Open Poetry #36 |
Shell |
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Shell Our blundering mattocks glitter with the dust of crystal spheres, the stars the shards still falling, while within the final shell we hoard mere warmth, ephemeral entropy; count us wise as carefully we note the time of small events within the fire. Yet we cannot, dare not, leave the wold; the quiet vortex at the center calls a call and cells respond, would scrabble to the back wall of the cave while outside stars fall round in helpless balance, and the fire dwindles. |
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© Copyright 2005 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
bslicker
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
enjoyed i like this one Bernie A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed You took me to a land far far away. Wonderful use of imagery to show the feelings of the narrator. I had to look up a couple of words...(that's a good thing!) |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
I had never used or even heard the word "wold".... I wrote it and knew it was the right word, without even knowing whether it was a word.....just trying to describe the feeling of that memory. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> ______________Ratleader______________ |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
ahhh the 'open country' it's some what a contrast of words....shell and wold.....nice ED.... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
and cells respond, would scrabble to the back wall of the cave while outside stars fall round in helpless balance, and the fire dwindles. Instincts... fear of the unknown... you've captured the most basic of natures... in such a way we don't just read... we're THERE. Outstanding write!! |
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Angelheart Senior Member
since 2005-09-08
Posts 754Jacksonville,FL USA |
thanks for your this, very nice it was. Poetry can get you very far |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
like a turtle we are sometimes recoiling from life into our shell or cave nice write, mr ratman! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Ah, Midnite....you are so very right, in more ways than I can say. On the other hand, turtle does symbolize long life....maybe that's why -- when the sky is falling down....he's a rock. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> ______________Ratleader______________ |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Ed, Agreeing with midnight here, this is just what I read in your words.. you are so inside and expressive. best to you, martyjo |
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