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Open Poetry #36

Electroid - over 40

Bodger
Senior Member

since 2005-06-12

Posts 1260
Tolerance for a short time

0 posted 2005-09-23 02:51 PM

Nothing personal on associated with this

To exist to be more than wires
Forumulated placated in ignorance of the build and version
Spoken to as numbers drives assignments as U/S or us in design times

As spare parts we upload pension benefits extrapolation for the future

In return we translate our bodies for credit ratings and parts

In the memory

We no longer dwell

On the medicine cycle

Bodger

Angelheart
Senior Member

since 2005-09-08

Posts 754
Jacksonville,FL USA

1 posted 2005-09-23 03:47 PM

ahh .. Very Interesting. thanks for sharing.

Poetry can get you very far
-Laura

Bodger
Senior Member

since 2005-06-12

Posts 1260
Tolerance for a short time

2 posted 2005-09-23 04:38 PM

Thank you Angelheart

Every time I write you take the care to comment

I would ask that you dont wait for my next write

I will go back to the Scroll

Bodger

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

3 posted 2005-12-10 06:35 PM

i like the idea, but i feel each line could be a stanza, as if it is not fully developed.

cheers.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

4 posted 2005-12-10 09:47 PM

I agree with maj here.

I think the premise is extremely interesting, and if the sparse wording is part of the intent, I must have missed it?

I'd love to see more of it...

MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

5 posted 2005-12-11 07:35 AM

hello dave, always interesting.

My spirit will rise
above the sea~
There will be no drowning
of my soul or me~

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