Open Poetry #34 |
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waste of ink |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738![]() |
In my haste of too much ink dots and spatters replaced words bleeding into cross-hatch streams watercolored puddled tears warping paper blasphemy I scryed patterns recognized pulling stories into view and levees shored my truth as I recognized the river run mapped within the lines of palm channeling the gulleys wept by the child I was enthralled by journey of a stick - I guess I missed the boat. Perhaps a taste of too much think does it matter Do I slur? bleeding indigo in reams princess tossing restlessly a celebration of the pea I kept each tear upon a slide examined under diligence of the ever watchful eye as I magnified the scope to find pieces of me kindly kept in a mirror slightly bent in curtsey of the pretty lie-- I should learn to say goodbye just once within that nick of time just before the door of greet kicks me in the ass, goodbye. Fairy-tales are not for me. Slippers made of glass are just another journey perilous... Blood and mud and dung and piss make a fine footprint of this-- following a stick in float lost within a revery The ocean is a memory of everything I cannot have. Happy ever after, I, tell it to the Brothers Grimm laughing at absurdity mother reads her child to sleep happy ever after dreams in haste of waste of ink. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"Perhaps a taste of too much think does it matter" "I kept each tear upon a slide examined under diligence of the ever watchful eye as I magnified the scope to find pieces of me kindly kept in a mirror slightly bent in curtsey of the pretty lie--" "Happy ever after, I, tell it to the Brothers Grimm" Wow ... this piece grabbed a hold of me right at the beginning and swept me right through to the end, Karen. I love the vantage you've written this from. Fantasies woven and dreams promised vs. what is reality to most of us. An excellent write. ![]() Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Perhaps a taste of too much think does it matter ~*~ Your ability to always reach right in and grab the reader is only becoming better...you are honing your craft, you are preparing for flight! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Wondermous m'lady....you always leave me speechless. ![]() ![]() Mxx into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karen "by the child I was enthralled by journey of a stick -" you still are....me too! ![]() |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
As I was reading this, I was thinking this belongs in a book - awesome! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
"I should learn to say goodbye just once within that nick of time just before the door of greet kicks me in the ass, goodbye." yeah...me too |
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Mysteria![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I have only one question? All this came from us talking about Princess And The Pea? Or, did this happen first and then we talked about the Princess? LOL, either way we won! Loverly ma Cajun Caween. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
serenity, Reminds me of the saying, of the jug that is shattered in a thousand pieces, which is the lucky piece? ![]() |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
smiling at Mysteria---yes'm, now THIS one was indeed partially inspired by our conversation--the first stanza was inspired by our Capt. Ron. *hugs* and Kit? I'm always thrilled when you pop in. Thank you lovely lady, and I hope you had a wonderful time in Disney. *hugs* Kari? I've been so muddled of late I don't know what is going on in my head anymore. I'm just bored with myself, I suppose and you know me--snort--I am DANGEROUS when I'm bored. *hugs* Luscious Maree? With you way with your words, you should never be rendered speechless. ![]() Martie? *laughing* I'm certainly glad I didn't scare you away the other day. *wink* Thanks, hun, for reading me. It's always an honor. Dixie? Sometimes I just wanna hug you so hard, lady. Please be well and happy. Seymour, giggling here, I used to think that any piece at all would be an act of fortune. But a piece of you would be priceless treasure. ![]() thanks all for reading as I struggle through the mind med writer's block again. I love you all. *blowing kisses* |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
If this is writers block, can I have some too? A journey into your mind is a fantastic voyage! Nice to read you Ms. Serenity. ![]() |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
"Perhaps a taste of too much think does it matter" it does. yes, it does you caress me... in letters joined together in words, thanks...h |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Only ink you've ever wasted would have to have come from a spilled bottle - - - even then it probably would have been a hell'uva blot! jwesley |
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Midnitesun![]()
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"guess I missed the boat" well, if you did? it must have been a leaky unsound boat ![]() |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
