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serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2005-06-17 01:56 AM


This
it's what you didn't start
it's cleaving
what you didn't leave
earth in dribbles dry of hands
you left a straw there in a stream
a river you had dug
yourself
for a bug
like me to clasp
as you grasped the hose
I see
this is mine
my words are

me

strung out in complicity

I made you much more than you are

Jesus Christed Metaphor

and wishes made the prayer succeed

a fervor faith cannot recant

and all the stations scream the bleed;

I held my hand stunned to my head

and left a map of needing greed

dribble drop in loneliness

this, it's what you didn't start-
cleaving what you coudn't leave,
earth in nibbles lie command
adept in her agility
a river, you had blown to bits
a simple licking of the lips
mellowing the words
of curse

strung out in complicity

of what you are, today,

She prayed:

Jesus Christed Metaphor.

Wishes make the prayer succeed
and fervor is my stone.

© Copyright 2005 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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with you
1 posted 2005-06-17 02:03 AM


"I see
this is mine
my words are

me

strung out in complicity

I made you much more than you are

Jesus Christed Metaphor

and wishes made the prayer succeed

a fervor faith cannot recant"

you make me wish I could write like you...

amazing, yes, you are

timothysangel1973
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Never close enough
2 posted 2005-06-17 02:10 AM


okay Karen, normally I always "get" your writing lol...

But this one has me a little confused, and it could be because I am sick as a dog and have been drinking Rock and Rye to kill the cough I have, along with Tylenol PM which aren't working.

I can't sleep, so I read, but I'm a bit confused on this one, and ya know I love your writing, so it makes me ill at myself when I don't get the message that you are trying to convey.

Beautiful words I admit, just a little lost as to what it all means

Forgive me *hiccup*

iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
3 posted 2005-06-17 02:11 AM


Power poem.....studying it over and over again.  My jaw almost always drops when I read your weaving.  lol....just let me say, that it...metaphorically speaking....dropped down to my knees on this one!  I guess I'm going to have to go back and collect them all and print them out....(since you don't have a hardback yet)...'cuz I just think you are an amazing, amazing writer, Karen!  Love ya lady......jo
iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2005-06-17 02:12 AM


Opps...forgot to click "libary."
Kaoru
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since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
5 posted 2005-06-17 02:15 AM


You're an amazing woman and writer.

Just thought I'd let you know.


timothysangel1973
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Never close enough
6 posted 2005-06-17 02:26 AM


Just came back to say.... sorry if I sounded crazy as a loon up there

Too much cheap liquor to kill a cold and not enough sleep

Love ya lady


iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
7 posted 2005-06-17 02:39 AM


Came back to say.....interpretations could be several on this one.  I found my own meaning in that I'm guilty of my own JC Metaphor and cleave what I can't leave... fervour is my stone right now, too.  'Course....maybe I'm not getting this right....but then again, maybe I am.  Oh, that fervour....and, oh, those wishes.  The depth of your writing just astounds me.  
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2005-06-17 02:59 AM


sighing

I've got this great kitchen, with this really cool cracked tile counter, and I can make some mean-mad-good omelets!

*touching my heart here*

wish you were all here

smile

omelets are easy to explain

the rest? okay, so I hand out the shells and ask you what you see...

grin..

thank you ladies, and damn, we'll have one helluva a pj party one day.



*touch the screen*

(and nod, that's purty much how I live) I make gods outta egg yolks.

not a stretch if ya think about it...

Dark Angel
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since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

9 posted 2005-06-17 08:00 AM


i wonder M'lady, if you know just how remarkable you are.

wow!

i'm keeping it too

mxx  

"we all have wings, but some of us don't know why"

Michael Hutchence (INXS)

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2005-06-17 08:28 AM


serenity,
"Wishes make the prayer succeed
and fervor is my stone."

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

11 posted 2005-06-17 08:31 AM


there you are, you miss merlin of words, in woman's clothing...hehehe

when it came to body and mind, my grand ma ma kicked ass....but when it came to faith, she was a silent...lived by the rules of her own declaration of independence...

