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Open Poetry #36
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Robot_Parade
New Member
since 2005-11-20
Posts 6
Derby, UK

0 posted 2005-11-24 12:06 PM


You sleep like an angel on these Thursday mornings
And, come 7:45am, the exact same sunbeam
(always perfect and frost-shot)
strikes your face from its hiding place;
The gap in the curtains
(rather like a daytime assasin).

And oh, you're pretty in sleep and charming in blank
At moments like these, I miss you
You must know that, right?
(More than I miss the duvet you've claimed as yours)
And I'm goosebumped and icey pale;
My toes touch yours for stolen warmth
(cold meets hot meets unity).

The ceiling and the hanging, solitary light bulb
Spin lightyears above us, and I wish
(just for now, for one touch)
you'd visit me in this frozen, cluttered land
So the clock would speed forwards to heat
(and make consciousness perfect).




"It's easy for you. You're always happy. You see a peanut, the day's off to a good start. You see some soil, it's a jamboree."

© Copyright 2005 Eleanor Warren - All Rights Reserved
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
1 posted 2005-11-24 04:30 PM


And I wish that for you too (à propos the last stanza).  This is one of the loveliest "I miss you" poems I have read in a long time.  Very sensitive, without sentimentality, and very real. Well done!

- Owl

Robot_Parade
New Member
since 2005-11-20
Posts 6
Derby, UK
2 posted 2005-11-25 11:47 AM


Thanks Sentimentality is one thing I try and make an effort to avoid.

"It's easy for you. You're always happy. You see a peanut, the day's off to a good start. You see some soil, it's a jamboree."

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
3 posted 2005-11-25 01:18 PM


"And, come 7:45am, the exact same sunbeam
(always perfect and frost-shot)
strikes your face from its hiding place;
The gap in the curtains"

Gives the reader a beautiful image.  

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2005-11-25 07:19 PM


enjoyed that gap in the curtain line
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