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Open Poetry #36
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gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2005-08-21 05:50 PM



Copius cortex,

let me think
for a minute
on a higher level
above eyes on tiptoes
percieving only half
of my whole mess,

a jagged misfortunate circle
severed with scizzors
meant for craft...

I am nothing of art
nor creativity
in this skull-case
of

s w e l l

with nowhere to go.

Tell me
lobe
why do I stagger inundated
with gravity,

Are my synapses so little pruned
in this stark garden
that I never learn it means the same thing
second, third and fourth
since i last let it grow
this figure of speech?

When i knew it would flower
for a little while

Until I love you's
were eyes
that looked me up and down
on their very stalks
at all the excess

you should know

I love you so
towards my right
but my left
dear one
is not severed yet.

© Copyright 2005 gj - All Rights Reserved
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
1 posted 2005-08-21 06:55 PM


The entire limbic system fascinates me.

Emotion, fear, speech, smell . . .

Fight or flight . . .

memento . . .


Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2005-08-21 09:56 PM


"Until I love you's
were eyes
that looked me up and down
on their very stalks
at all the excess"

methinks your brainwaves are working overtime
and its time to let the heart take over

good to read you again, lady!

Alicia
Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279

3 posted 2005-08-21 10:55 PM


ah! so many great lines...it reads so controlled and
if you've ever read anything of mine you might understand
why i'm rather envious of that.
i've read this three satisfying times tonight. thanks.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
4 posted 2005-08-21 11:44 PM


How's my little Gem Drop doing! Do drop in more often ~ pretty please!

I doubt that there has been a poem of yours that I have not read at least twice! They are so rich in text and truths!

~ "Are my synapses so little pruned
in this stark garden" ... A question that I have asked of myself far too many a time! lol

Loveya!
Linda

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
5 posted 2005-08-22 08:07 AM


Sue, me too, its fascinating, how each part of the brain holds different 'powers' almost.
Thanks for always reading. x

Kacy, thankyou, but trust me, following my heart will do me no favours in this one! x

Alicia, wow, three times, what a compliment. And yes, i have read you, recently 'the thin lines' something like that..and see no reason for you to be envious of anything i write, when you write like that! x

Linda, awwww i love hearing from you, you always make me feel happy. thankyou too, for always reading me. And oh yes, I'm with you there on the pruning, what is the matter with our brains?! x

Damned ladies of Orpheus
Your arias cause a stir in my sad
Sad and lonely heart


garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
6 posted 2005-08-22 12:26 PM


I love you so
towards my right
but my left
dear one
is not severed yet.
  

I've always been fascinated by the way our brains work.
And I loved the way you weaved these facts into your
poem. Really awesome writing, Little One.

And, I love your picture up there. The color of
your hair looks good on you.

See you later, sweetie.
Hugs,



JesusChristPose
Senior Member
since 2005-06-21
Posts 777
Pittsburgh, Pa
7 posted 2005-08-23 05:43 PM


I had some training on this myself.

"Are my synapses so little pruned
in this stark garden
that I never learn it means the same thing
second, third and fourth
since i last let it grow
this figure of speech?"

Very cool! I much enjoyed reading this... the meaning is still sinking into, now which part of the brain is that again?

"If this grand panaorama before me is what you call God... then God is not dead."

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2005-08-23 08:06 PM


"of my whole mess"

I just love that line.

The juxtapostion of "whole" and "mess" coupled with the marriage of the two in description is my appetizer to a feast of thought.

I love when that happens.

*thank you*

I should tell you more often, but I count you as one of the more inspirational poets here.

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
9 posted 2005-08-24 12:25 PM


Wow, you're writing a controlled poem about how the BRAIN works, and I struggle to comprehend my life from day to day.  I believe my brain works just fine, but as far as how, umm, *shrug*.  Oh yeah your picture is cool looking too.

-GIS

Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purposes

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

10 posted 2005-08-24 01:55 PM


Are my synapses so little pruned
in this stark garden
that I never learn it means the same thing
second, third and fourth
since i last let it grow
this figure of speech?


whoa!! and then....but my left is not severed yet...

very strong and powerfully felt..this is one of my favorites..


Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
11 posted 2005-08-24 02:27 PM


"Until I love you's
were eyes
that looked me up and down
on their very stalks
at all the excess

you should know

I love you so
towards my right
but my left
dear one
is not severed yet"



you rock.     and I am speechless.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
12 posted 2005-08-24 05:20 PM


good read
brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
13 posted 2005-08-25 11:20 PM


a limbic alembic gem

great poem

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
14 posted 2005-11-23 11:30 AM


had to go hunting for this one, #$&%$*@ fantastic. some of your best writing this
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