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Explosions Within
| Open Poetry #35 |
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Explosions Within |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time 
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As the flame touched the night it exploded like a sparkler shooting burning cinders through the air as if it belonged there Slowly dissopating into the figure of beauty and there she sat almost angelic Her brazen hair shimmering sending light in every corner of the dark smokey room I could feel her one more drink and i could've heard her breathing such vibrance almost inebreating on it's own shivers up and down at a smile and touch that melts me into a state of take me away turning my whole being weightless Yearning for what i've been missing and angels sang as her name reverbed through my head like sweet honey dripped on my tongue I repeated it again goosebumps as she rose so gracefully a rose in a garden of weeds and she glides nearer and nearer until i'm blind except to the radiance of her aura and we are one 5-12-05 i'd really appreciate any comments on this one, i've been playing with some new techniques and i'd like to hear what you guys think about it. Thanks - Kaos "I don't know who or where i am |
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| © Copyright 2005 Michael Lentini - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Canuckster Member
since 2002-01-09
Posts 285New Mexico, USA |
You have definite ability and talent here. A few spelling errors detract. I like how you use your spacing to create pace and pause. Write on! never try to teach a pig to sing |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
nice theme and format... continue with this style, it suits you but watch for the typos and/or spelling |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
thanks for the comments, lol i have my days when i can spell ; ) "I don't know who or where i am |
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