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Open Poetry #35
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Reflection
| Open Poetry #35 |
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Reflection |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time 
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I dare to be different you call me a freak I want to be heard but you don't let me speak I'm down and you wonder why?! not a day passes that i don't cry I gaze in the mirror and looking at me isn't the same person i used to see Looks haven't changed but deep in the eyes a world is seen veiled in lies I see the reflection of a heartbroken child his sanity slipping his feelings defiled Emotionally raped by the people he needed backs turned on him raped and then cheated Shattered look a tear streaked cheek Finally broken unable to speak written Dec 00 btw i also post in dark poetry if you are interested in reading piece i don't post here and occasionally in the critical analysis forum " How can i feel if i can't breathe...?" |
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| © Copyright 2005 Michael Lentini - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Now, I realize you had two thoughts in one break, but you seperated them with two spaces.. Why, May i ask not make another break???? What was your purpose, because I want to know. It is intresting and I have never seen it done like that, so I was wondering if you had a purpose(: Juju Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
i don't really know when it started, but instead of using commas for pauses i began using breaks in the lines because i could use them more effectively i guess. I use longer breaks for longer pauses... it's suppose to help indicate the pace that the poem should be read at. I guess i was trying to do something to help my readers feel the poem better, but i've never really been sure how well it works, any comments? " How can i feel if i can't breathe...?" |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
deep....very very deep and poignant writing... I enjoyed this. Nice penning here. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
takes a heap of courage to be different, not be a follow and not worry what anyone says...people are negative by nature, and even when your happy they unconsciously look for sometime your doing that would fear them to do...so they critize, I believe to build their defated ego...their failures...they don't understand, the essense of who you are...so don't feel to badly or take it personal...your special and significantly unique!!!!! |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
Powerful feelings are expressed in these words that open the eyes of the reader to your pain...Very well done... |
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