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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
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| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #35 |
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Jesus Christed Metaphor |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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This it's what you didn't start it's cleaving what you didn't leave earth in dribbles dry of hands you left a straw there in a stream a river you had dug yourself for a bug like me to clasp as you grasped the hose I see this is mine my words are me strung out in complicity I made you much more than you are Jesus Christed Metaphor and wishes made the prayer succeed a fervor faith cannot recant and all the stations scream the bleed; I held my hand stunned to my head and left a map of needing greed dribble drop in loneliness this, it's what you didn't start- cleaving what you coudn't leave, earth in nibbles lie command adept in her agility a river, you had blown to bits a simple licking of the lips mellowing the words of curse strung out in complicity of what you are, today, She prayed: Jesus Christed Metaphor. Wishes make the prayer succeed and fervor is my stone. |
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| © Copyright 2005 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"I see this is mine my words are me strung out in complicity I made you much more than you are Jesus Christed Metaphor and wishes made the prayer succeed a fervor faith cannot recant" you make me wish I could write like you...  amazing, yes, you are  |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
okay Karen, normally I always "get" your writing lol... But this one has me a little confused, and it could be because I am sick as a dog and have been drinking Rock and Rye to kill the cough I have, along with Tylenol PM which aren't working. I can't sleep, so I read, but I'm a bit confused on this one, and ya know I love your writing, so it makes me ill at myself when I don't get the message that you are trying to convey. Beautiful words I admit, just a little lost as to what it all means Forgive me *hiccup* |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Power poem.....studying it over and over again. My jaw almost always drops when I read your weaving. lol....just let me say, that it...metaphorically speaking....dropped down to my knees on this one! I guess I'm going to have to go back and collect them all and print them out....(since you don't have a hardback yet)...'cuz I just think you are an amazing, amazing writer, Karen! Love ya lady......jo |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Opps...forgot to click "libary." |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
You're an amazing woman and writer. Just thought I'd let you know. |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
Just came back to say.... sorry if I sounded crazy as a loon up there Too much cheap liquor to kill a cold and not enough sleep Love ya lady |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Came back to say.....interpretations could be several on this one. I found my own meaning in that I'm guilty of my own JC Metaphor and cleave what I can't leave... fervour is my stone right now, too. 'Course....maybe I'm not getting this right....but then again, maybe I am. Oh, that fervour....and, oh, those wishes. The depth of your writing just astounds me.  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
sighing I've got this great kitchen, with this really cool cracked tile counter, and I can make some mean-mad-good omelets! *touching my heart here* wish you were all here smile omelets are easy to explain the rest? okay, so I hand out the shells and ask you what you see... grin.. thank you ladies, and damn, we'll have one helluva a pj party one day.  *touch the screen* (and nod, that's purty much how I live) I make gods outta egg yolks.  not a stretch if ya think about it... |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
i wonder M'lady, if you know just how remarkable you are. wow! i'm keeping it too mxx "we all have wings, but some of us don't know why" |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
serenity, "Wishes make the prayer succeed and fervor is my stone." |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
there you are, you miss merlin of words, in woman's clothing...hehehe when it came to body and mind, my grand ma ma kicked ass....but when it came to faith, she was a silent...lived by the rules of her own declaration of independence... Hey girl, I've missed you...and I'm lost, I don't understand this one missy? One, or, my pea brain takes several meanings, both negative and possitive, and yet, feel you stating, that your faith is still intact in stone and as strong as ever? Hugs you, and thank you for sharing. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
From the gut writing... no apologies... no excuses... just the stuff that means something. That's why I admire you. Pass the eggshells. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
 "we all have wings, but some of us don't know why" |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
This it's what you didn't start it's cleaving what you didn't leave earth in dribbles dry of hands you left a straw there in a stream a river you had dug yourself for a bug like me to clasp as you grasped the hose I see this is mine my words are me strung out in complicity I made you much more than you are Jesus Christed Metaphor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ this, it's what you didn't start- cleaving what you coudn't leave, earth in nibbles lie command adept in her agility a river, you had blown to bits a simple licking of the lips mellowing the words of curse strung out in complicity of what you are, today, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ this reminds me of our "pedestals" conversation.... they fall.... WE get the bruised knees... yaya *sigh* (ykikykik) and? you left a straw there in a stream a river you had dug YOU ROCK LOVIE  Dont give up on me ... I'm about to come alive ... |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
there is a lot of power within this....indeed amazing.... I keep a fragrance bottle my |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
Powerful wishes wrapped in powerful words...Amazing insight...*big hugs* |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
very strongly written Lady Poetess. |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
I like how your words have such strength. You carry them. -Juju |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
and smile *backspaced* not explaining this one--but it's not about religion at all. So I hope none of you were offended by my chosen metaphor. It wasn't like that at all. to Jan.and oops, I prayed for rain and look at us now.  sigh (Next time I should pray for money, maybe?) serenity exits, ducking the raindrops...thanks for reading! |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
i neither confirm, nor deny your abilities within the egg arts. i can, however, verify that you weave absolute magic with words 'as is the omellete, so is the egg' ~hermes trybreakfast |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Religion, or not Sympathetic magic, or not A psalm of life, or not You just wrote Gospel music! |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Oh, dear Karen, I think if I read your poem one further time I will know it by heart ... but with each new reading it's as if I approach YOU and I come closer and closer ... and in the end I feel like drowning clinging to that straw, ME heavy as a stone ... then when the straw and the stone/pain are finally vanquished I am ready to surge from that river and LIVE and BE myself again. Just my free interpretation. One thing is sure, your amazing poetry keeps the reader spellbound. Love and hugs. Margherita |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Ok, you ask me to glance into the shell and I see: a man, simply that - peaceful not really wanting or asking for this "mission" but having to follow the path anyhow (hmm, much like life, really) and then I see us, questioning life, existence, our own paths - as he did and you know what? it is all just the same day . . . |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Hmm, I look inside an egg, and see an empty shell This is a deep one you stinker, I can't get this one - no way, no how, but I sure like how you write anyway. Yes, I am laughing my butt off here. |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
yeah; THAT... it's not so much that the world can't be changed I suppose -- it's just damn hard to IMPROVE. which is the same thing I hafta say about your writing fiery one. |
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