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Open Poetry #34
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Aenimal
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since 2002-11-18
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the ass-end of space

0 posted 2004-11-06 03:49 PM


sixth.morning.november
this season kills,
threading me through
spokes of retrospect
_________________________
(w/nods to Ahkmatova & Alicia)

© Copyright 2004 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
Dark Angel
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since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

1 posted 2004-11-06 04:02 PM


Bravo Bello....maree to you.
It makes me so happy to see your words upon these blue pages.

into my library.

Mxx

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

babygirlwlove
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since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
2 posted 2004-11-06 04:02 PM


nice, love...

**babygirl**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

Kethry
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since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
3 posted 2004-11-06 04:24 PM


love those spokes of retrospect.

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Huan Yi
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since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
4 posted 2004-11-06 04:35 PM


David Ignatow once wrote
that he had come to a point
where he could view a mountain
as a mountain
and not a comment on his life.



Midnitesun
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Gaia
5 posted 2004-11-06 05:12 PM


love that wink to Ahkmatova, and our Alicia
For those who do not know:

Introduction (Requiem)
That was a time, when only the dead
Smiled, glad to have peace. And Leningrad
Swung from its prisons Like an unused limb.
And when gone mad from suffering,
The condemned regiments were started off,
And the whistles of the  locomotives
Sang short songs of parting.
Over us were stars of death,
And innocent Russia
Struggled under the bloodied boot,
And the tires of the Black Maria.

by Anna Ahkmatova
March 1940
Translated by Lenore Mayhew and William McNaughton

Susan
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since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
6 posted 2004-11-06 05:55 PM


Interesting - and glad for the note of Kacy-

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

muted
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Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
7 posted 2004-11-07 08:12 AM


smiling at you..and very much smiling at Midnitesun too...

now, i have to dig dig deeper

you are a layered dish

Alicia
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since 2002-03-22
Posts 279

8 posted 2004-11-07 11:42 AM


precisely. find myself sort of walking around with this on repeat in my head this morning.
and i've this enormous head ache from the adventures that took place between last night and now,
so it's almost haunting to be hearing this over and again.

-you know, how when you're up you're up,...and when you're down, well, yeah, there is always that crashing in to the corner
where you're thinkthinkthinking about it all until you're choking with reality/seasons/the spinning earth/the blood and bones
of all living things/dust/your lungs and veins/the weeping trees and all the starving soil. gosh. i love it! ha. -

and the title, that could be it's own. just a post with simply: catherine wheel. i would have felt even just that. it's here.

-surely that's enough out of me, not so sure i've dried out just yet and should stop while i still have some friends?

~a. write more please.

*Alli4000*
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The World of Poetry
9 posted 2004-11-07 12:52 PM


i like!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*   My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

Aenimal
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since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
10 posted 2004-11-07 12:57 PM


Thanks bella, I would have preferred to expand on the theme but when you're struggling you take what comes, post and hope it kick-starts something

Thanks for stopping by babygirl

Kethry, kind of sick of them myself  

John I'm obviously not at that level yet

Ah Thanks Kacy, hugs. Initially this poem was longer but I mercilessly cut it down to this. The original was a clearer nod to Ahkmatova's Twenty-First. Night. Monday which never fails to rip me to shreds. For this and other translations see
http://plagiarist.com/poetry/poets/1/

Thanks Susan

Dawn, layered dish, torture device, whatever floats your boat grins

Alicia, for all the times people have asked what's wrong? and I thought I couldn't possibly convey what it was I was feeling..you just did. thanks


"...there is always that crashing in to the corner where you're thinkthinkthinking about it all until you're choking with reality/seasons/the spinning earth/the blood and bones
of all living things/dust/your lungs and veins/the weeping trees and all the starving soil.."  

Thanks Alli glad you did

Thanks again all

R


Martie
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11 posted 2004-11-07 02:03 PM


Hi Raph...hug!
passing shadows
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displaced
12 posted 2004-11-07 07:21 PM


awesome! you!
Midnitesun
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Gaia
13 posted 2004-11-07 09:14 PM


Wow, thanks for that Raphie, I hadn't read that one before. And I now read a totally different spin on what you wrote.

Enchantress
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Canada eh.
14 posted 2004-11-07 09:22 PM


OH MY!!!  FANTASTIC WRITE!!!
inkedgoddess
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since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
15 posted 2004-11-07 11:17 PM


yes...the season will do that
so much in so little
as always youre words carry value

pandonov
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since 2003-10-03
Posts 478
b/w conscience and insolence
16 posted 2004-11-08 09:53 AM


well, well done raph
Aenimal
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since 2002-11-18
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the ass-end of space
17 posted 2004-11-08 02:31 PM


Hugs Martie

Ah Kacy , Anna is amazing no?