Hey girl, I've missed you...and I'm lost, I don't understand this one missy?  

One, or, my pea brain takes several meanings, both negative and possitive, and yet, feel you stating, that your faith is still intact in stone and as strong as ever?

Hugs you, and thank you for sharing.


Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 2005-06-17 09:05 AM



From the gut writing...
no apologies...
no excuses...

just the stuff that means something.

That's why I admire you.



Pass the eggshells.

Dark Angel
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since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

13 posted 2005-06-17 09:15 AM


"we all have wings, but some of us don't know why"

Michael Hutchence (INXS)

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2005-06-17 10:54 AM


This
it's what you didn't start
it's cleaving
what you didn't leave
earth in dribbles dry of hands
you left a straw there in a stream
a river you had dug
yourself
for a bug
like me to clasp
as you grasped the hose
I see
this is mine
my words are

me

strung out in complicity

I made you much more than you are

Jesus Christed Metaphor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
this, it's what you didn't start-
cleaving what you coudn't leave,
earth in nibbles lie command
adept in her agility
a river, you had blown to bits
a simple licking of the lips
mellowing the words
of curse

strung out in complicity

of what you are, today,


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
this reminds me of our "pedestals" conversation....

they fall.... WE get the bruised knees...
yaya
*sigh*
(ykikykik)

and?


you left a straw there in a stream
a river you had dug



YOU ROCK LOVIE  


Dont give up on me ... I'm about to come alive ...

Train

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
15 posted 2005-06-17 01:07 PM


there is a lot of power within this....indeed amazing....

I keep a fragrance bottle my
muse gave me when I met him
in endless winter and he
settled me into remembering
who I am.

Startime55
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since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
16 posted 2005-06-17 03:50 PM


Powerful wishes wrapped in powerful words...Amazing insight...*big hugs*

Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
17 posted 2005-06-17 04:29 PM


very strongly written Lady Poetess.
Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
18 posted 2005-06-17 04:46 PM


I like how your words have such strength.  You carry them.

-Juju

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

19 posted 2005-06-17 04:48 PM




and smile

*backspaced*

not explaining this one--but it's not about religion at all. So I hope none of you were offended by my chosen metaphor. It wasn't like that at all.

to Jan.

and oops, I prayed for rain and look at us now.

sigh

(Next time I should pray for money, maybe?)

serenity exits, ducking the raindrops...thanks for reading!


Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
20 posted 2005-06-17 06:31 PM


i neither confirm, nor deny your abilities within the egg arts. i can, however, verify that you weave absolute magic with words

'as is the omellete, so is the egg'
               ~hermes trybreakfast

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
21 posted 2005-06-17 10:46 PM


Religion, or not

Sympathetic magic, or not

A psalm of life, or not

You just wrote Gospel music!

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
22 posted 2005-06-18 06:29 AM


Oh, dear Karen, I think if I read your poem one further time I will know it by heart ... but with each new reading it's as if I approach YOU and I come closer and closer ... and in the end I feel like drowning clinging to that straw, ME heavy as a stone ... then when the straw and the stone/pain are finally vanquished I am ready to surge from that river and LIVE and BE myself again.
Just my free interpretation.
One thing is sure, your amazing poetry keeps the reader spellbound.
Love and hugs.
Margherita

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
23 posted 2005-06-18 12:39 PM


Ok, you ask me to glance into the shell and I see:

a man, simply that - peaceful not really wanting or asking for this "mission" but having to follow the path anyhow (hmm, much like life, really) and then I see us, questioning life, existence, our own paths - as he did and you know what?  

it is all just the same day . . .

Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
24 posted 2005-06-18 01:54 PM


Hmm, I look inside an egg, and see an empty shell   This is a deep one you stinker, I can't get this one - no way, no how, but I sure like how you write anyway. Yes, I am laughing my butt off here.
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
25 posted 2005-06-18 02:32 PM


yeah;  THAT...



it's not so much that the world can't be changed I suppose -- it's just damn hard to IMPROVE.

which is the same thing I hafta say about your writing fiery one.

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