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Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

0 posted 2005-01-23 09:31 PM

Cautiously, the quill labored...dampened
tremors fighting the touch....a lasting haze
shrouding the words....as a tear drops softly
upon a page once crisp...now aged, as was
he...the master...

His time nigh, darkened lines grasping shadows
as shallow wheezes echoed ears that no
longer heard....but felt, felt tremendously,
felt the world’s weight upon each syllable...
As he dreamed of her...

She wore a gown of gossamer, of
flowing lines, accenting the smooth sleek
calves of love...love awaiting his arms..
But, the slipper did not fit...nor did the
vintage age properly within the goblet
where a lipstick smear still hung.

Oh but to touch the softness of a shoulder,
to let the rise of her touch his chest as
he shivered, as youth stammered within
his soul.....and age...yes, age now came
on darkened wings...awaiting his last and
labored breath...

But first, the sun must again rise....that
eyes once clear might read the lines of
labored script....and a smile might again
be felt by withered hands....as a carriage
awaited him....as she sat...looking out
the window....whispering his name...

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2005-01-23 09:41 PM

Dang...you keep this up and you're going to have to serve julip with a fan at each reading. Superb write.
Truly a keeper.
TD

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

2 posted 2005-01-23 09:45 PM

"Oh but to touch the softness of a shoulder,"

a most beautiful line.

in the completeness of touch there is awareness.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

3 posted 2005-01-24 04:01 PM

Such a sensitive, beautiful and touching write, dear Barry!

Love, Margherita

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

4 posted 2005-01-24 04:22 PM

Magnus~
I am SO in to this one~

I'll try to be back with something more than the AWE I'm feeling right now~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email [email protected]

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

5 posted 2005-01-24 04:45 PM

So beautifully you have painted the heart of one no longer in his physical prime but still young and romantic in heart - you write the romantic so very well - you should write a historical romance - all the women would swoon -

Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

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