Thank you very much Nancy

Thanks Mish hoped they'd say more though

Thanks for reading Pandonov always appreciate your visit

Corinne
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since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
18 posted 2004-11-08 04:54 PM


You say much in so few words, my friend.
Corinne

Cpat Hair
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19 posted 2004-11-08 04:56 PM


(chuckling).. and you whining at me.... get real raph..and read your stuff with eyes that see the beauty and the art inside....

you owe me mail by the way... lol

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

20 posted 2004-11-08 05:25 PM


I've read this several times and I still don't know what to say, but I find myself nodding agreement as I read.

You touched the heart m'friend.

soul drifter
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since 2004-09-08
Posts 711
Colorado
21 posted 2004-11-08 05:35 PM


Ooh, very lovely. How so much feeling can be expressed in so little words. Love the title, as well..

"Poets are all who love, who feel great truths, and tell them; and the truth of truths is love." --Philip James Bailey

littlewing
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since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
22 posted 2004-11-08 07:32 PM


Raph,

no more needed to be said, you summed up what everyone has been feeling in those lines, as you always do.

I know that stung over here.

(Wishville and Happy Days)

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
23 posted 2004-11-08 09:37 PM


Corinne, thanks for taking the time to read

Ron, you're to blind..kind..i meant kind grins

Thanks K hugs

Thanks soul drifter i'm a man of few words, especially if you don't count the dirty ones

Thanks Sue i still would still prefer to write more than 4 line poems one day..sniff..one day

GG
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since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
24 posted 2004-11-08 10:28 PM


I hate love. And cold, and hot, and memories... and life.

But I always enjoy your words.

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
25 posted 2004-11-08 10:31 PM


Yeah, that thing that Ron said...Up there
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
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the ass-end of space
26 posted 2004-11-08 11:25 PM


GG I hate all the above, but ya know I like you

Thanks ed, but we both know Ron is crazy grins i kid i kid..

Kaoru
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where the wild flowers grow
27 posted 2004-11-09 11:53 PM


I feel as though you've killed me a million times.
Dautz Write
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since 2004-11-16
Posts 96

28 posted 2004-12-09 09:35 PM


LOve the title of this.  Had some experience making a catherine wheel...   Excellent metaphor

Dautz...

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
29 posted 2004-12-09 11:58 PM


megsie?..rise pheonix

Dautz, built one? have a bad day at the office, annoying neighbours?

passing shadows
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displaced
30 posted 2004-12-11 07:24 AM


awesome Raph...just awesome
miscellanea
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OH
31 posted 2004-12-12 11:49 AM


loved your write!  
Dautz Write
Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96

32 posted 2004-12-12 11:53 AM



Not a bad day at the office or annoying neighbors at all!
   My daughter participated in Destination Imagination, (formerly Oddesey of the Mind,) and for their challenge, they decided to make the Catherine Wheel as their  mechanical device in their skit (among other side trips).  I didn't build it, but rather, had experience watching the kids build one out of the polysty posterboard.  They cut millions of holes in it with exacto knives, then put stained glass cellophane behind it and shined a light in such a way that they were able to spin in for a desired affect in their shadow play.  It was awesome!  The team won the regional contest and placed third or fourth at the state level.

  Glad to see your poem and title!  I had forgotten about the catherine wheel!

Mysteria
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33 posted 2004-12-12 02:02 PM


I don't do Mondays or mornings so loved this.  More importantly Alicia's explanation made just about too much sense didn't it?

Nice to see you here Raph, and hope you are feeling well, and enjoying the hustle and bustle of this crazy season.

garysgirl
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34 posted 2004-12-12 03:13 PM


Raph, I always love to read your writes, because I know that I'm going to learn something that I didn't know before. I still say that you can say more in a few words than most can say in a book.....and I still wish that I could do that!!

(Hey, did I ever tell you that your philosophies on life remind me so much of some of the philosophies that my Gary has? I think I have told you??)
Hugs, my friend
Ethel

icebox
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since 2003-05-03
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in the shadows
35 posted 2004-12-12 03:52 PM


you shine as a brilliant focused light.

bravo!

vandana
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36 posted 2004-12-12 04:46 PM


good write
Dark Angel
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since 1999-08-04
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37 posted 2005-06-25 06:11 AM


you have beautiful eyes m'friend

I just had to this one back up

smiling

mxx

Oh, you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath
Your words keep me alive
~Sarah McLachlan~

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