Hey, I got freedom of speech, you know?
The Constitution tells me so!
Anything I want to write
I claim as my God-given right.
No one can give me any lip
Or I will scream out CENSORSHIP!
'Cause I got freedom of speech, you know?
The Constitution tells me so.

Cut off my hands I'll use my toes.
If they decide to cut off those
I'll use my mouth to hold the pen
And write my thoughts down once again.
They come to sew my two lips shut?
I'll shove a pencil up my butt
And wiggle out my words of wit
Even if they smell a bit!

No one can censor what I write
Unless they want a bloody fight.
This man has got the right to choose
Whatever words I want to use
And I demand that you respect
Whatever topic I select
'Cause I got freedom of speech, you know?
The Constitution tells me so.

So I wrote down some verses mean
And sent them to a magazine.
"Print these!", I said, "..and don't delay.
I'll check the pages every day.
Don't try to tell me that you can't
Unless you want to hear me rant
'Cause I got freedom of speech, you know?
The founding fathers tell me so!"

"Yeah, you got freedom of speech", they said
"..and you can have your poems read.
Hand them out as birthday treats,
Pass them out on city streets,
Nail them to poles and trees,
Have them carried by the breeze,
Get a billboard ten feet high
So folks can read them passing by..."

"But these cruel lines will not be seen
By readers of this magazine.
We have the right to pick and choose
Things we'll accept or just refuse.
Write what you want but don't expect
Our owner granting you respect.
We have the right to tell you no
The Constitution tells us so."

So I went to the Daily News,
Screamed, "Print this now and don't refuse!!!"
"I want it on a feature page!!
Don't make me throw a fit of rage.
I buy your paper every day,
The customer should have his way
'Cause I got freedom of speech, you know?
The Constitution tells me so!"

The Daily News called me insane
And said their rules were very plain.
No foul-mouth, racial words of rage
Would ever grace a single page.
Although I have the right to write it
They had the right to not highlight it.
I need to find a way to strip
Them of their rules of censorship!

So then I formed a protest group,
Called up the News, said, "Here's the scoop!
You have to print out our demands
And how we suffer at your hands.
We'll call you all four-letter names
And ridicule your foolish games.
You'll print it all - you have no choice.
The Bill of Rights protects our voice!"

So did they do it? Not a chance.
We got a swift kick in the pants.
It just ain't fair, this travesty
Of constitutionality.
We have the right to write, no doubt,
But we can't make them print it out!!
We only have one final bet,
We'll try it on the internet!!!!