Cancelled Tickets And Niki’s Living Theater

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icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2005-05-28 04:20 PM

(This is a re-write of an earlier posting. This is closer to the poem I tried to write before. My apologies for taking this forum to work this out of my thoughts.)

Women leave
and that's a fact,
one day they turn
and don't turn back,
surviving’s just the trick
of learning comfort
with casual duplicity,
to ignore the crafted hurt,
to avoid the shallow pity,
to dodge the superficial tears,
since the choice is built into their genes;
it is like accepting mold and damp
when living where it always rains,
it is like remembering
that a dog having bitten once
may always bite again.

As she closed the door
I watched her walk away,
mumbling fabrications to herself,
this and that
or was it that and this?
Her reasons constructed clearly
for her momentary need
to stand back far from the abyss
without requiring ropes of reason,
simple justifications in transfer
for lies she had to tell herself
for whoever sanctions her survival;
she left no room for me to say,
“Hey, I didn’t have to be this way.”
or to ask why she had to lie;
she has forgotten
her own grandmother’s warning,
that the fastest ship of lies,
can never outrun the truth.

There was no reason to choose this single day,
over any other;
since she’d begun to change
with opportunities of the season,
it had become two steps forward
two steps back,
as if it wasn’t obvious
she always kept new hearts
stacked and waiting on the rack,
new hearts always
panting to rise heroically,
the hardest tack for sailing any memory
is the simple art of knowing
when the pains should not be showing,
that I was never meant to take any of it
personally.

Always her reasons were kept loose,
flexible truths,
so the walls of self could
no more define her existence,
no chance was left upon reflection,
"mine eyes have seen the glory"
only of other's introspection
and the forgotten loss
of that which had been sighed upon,
promised to how many
as a thing,
tangible in dreams alone,
stated passions
that should have been forever
and yet
now become always gone
retracted as a moment’s whimsy in time,
to become that which can not be contained
within,
left to a simple fate rolled up
and just as simply delivered
in pseudo-mystical caprice and whim.

Shake the rattle,
ring the bell,
dare to meet me at the gates of Hell
if you really want to share a ride;
upon dying,
when you try to stare
into the soul of the essence,
keeper of the Akashic record,
see what happens by forgetting
it is polite to stand in shadows
on the side.

©2005 by icebox

timothysangel1973

Senior Member

since 2001-12-03

Posts 1725
Never close enough

1 posted 2005-05-28 04:39 PM

Well, I sure am glad that you decided this one worthy enough to keep at it till you completed it.

This was absolutely awesome and so full of truth

Going into my library

Thank you for sharing Ice

I may hate myself in the morning - but I'm gonna love you tonight
-Lee Ann Womack

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

2 posted 2005-05-28 07:01 PM

icebox

I recall saying, not all woman leave, to the original poem. Now that you have singled out a person (Nicki), It isn't necessary for me to feel so defensive for woman in general. I like this new one...it seems more polished and is easier to read and understand.

No need to appologize...it is sometimes good to rewrite, many times good. I hope you feel better about this poem now. As all of yours are, it is full of honesty and well thought out feeling.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

3 posted 2005-05-28 09:51 PM

Into my library this goes as I reflect on the fickle flames of passion and the heart which has a mind (and memory) of its own. *hugs to you Mr. C.* ......jo

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

4 posted 2005-05-29 01:35 AM

icebox - wandering down the page is like entering Alladin's cave and taking possession of a treasure chest of words. I do recall reading the original and am glad to see that the particular phrase I highlighted then still remains - "the fastest ship of lies ... etc." A most touching write felt in the heart.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

5 posted 2005-05-29 07:07 PM

I too recall the first write.
This one is much more 'polished'..well done!
Hugs~Nancy

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2005-05-30 07:09 PM

I have read this several times now...
good write from the heart

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

7 posted 2005-05-31 10:04 AM

Dearest Icy...Nikki was, of course, a fool. And there seems to be way too many fools in this world. Way too many.

Reading this has caused that tiny spark of inspire in me...the one we feel but try to bank until we have the time to do it justice...

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

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