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Open Poetry #35
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Self Editing
| Open Poetry #35 |
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Self Editing |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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Self Editing Wild now with the growth from winter’s rain the back of the garden catches me with tendrils of this and that and abundant flying things do buzz and reply to the fragrant jasmine and fruit trees nearby There are two paths now through the jungle one way to the pond the other to the shed I go through open door of air to a chair with open book seated and unread I shed my color and loosen the draft to air and try to see myself with kind eyes but still find disrepair Blooming and tall in need of nip tuck and direction no hedge I keep I am this wild way beguiled the path I take is like a child in pony’s trot within the room of me I open all the windows there unlocked within a song sets free that has found its way by light of shadow into me past the monsters hiding in the copse it strums into the opening glen to find each minute just begun |
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| © Copyright 2005 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Having been "there" it is easy to see your mind wandering, unrestrained... knowing the touch of intertwined fingers, I feel which way you're leaning... Missing you...  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Martie, your writing continues to amaze me. It pulls me in and touches a place deep inside. I so much enjoyed this 'keeper'. May you and yours have a Blessed Easter. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie Pretty picture, lovely poem. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
*chuckling* Here you are rhymin' again. I try to stop that, and you start! Sheesh lady.  some day, we'll have get together for a costume party--we'll go as a push-me-pull-you!  Thank you for the gift of this: "There are two paths now through the jungle one way to the pond the other to the shed" I found some personal wisdom in that'n, So bless you lady! love to you |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
the path I take is like a child in pony’s trot within the room of me I open all the windows there unlocked within a song sets free that has found its way by light of shadow into me past the monsters hiding in the copse it strums into the opening glen to find each minute just begun =========================== one needs no editing when they are "silk lined"  love the YOU I read in this. It's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away. |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Happy Easter Martie... Loved the pictures here that you paint. Hugs, TD |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
I like this it feels good to read it. Thank you for sharing it! *smile* |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Martie It took three readings me to appreciate the majesty of your words. Dave |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
I can just imagine the tendrils and buzzing... Very enjoyable walk! miscellanea |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Martie, the poem is as lovely as you are! ~ and you are both keepers!  Linda  |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Martie, it seems that I say basicly the same thing each time that I reply to you. It's just that I am so in awe of your and your writing that I get speechless. "within the room of me I open all the windows" You do this each time you share a poem with us. Thank you. Hugs and Happy Easter,  |
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Kevo Member
since 2004-06-02
Posts 466Navarro County, Texas, USA |
What a treat! Your writing and timing was fantastic. The imagery...grand. A keeper for sure! Kevin |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I shed my color and loosen the draft to air and try to see myself with kind eyes but still find disrepair love this and am waiting for that warm weather to break here...love the new picture, too! hugs M |
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
Self Editing...... What a nice poem.... a little peace and a quiet moment alone with yourself -- a Martie Moment, shared of course, as only Martie can share. Remember, you don't have to like all you see, in order to find happiness. The center is there, and if things go fallow for a while it only makes the field more fertile whan it's planted. Thank you for this sharing time....I needed something like this, this very morning. I think I'll make a little visit to that unkempt corner of my own back yard -- I could use it. ~~J |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
how lovely a write |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
What a beautiful song of spring, oh Martie, you always leave me amazed. Such vivid visions.  and a  mxx and i knew in the crystalline knowledge of you |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Martie .... Very nicely done. Bob P.S. Love the hat. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
smiles and hugs lady for a wonderful journey...it is as we see things....and much much more... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I shed my color and loosen the draft to air and try to see myself with kind eyes but still find disrepair I envy you this... the ability to see yourself with kind eyes... to make the needed edits without destroying the whole. *S* Excellent write of introspection... with all the beauty we expect in a Martie-work. *S* |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I have to say that the title of this poem is very clever. There's nothing quite like a clever title to really crown a work of art, eh? I love your use of repetition and rhyme, like the subtle re-use of the word "shed" in the second stanza, and the casual departing from and returning to your rhyme scheme, as though you wanted to mimic that kind of ordered-wilderness you describe in the first stanza. Your ending is especially strong: quote:as in, the song that sets you free is oblivious to the monsters that "hide" (I want to think that you intend them to be in a predatory position, intent on disrupting the song), but makes it through unharmed nonetheless---that the song reaching you is unblemished but powerful. It's another example of those great Martie-paradoxes that really spice up your poetry. Loved reading this, Martie. Hope to read more from you soon. Brian "God becomes as we are that we may be as he is." ~William Blake |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Martie, this is so very precious... as are you. HUGS |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Martie - you took me into a view of your marvelous garden - it is as beautiful in verse as it is when I have been there - great poetry my friend - Paul |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Yes mam, you do make me wish I could go there with you too. Lovely. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
reminds me of when I was young and running wild through the jungle...er...the woods...James |
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