navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #34 » Pirouette . . . choka
Open Poetry #34
Post A Reply Post New Topic Pirouette . . . choka Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2005-01-28 03:16 PM


The slow drum of days,
rhythm of the turning moon,
dance of the seasons
slowly speeding to a whirl;
blind, I would see them,
deaf, I would hear the swift years
racing in a blur, breathless.....




[This message has been edited by Ratleader (01-30-2005 12:07 AM).]

© Copyright 2005 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 2005-01-28 04:12 PM


This leaves the reader knowing that last word intimately! *S*

To say this is beautiful is an understatement... Spectacular work!!!

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2005-01-28 04:59 PM


Ed

And the beat goes on and on and on......like the tide.  

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
3 posted 2005-01-28 05:00 PM


Excellent - the words, the title - enjoyed

Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

pandonov
Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478
b/w conscience and insolence
4 posted 2005-01-29 09:43 AM


it's quite sad, I see it, too
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
5 posted 2005-01-29 10:01 AM


there are days I want to make it stand still...for a month or so
*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
6 posted 2005-01-29 10:09 AM


Wow...Great write!!

~Alli~

*AIM = Alli4000*    Journal!

Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
7 posted 2005-01-29 05:12 PM


THIS IS BEAUTIFUL ED.....BUT FYI TANKA HAS ONLY 5 LINES
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
8 posted 2005-01-29 05:26 PM


Ooh, that is true, a mental typo....it's Choka...those can have a hundred lines or more....I go see if title change will take....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2005-01-29 08:16 PM


oh this is good

I couldn't even attempt this form

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #34 » Pirouette . . . choka

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary