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James_A_Fraser
Senior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

0 posted 2005-10-03 08:22 PM

     Desperate Message

       Another envelope
                 stamped
         just       the same
delivered                 empty

                 on
       the seal
a trace of                 lipstick
               your color and
    my lips               tremble
      at the      touch

fingers find
                        the place
where       they lay
      for a moment
             of almost      casual
       pinkness

it is an envelope
           arriving empty
                     no more warmth
         than            a memory
               of smoke
your kiss
                       pink ash
and tomorrow
                               another
       pink ash kiss
                        cold
               without message

     our envelope
                             of
                       love
        never to be
                              filled
                      again
        not by you           me
and not                by
               such a
       desperate   message
as an empty
                        kiss

~~J

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

1 posted 2005-10-03 08:38 PM

Jamie ....This is so sad!

Sharksbean
Member

since 2005-09-25

Posts 368
jax

2 posted 2005-10-03 09:06 PM

this is such a sad poem thank you for sharing this

-may the force be with you in poetry

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

3 posted 2005-10-03 10:08 PM

Good write, James, tho' very sad, that empty envelope. I liked the way you arranged it too.

....jo

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

4 posted 2005-10-03 11:23 PM

Wow. Very touching. hugs, Chris

Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.
~Carl Sandburg

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

5 posted 2005-10-05 02:39 PM

it is an envelope
           arriving empty
                     no more warmth
         than            a memory
               of smoke

You even write desperation beautifully. *S* I can't think of anything that would convey hollowness more than an empty, meaningless kiss... Superb work!!!

RennieandBoo
Junior Member

since 2003-09-02

Posts 47
Florida!

6 posted 2005-10-05 02:40 PM

what an interesting way to write a poem! very sad though tons of hugs!!!

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

7 posted 2005-10-05 04:02 PM

Wonderful construction, and your use of language is delicate but firm. Well done.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Angelheart
Senior Member

since 2005-09-08

Posts 754
Jacksonville,FL USA

8 posted 2005-10-05 04:26 PM

This is a very sad write, thanks for sharing this poem here.

Poetry can get you very far
-Laura

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

9 posted 2005-10-05 07:32 PM

damn
an ache of a write, James

Janette

Member Elite

since 2001-07-20

Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now

10 posted 2005-10-05 07:40 PM

GULP!

This caused a lump to form in my throat.

A "Desperate Message" indeed but still beautifully written.

always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same

bslicker

Member Elite

since 2000-12-04

Posts 2321
state of mind

11 posted 2005-10-07 10:40 AM

enjoyed
bernie

A smile a day keeps the world in smile's.
Bernie Slicker

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