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Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

0 posted 2005-02-09 02:31 AM

5364

it was a ... witness of love
a word you say is over -
done-used and like your
harem, always open
(to interpretation) [i say]
it was ... supposed to be there
for you, as a shelter for storms
but now the desert isn't so dry
and it floods in my living room
here, where you said it won't work

i pulled out each stitch
lost count after 5364
drifted off in thought as i rolled
the past 4 months into balls of
purple and black
thinking i'd throw them away
like you ... did with me
but, after an hour i realized i
was braiding the colors into a rope

did you stick around for the hanging
or has the weather already changed?

©sdt'05

~~~~~~~
"so I wait for you like a lonely house
till you will see me again and live in me.
Till then my windows ache" ~neruda

[This message has been edited by Snow (02-09-2005 09:31 AM).]

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

1 posted 2005-02-09 04:06 AM

This is so sensitive snow, and very long for you, you may have to get another keyboard after the strain of this poem. LOL..but it is a fine poem..thank you..

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain. (William Shakespeare.)

ESP
Member Elite

since 2000-01-25

Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

2 posted 2005-02-09 05:00 AM

Wow, this is powerful. I like it alot, going in the library.

"Time has told me not to ask for more, one day our ocean will find its shore" ~Nick Drake

Saunni
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 1777
West Virginia

3 posted 2005-02-09 05:12 AM

Snow, this is beyond words that I have. It's just touched so much of me and G*d did you find the words I never could. Excellent. Sincerely, Sauni

Sauni:) I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making
me hate him.
Booker T. Washington

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member

since 2003-09-10

Posts 1279

4 posted 2005-02-09 06:10 AM

Hey Snow...love it! You knew I would though. Wow! This is so deep...and the title...blew me away! You have penned heartache with absolute perfection. Excuse me...have to go read this again.

Soulfisher
Member

since 2005-01-07

Posts 226
where ever the fly fishing is good

5 posted 2005-02-09 07:04 AM

but is 5364 the combination to a heart hidden and hurt secretly reaching out for someone to do more than acknowledge its pain.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

6 posted 2005-02-09 07:06 AM

mm snowy...you take a part a tattoo
dot by dot..
and it is a pleasure (shamefully)
to admit I enjoy watching you

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

7 posted 2005-02-09 09:06 AM

Dear sweet snow, here is perfection...you!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2005-02-09 10:56 AM

ah...that ending

*sigh*

RobertB
Senior Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 1104
Champaign, IL

9 posted 2005-02-09 04:17 PM

hmmmm

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member

since 2003-09-10

Posts 1279

10 posted 2005-02-13 11:58 AM

Bump!

Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

11 posted 2005-02-13 10:42 PM

robert... i wonder if your response is because you don't think it's good ... (which i agree, it's not) it's simply emotion, but that doesn't mean i will let it lie as is. or, if you're wondering about the meaning.. either way, you know you can write me.

thank you all for the thoughts on this.

snow

"i close my eyes and gather up the puddle of this life, one teaspoon at a time, into a bucket with holes" ~me an excerpt from "she still sees ugly"

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