gods release old romance
Thoughts-from water drops;

She rides on smeared-glass ponies,
Still reaching for the brass ring.

Enjoyed your poem...perhaps the wish for shattered glass is from some anger directed at Zeus,
when he keeps her inside by his storms, and old memories of being jilted run down the panes in streaks?

-----------ice
   ><>

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
10 posted 2005-11-29 09:10 PM


thanks for reading and shedding some light through my storms
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