In my haste of too much ink dots and spatters replaced words bleeding into cross-hatch streams watercolored puddled tears warping paper blasphemy I scryed patterns recognized pulling stories into view and levees shored my truth as I recognized the river run mapped within the lines of palm channeling the gulleys wept by the child I was enthralled by journey of a stick - I guess I missed the boat. Perhaps a taste of too much think does it matter Do I slur? bleeding indigo in reams princess tossing restlessly a celebration of the pea I kept each tear upon a slide examined under diligence of the ever watchful eye as I magnified the scope to find pieces of me kindly kept in a mirror slightly bent in curtsey of the pretty lie-- I should learn to say goodbye just once within that nick of time just before the door of greet kicks me in the ass, goodbye. ==================================== I read this outloud this morning and was GIDDDDDDDDDY!!! FIST POUNDING ROCK AND ROLL DADUMS ![]() ![]() YOU ARE CADENCE & ASSONANCE DEFINED.... and THEN lets talk about metaphor and symbolism and personification... bleeding into cross-hatch streams watercolored puddled tears warping paper blasphemy I scryed patterns recognized pulling stories into view and levees shored my truth as I recognized the river run mapped within the lines of palm ~~~~~~~ bleeding indigo in reams princess tossing restlessly a celebration of the pea I kept each tear upon a slide examined under diligence of the ever watchful eye as I magnified the scope to find pieces of me kindly kept in a mirror slightly bent in curtsey of the pretty lie-- I should learn to say goodbye ~~~~ say it with me baby........... GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ![]() yayayayayayayayayayayayayayaya ![]() Poetry is emotion put into measure. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
copperbell? Please forgive me lovie, I didn't intend to slight you. A book? smile...they terrify me, but I appreciate the compliment. Sharon? Laughing here. I'm not sure you'd like to have whatever it is I'm having. (I don't even know how to spell the stuff, but it sure leaves me flat-lining. Did I mention how wonderful it is to have you home? (Though Ali says I'm still a squatter...giggling) Helen? only hugs will do. ![]() j.wesley? I'd love a graveyard picnic. *hugs* thank you Kacy--should you turn over your inkwell, I would snort it with a straw and return it to your pen. You, m'lady, are something special. and Janet? ![]() ![]() And to all of you, I realize I don't often enough thank you all individually, but the truth is I feel awkward taking bows. Please know that I read and cherish every bit of input, and value all constructive critique. Hugs...and love to all. ![]() |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Okay ... you once told me you were studying me for the rhyme thing. Well, truth be known, I am studying yours as well cause this free verse (you'd think I loved the no rules part of it) still makes me feel like I am in a different dimension. I worry about line breaks to the point of twitching eyebrows and that sort of stuff. Anyway, to the point ... your works always flow as fluid as a thought in the middle of a dream and you always lace it up with original and unique phrases, lines, and thoughts. Absolutely a superb poem from you AGAIN. Loved it and well you know ... the BK and AWH things too. ![]() |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
had to come back to this gem.... such an impressive write KA..truly. bleeding indigo in reams man i love that line.... and I am so glad you do what you do. ![]() ![]() |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Jesus, this really stung: Fairy-tales are not for me. Slippers made of glass are just another journey perilous... and everything after it . . . so true Karen, My God How you do this, I shall never know but will gladly enjoy it. |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Preach on sis... I won't even quote my fav parts...this is extreme and? this is you and us my love... say we write a drama together for next time the rain smacks a face? ![]() hugs from bulky prego ~D Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
"Waste of ink" Yeah yeah, sure sure, Mm hmm. Waste away m'witch....I'll send more |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Considering how many days (not hours) I've gone without sleep right now, this was awfully confusing the first time through. But I fell in love with it on my second and third read. Too many awesome lines to be able to quote them all. How do you do this stuff? Err... probably best not to answer that. But still... Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows |
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suthern![]() ![]()
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Your words reminded me of how long I've been wasting ink... it started with sticks and leaves and berry juices. LOL No, lady, you don't slur... your words are clear... and touch the heart... excellent!! |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
serenity this reaches out and grabs the reader by the eyes, your words are incredibly woven, clean cut and clear...with timely beating....rest assure...not at all a waste of ink...smiles and hugs |
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