We Live Upon A Cloud Of Love

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garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

0 posted 2005-04-27 08:27 AM

Graphic By Ethel GG
~*~
We live upon a cloud of love
And feel as if we float above
Flying free as a snow white dove
We live upon a cloud of love

This feeling here within our heart
We hope and pray will never part
Being unique from our very start
This feeling here within our heart

The love we have beyond compare
Is filled with tender loving care
With all our hearts ourselves we share
The love we have beyond compare

We live upon a cloud of love
And feel as if we float above
Flying free as a snow white dove
We live upon a cloud of love
~*~

http://www.spiritisup.com/weliveuponacloudegg.html

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

1 posted 2005-04-27 08:31 AM

Lovely, can hear you standing there, inviting us with the words...."all aboard!"

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

2 posted 2005-04-27 09:55 AM

Dear Ethel, you have such a tender heart and this lovely poem is in perfect synthony with the air of Spring. It is refreshing!

Love and hugs.
margherita

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

3 posted 2005-04-27 10:12 AM

Beautiful words and equally beautiful graphic Ethel Mae! hugs, Chris

Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.
~Carl Sandburg

HopeS
Member Elite

since 2000-12-22

Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia

4 posted 2005-04-27 11:54 AM

Loving hearts expressed so beautifully

Hope

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

5 posted 2005-04-27 12:18 PM

Ethel,

I haven't read you in a long time, but I have to say that based on what I remember, you've come a long way.  I don't mean that in any unkind way---this poem is very naturally written, the repetition of lines and the first stanza is particularly effective and gives it a light, lyrical quality.  This is one of those poems that I would love to hear sung aloud.

You say you invite "critiques," and I would like to see one minor thing given attention in this poem, if you ever choose to revise it for the future.  You start by saying "our heart," which I thought was fantastic, but later (line 11) you say "our hearts."  An alternative might be to change stanza 2 to first person singular, "within my heart," which might bring a neat subjective touch to it.

That's the only problem I have with this otherwise wonderful piece of poetry.  Overall this is a beautiful love lyric, and I'm sure whomever it was written for feels the same way.  Glad I got the opportunity to read it, Ethel.

Brian

"God becomes as we are that we may be as he is." ~William Blake

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2005-04-27 12:24 PM

beautifully done, as usual

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

7 posted 2005-04-27 02:25 PM

Beautiful.

Eric

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

8 posted 2005-04-28 02:06 AM

Must be nice...James

froggy
Senior Member

since 2003-06-23

Posts 1893
Michigan

9 posted 2005-04-29 11:04 PM

Beautiful is all that comes to mind.

:-)

<^^> Today the pond....Tomorrow the world

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

10 posted 2005-04-29 11:50 PM

floating upon the cloud wisp that caught me.................very nicely done

Saunni
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 1777
West Virginia

11 posted 2005-05-01 05:41 PM

The write and the picture is just beautiful!

Sauni:)
To meet everything and everyone through stillness instead of mental noise is the greatest gift you can offer to the universe.

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