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Catrina
Member

since 2004-11-10

Posts 132

0 posted 2004-11-12 08:33 AM

Emotigone

Deserted, my vast desert detracts
from any inward sense of anguish, its
long emptiness making what was once held inside
steal upon the art of

drifting, like a last veil let loose
swept up by winds of passion
that drew across your eyes
like gray mists
hemming you in
so you could only see
the facets of sunshine in my eyes,

even through the veils...

but here in the desert, any tears
that would emote
from these eyes, this I,
over what was,
are gone

but like forget-me-nots,
your scent lingers.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

1 posted 2004-11-12 08:41 AM

but like forget-me-nots,
your scent lingers.

the imagery you use in this is outstanding and these last lines are very effective! Very well done. I enjoy your work very much.

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

2 posted 2004-11-12 08:47 AM

ms Catrina, enjoyed this stand by the window
view of you..no drapes and the lights on
and those flowers..those..whatchmacallemz..(grin) kewl write ms

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2004-11-12 09:04 AM

"drifting, like a last veil let loose
swept up by winds of passion
that drew across your eyes
like gray mists
hemming you in
so you could only see
the facets of sunshine in my eyes,

even through the veils..."

Very much enjoyed the read Catrina.
Love the part above..great imagery.
Hugs~Nancy

~ Time has cast a spell on you,
So you won't ever forget me ~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2004-11-12 09:29 AM

a good write, love the last lines

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

5 posted 2004-11-12 09:25 PM

Catrina

"hemming you in
so you could only see
the facets of sunshine in my eyes,

even through the veils..."

Yes indeed...very lovely!

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

6 posted 2004-11-12 09:43 PM

Yes, if all else fades....the scent certainly
does linger...Excellent presentation.

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

7 posted 2004-11-12 10:54 PM

Scent upon fingertips - remembrance

Enjoyed this -

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

8 posted 2004-11-13 02:47 PM

Wow, a fantastic write, I'll be looking out for more from you.

Maree

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

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