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Open Poetry #34
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2005-02-12 01:43 PM



My soul cries to yours
With a voice lacking the patience of Job
Though my tongue is tied, as was Moses’
When he in his earnest way
Searched in the fire and chiseled stone
To reflect commandments
Telling us not to covet what we do not own
Nor to kill or steal

Slow these passing syllables seem to grow
From my mouth
While I feel the pull of you inside me
And reach my words to the ways
Which might explain such stirred blessings
As the touch of you inside

Here the date palms grow
To feed any who might pluck from among the fronds
Enough fruit to fill their throats with the sweet
Brought by such caress of sun and placid rain
As let the trees bear fruit

I am barren in my own beg
To provide the food to satisfy this need inside
For you have not lent me the dew to sustain the root of me
Nor spread in light the warmth of your skin
To please my eyes

I have measured my speech
To find the distance between your shadow and mine
And know the subtle ways in which we hide from night
But know my own denial of Moses’ laws
Will not allow me to absolve the way
I covet indeed the way you move in me

If my tongue is freed of this stutter
And I find the rain
I will try again to say the words
To pray

I might touch you
Once again

© Copyright 2005 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
1 posted 2005-02-12 02:10 PM


Wow. Took my heart and crushed it. Good job. I love the metaphore. You are not so Barren nor a dessert to write such a good piece.

Juju

Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic

The dictionary never lies.... I am magical (;

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
2 posted 2005-02-12 03:10 PM


Awesome write. Enjoyed this very much.

~Alli~

*AIM = Alli4000*    Journal!

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
3 posted 2005-02-12 03:30 PM


Outstanding write, Cpat!  and quite eloquent at that!  (Whew!  This blew me away!)  

        miscellanea

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
4 posted 2005-02-12 03:36 PM


(I forgot to tuck this into my library as I had planned!)  ok...NOW i HAVE IT SAFE AND SOUND!  eNJOYED!

miscellanea

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2005-02-12 04:04 PM


and I hate sand. But the ache in this rings resounding...rather like watching the sea erase a anonymous lovenote, wave by wave.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

6 posted 2005-02-12 04:39 PM


If my tongue is freed of this stutter
And I find the rain
I will try again to say the words
To pray

I might touch you
Once again


one would have to say this came straight from your soul cpat.  Very well done sir,
and good to see you back among us, if even only it ends up being breifly.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2005-02-12 05:08 PM


I have missed you m'dear.

I have no words, truly this touches me deep.

Outstanding Sir!

Mxx

and i knew in the crystalline knowledge of you
~Buckingham/Nicks

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2005-02-12 05:11 PM


Ron

Your words do seem to come from a very deep and true place....a place of eloquence.  Bravo!  

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
9 posted 2005-02-12 08:19 PM


Quite by accident, I found this a day ago in a most obscure place where rivers grey in threes...


beautiful...

~tier

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
10 posted 2005-02-13 09:35 AM


how lovely is that~

**babyblu

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2005-02-13 10:04 AM



Sounds again
of Rumi, or such
other inspiring poets,
thus a penned keeper,
and libraried.

Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen?  Keeping in mind, I must stand close...and keep my promises...

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
12 posted 2005-02-13 08:41 PM


I have measured my speech
To find the distance between your shadow and mine
And know the subtle ways in which we hide from night
But know my own denial of Moses’ laws
Will not allow me to absolve the way
I covet indeed the way you move in me

If my tongue is freed of this stutter
And I find the rain
I will try again to say the words
To pray

I might touch you
Once again

~

speechless to find words that would explain how deeply this touches the soul....


~~*~~
the wind sings with the calm
tranquilize in the night
sien beauty on my lips
~~**~~

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
13 posted 2005-02-16 11:46 AM


If my tongue is freed of this stutter
And I find the rain
I will try again to say the words
To pray

I might touch you
Once again

Oh, wow!!! No sand here, my friend... just astounding eloquence. *S* Beautiful write!!

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

14 posted 2005-02-16 02:41 PM


speechless here as well.....your soul is certainly not without eloquence......this is incredible
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