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Open Poetry #35
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After the Ambiance
| Open Poetry #35 |
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After the Ambiance |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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I hung upon your every word I realize now, That was absurd For as I think on all you said Emptiness echoes in my head I was so filled with gratitude You noticed me Your platitudes Were notes of music to my ear I heard what I wanted to hear For you needed an audience Your words of love Were all pretense Lips spoke of happily-after But your actions destroyed laughter Body colored in shades of pain Naked, I bowed Again - again Knowing I didn’t deserve hell Obeying orders to not tell I was a shadow, seeking tomb Until someone lay Within my womb I know that a child needs a dad But no one needs a worthless cad Meaningless words are simply sounds A world away, I’ve found a town Where words I hear ring with respect No more am I a mere object Sweet words lisped through a missing tooth Are all I need for they’re pure truth They say revenge is best served cold You said “don’t tell!” You won’t be told. |
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| © Copyright 2005 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ruth I understand the pain of this all too well....you have written out so clearly that my own ache returns. but the strength you learned in: I’ve found a town Where words I hear ring with respect No more am I a mere object "Sweet words lisped through a missing tooth Are all I need for they’re pure truth They say revenge is best served cold You said “don’t tell!” You won’t be told." makes me want to jump up and down and say yay!! then hug you tight!  |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Thank you for those kind words, Martie. I think far too many live a similar story... with varied conclusions. I wasn't meaning to mislead. I hate posting disclaimers but... Real is liberally mixed with fiction - the most glaring being... I have no child. [This message has been edited by suthern (03-25-2005 10:59 PM).] |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
I hear the ache in this and the truth of many a story told - many a heart wounded - you tell it well - Susan If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Laura, this is so beautiful it aches, and so aching that it's beautiful. All the same I'll have to leave it for others to feel this pain with you. It leaves me with a deep, abiding rage, and with a shame just as deep, for my half of the human race. At this point in my life there are very few things for which I would kill another human being....this is one of them. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"Body colored in shades of pain Naked, I bowed Again - again Knowing I didn’t deserve hell Obeying orders to not tell" ~ A disgrace that is far too often true, And I'm expecially sad that this happened to you... You rain your pain so poetically, my friend. You are strong ~ and you are a survivor. ~ and you have a magnificent spirit. You help those who have ~ or have had ~ similar experiences. You speak out loud and clear that a woman can break the circle of abuse.  Linda |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
No disclaimer required... as you say...so many have stories so similar to this... it's just that you expressed it well, so poetically.. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Susan: Thank you very much! *S* I almost removed it... I'm glad now I didn't. *S* Ratleader: I share your rage, my friend... each time I remember... and every time I see or hear of a situation where someone is treating another person as a mental or physical punching bag... or worse. But the shame is not yours... in this poem, yes... the male is the heel. *S* And in many instances, that is the case. But... monsters wear dresses, too... and sit piously in their pews every Sunday. Thank you very much! EA: *smiling at the image of pain puddles around my feet* Thank you very much, sweet lady... Sometimes breaking those cycles carries a very high price... but the price for not is far higher... with consequences that stain generations. I thank you all for your wonderful responses... your kind acceptance of this write is greatly appreciated. Sorry, Sunshine... *S* You left your response while I was typing... a slow process since I haven't had coffee yet. *G* I can't say this isn't mine, isn't me... but neither is it autobiography... I try to keep one of those poetic licenses close at hand and project, imagine... write. *G* But then I feel I've failed when I mislead... so a disclaimer is born. *S* Thank you very much!! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
understood well too well hugs to you friend |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
suthern You have shot an arrow into eternity.  |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Hugging you hear dear Ruth my friend. Chris |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Powerfully and eloquently written. believe in what your heart feels... |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good write  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I’ve found a town Where words I hear ring with respect No more am I a mere object ======================== in the dark we search for light... I found it in those words above...healing and empowering... and thats what writing does for us. while sometimes the poem may need a disclaimer...the poet certainly does not.  It's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away. |
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
Don't let anybody do that to you, lass -- nor any memory. Not ever. You are worthy, you are good, and no matter what has been done in the past, I think you have a future, and it should be as unmarred by past ugliness as it can possibly be. As a good poem should, this caught me up in the message -- the writing so smooth that the quality of it can pass unnoticed. Well done! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Very sad thoughts. Your words explain your needs and your loyalty should be appreciated by those to whom you speak. One thing for sure it sanctions my opinion of your deepest qualities all of which are very commendable and fine! Eric |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
PS: Thank you, sweet lady... very much! *S* Seymour: What a wonderful image... thank you! *S* Nightshade: Thank you, dear lady. *S* scorpio: Thank you so very much! *S* vandana: Thank you! *S* JM: Thank you for that... from the poet's heart. *S* Jamie: Bless you, my friend. *S* And thank you... your "well done" means much to me! *S* ethome: Your reply touches me deeply... I thank you so much! *S* |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
the format of this, combined with the incredibly told story..just blows me away... first she rhymes better than any other, then she attempts free style and excels beyond comprehension, now...she combines rhyme and freestyle....and adds in emotional power at the same time......sigh.... can I borrow your muse...just for a bit, so she can kick mine in the pants and tell her to get going? |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
"Sweet words lisped through a missing tooth Are all I need for they’re pure truth They say revenge is best served cold You said “don’t tell!” You won’t be told." Now that is where the rubber meets the road. Say it like it is. Excellent write. JL |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
suthern, This leaves me practically speechless. How can a person be so thoughtless and mindless to scar another? My heart goes out to you for the past that you are learning to overcome. miscellanea |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I'm tempted to get up on my soap box, but I won't. Suffice to say, the cutting edge doesn't get any better than this. You expose the wounded and those who inflict them, with conviction! You go, suthern woman!!! |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
i think the attitude of the following lines really epitomizes the poem: "I know that a child needs a dad But no one needs a worthless cad" they are serious, harsh, and honest, yet also funny, and simple. nice. -majnu |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Ruth, this is a place we've all been, and it sorely hurts, until we can realize, we've placed our hearts in the hands of wrong choices...or at least, that is the way I've come to terms with such a time...in other words, there wasn't moral and mental compatibility...and not to excuse this person's actions...he gave you all that he was able to give...it wasn't right, but he wasn't able to give you more...he didn't think and feel as you do....and I firmly believe in God's using us human beings as tools...to learn from, to realize our own needs, and to go forward in warmth, never to make the same mistake again.... The loss and heartache should serve us a tool of self exploration... Hugs and prayers that you come out of this not bitter, but more so, much more informed. You won't be told....Lady, your very admirable and wise...and sincerely hope this comment came across the way it was meant to. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
NIce writing...James |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
somehow, I understand this |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
leather ones... |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Wow! spoken from a position of strength and resolve, and done so in the most poetic, beautifully rhymed piece! BRAVO! |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"I hung upon your every word I realize now, That was absurd For as I think on all you said Emptiness echoes in my head" Can't tell ya how much I appreciate the above thought right at this moment. But geez, that echo's grating...  |
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