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Open Poetry #34
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Look for meaning in my cries ( A weaving with Sir Ron, Cpat )
| Open Poetry #34 |
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Look for meaning in my cries ( A weaving with Sir Ron, Cpat ) |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095
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The dark streak across the horizon from the coming hordes, who would pillage all the flowers for themselves and trade women for drink later..when they want to be drunk enough they do not have to face themselves in the mirror... or the rottenness of day, the grey flow of thunderous passion of wind and split lightening. Shocked mouths, filled with wine and dead fish, take up the boulevards stained of fermented grapes, to smell out woman's dress as they wait for deep midnight and bite the inner thighs of day in whorish disregard for tender flesh or sanitary practices, food dangles from their lips to stain the skin of sky as it dribbles boorishly onto what once was sunrise. Ask then what of the way you look with such apprehensive eyes and ponder yourself the invasion of such emotions as you find coarse unfitting as they are to someone like you, genteel, or so you would believe. In my eyes you will see if you look deeply enough, the path I fear, the walk-step and crush of another day which moves toward me; quickly. I feel the panic arise beneath my nails, and try to bury it into the flesh of me to offer it another life in clench and I tell you the responsibility is all mine, borne from the hem of my skirt I strip and peel off layers until I am naked, and I see it there from where it began along the curves of me. My veins swell like the sea of unbreaking waters as I reach and go beyond the limits of freedom to weep just there. Look for meaning in my cries, how love-lines bend into verse and make sense only to me, stroke-by-stoke dreaming a distance, the dark lines of midnight-blue that flood me. Let me mend this line of grey that rips across the heaven with thread from the words you yourself do subscribe are worthy Look for meaning in my cries... In my eyes you may find truths to deny the days pleasure flesh smooth under you to soothe away such colored fears as these and you may find I know already that beneath it all, we are still the same human frail entities denied some touch to complete us we reach inside and find our screams muffled by our own hands choking the breath from pretty necks we bend always... always trying to see. Thank you Ron for this great honour of writing with you and feeling with you. Maree  |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
In my eyes you will see if you look deeply enough, the path I fear, the walk-step and crush of another day which moves toward me; quickly. I feel the panic arise beneath my nails, and try to bury it into the flesh of me to offer it another life in clench OMG you two....picking any fav verse out of this is impossible but these lines above speak to me in ways I cant convey... but WOW...this entire piece moved me.. thank you both for a wonderful insightful read! The greatest beauty on earth, is |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Maree and Ron There is so much descriptive power in your words...an amazing duet!  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
The imagery here is so surreal, but actually, maybe more kin to cubism. I got the sense of a port city, sailors on leave sort of energy, and loneliness with some bitter mixed in... startling for me, as it is not what I'd expected, but very effective in the emotions provoked. Like the bruise of thin splinter, this aches. wow. rainy day dark, but not without a certain wistful of what could be, if only... |
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myheart Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 160lost in your eyes |
In my eyes you will see if you look deeply enough, the path I fear, the walk-step and crush of another day which moves toward me; quickly. I feel the panic arise beneath my nails, and try to bury it into the flesh of me to offer it another life in clench Amazing duet! Bravo !! ~myheart~ |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
"and I tell you the responsibility is all mine, borne from the hem of my skirt I strip and peel off layers until I am naked, and I see it there from where it began along the curves of me. My veins swell like the sea of unbreaking waters as I reach and go beyond the limits of freedom to weep just there. Look for meaning in my cries, how love-lines bend into verse and make sense only to me, stroke-by-stoke dreaming a distance, the dark lines of midnight-blue that flood me. Let me mend this line of grey that rips across the heaven with thread from the words you yourself do subscribe are worthy Look for meaning in my cries..." ``````````````````````````````` *chills* this touches the raw human worth, the worth we should be finding in ourselves....and the circumstances surrounding our interpretations of who and what we are.... and what others think we are wonderful duet you two! really enjoyed the flavour of this....and the power behind it all |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Oh Jesus you guys: In my eyes you may find truths to deny the days pleasure flesh smooth under you to soothe away such colored fears as these and you may find I know already that beneath it all, we are still the same human frail entities denied some touch to complete us we reach inside and find our screams muffled by our own hands choking the breath from pretty necks we bend always... always trying to see. My jaw is literally dropping here . . . this reads like several pages of a journal. It makes me want to stuff a pillow into my face and just SCREAAAAAMMMMM. Just . . . astounding. Beyond . . . all of it. |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
An outstanding collaboration between two awesome poets! Bravo! ~tier |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Look for meaning in my cries, how love-lines bend into verse and make sense only to me, stroke-by-stoke dreaming a distance, the dark lines of midnight-blue that flood me. Doesn't get much better than this, you two... doesn't matter who wrote what, all of it came together seamlessly... willingly... and with great talent... |
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babygirlwlove Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180New York City |
runs deep....outstanding collab... **babygirL** **Intoxicant to the SouL** |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Fantastic blending of words and thoughts here. Wonderful duet you two! ~ Time has cast a spell on you, |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
A wonder, this. Reads like something that was meant to be written. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Maree is too smart for me..LOL... and far too good a writer for me to keep up with.. I'm afraid I don't do her talent or her art justice.... so... I personally thank you kindly for the nice words... and Maree.. for being kind enough to suffer through my feeble efforts to write with her... Maree... you are more than gracious, and much more than patient... thank you |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Thank you all, you're all so very very kind. Your comments mean so much. And Ron? "What You Talkin Bout Willis"! Stop that! Everyone? It's the other way around. Ron? Ron's the talented, charming, amazing, smart and patient Poet. Oh and Ron? I'm a glutton for punishment, so make me suffer...again! LOL and thank you for putting up with moiThank you all again Mxx into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread. |
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