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Open Poetry #35

Natural Love

Don_Juan
Member

since 2004-04-08

Posts 252
Far from where I am going

0 posted 2005-02-23 10:24 PM

I never want to remember
my love as she is
when the day's hours
grow more numerous
and higher in value.
no!
i want a natural love
remembering her without
her painted on world ready face
with her hair laid in shambles
as she is when i wake up
next to her
before breakfast is served
and her breath rancid
teeth unbrushed
and we kiss, ooh!
but thats the love i want
the love that would make me
build a world for her
with my words
under her minds eye window
(my heart)
that's the love i desire.

nice use of muffin

aim= FlyingScrew and EtherealCriminal. message me if you feel.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2005-02-23 11:28 PM

Nature does not hide her beauty, or premier it falsely. What you have written here is deep and full of promise. Especially liked the flow of the verse...open and free.
TD

Foxyoasis
Senior Member

since 2003-06-10

Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla

2 posted 2005-02-24 12:00 PM

I love this so much!!!!

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2005-02-24 09:48 AM

good write

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