Open Poetry #35 |
We Live Upon A Cloud Of Love |
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Graphic By Ethel GG ~*~ We live upon a cloud of love And feel as if we float above Flying free as a snow white dove We live upon a cloud of love This feeling here within our heart We hope and pray will never part Being unique from our very start This feeling here within our heart The love we have beyond compare Is filled with tender loving care With all our hearts ourselves we share The love we have beyond compare We live upon a cloud of love And feel as if we float above Flying free as a snow white dove We live upon a cloud of love ~*~ http://www.spiritisup.com/weliveuponacloudegg.html |
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© Copyright 2005 Ethel GG Kent - All Rights Reserved | |||
LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Lovely, can hear you standing there, inviting us with the words...."all aboard!" |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Ethel, you have such a tender heart and this lovely poem is in perfect synthony with the air of Spring. It is refreshing! Love and hugs. margherita |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Beautiful words and equally beautiful graphic Ethel Mae! hugs, Chris Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance. |
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HopeS Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596Perth Western Australia |
Loving hearts expressed so beautifully Hope |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Ethel, I haven't read you in a long time, but I have to say that based on what I remember, you've come a long way. I don't mean that in any unkind way---this poem is very naturally written, the repetition of lines and the first stanza is particularly effective and gives it a light, lyrical quality. This is one of those poems that I would love to hear sung aloud. You say you invite "critiques," and I would like to see one minor thing given attention in this poem, if you ever choose to revise it for the future. You start by saying "our heart," which I thought was fantastic, but later (line 11) you say "our hearts." An alternative might be to change stanza 2 to first person singular, "within my heart," which might bring a neat subjective touch to it. That's the only problem I have with this otherwise wonderful piece of poetry. Overall this is a beautiful love lyric, and I'm sure whomever it was written for feels the same way. Glad I got the opportunity to read it, Ethel. Brian "God becomes as we are that we may be as he is." ~William Blake |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
beautifully done, as usual |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Beautiful. Eric |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Must be nice...James |
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froggy Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893Michigan |
Beautiful is all that comes to mind. :-) <^^> Today the pond....Tomorrow the world |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
floating upon the cloud wisp that caught me.................very nicely done |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
The write and the picture is just beautiful! Sauni:) |
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