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babygirlwlove
Senior Member

since 2004-10-10

Posts 1180
New York City

0 posted 2005-01-03 07:02 AM

aesop's elegy

lily_white,
the lunar moth wakes
near the night river
through whose voice
streams a thin wire of grief,
a tone almost querulous,
and as tremulous
as the dark muscles
that bristle over wings,
and shake with the weight
of what cannot be set right,
no matter what,

there is no one thought
to which the bramble
of boysenberry, corresponds,
and so, a word falls elegy
to what it signifies,
as the roadside thickens,
rich, in its ungainly stalks,
I bend

and the reeds are suddenly ravines,
and the sheen of gypsy wings bring
longing, we say,
because desire is full
of endless distances,
in eternal exodus,
the white_night_flying_moth
thins the dark
in its black eyespot seams,

the rain like scythes,
rip through the musculature
of heartstrings,
lily_white_the_erosion
of the right word, spoken
out of lullaby
with a lisp, on lips
that sting, as the moth's body
sweats the dull spirit,

and so sings
the heart's sullen adagio,
in streams of moonlight,
the screaming moth
flees her night, ripping
at the seams, flail the wings
as aesop's jaguars are spotted
eating her entrails.
~

...from The FairyTale Journals...
2005 copyright babygirLPress

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

1 posted 2005-01-03 02:17 PM

amazing write, the flavor is entrancing the ending sad and graphic

powerful piece!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

2 posted 2005-01-03 07:13 PM

~Alli~

Happy 2005!

babygirlwlove
Senior Member

since 2004-10-10

Posts 1180
New York City

3 posted 2005-01-04 06:36 AM

thank you both for stopping in on this~

**babygirL**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

4 posted 2005-01-04 10:29 PM

Poor little moth

Very descriptive eleg and enjoyable read Mari. The artwork rocks too by the way.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

5 posted 2005-01-04 11:07 PM

Your work is fascinating always, but this piece in particular is quite captivating.

I'm curious though, regarding the underlined spaces--

"lily_white"

"the white_night_flying_moth"

As I'm always looking to add to my toolchest, I was wondering about that.

(and grin, yeah, if I like what it does, I just might steal the method outta flattery of course)

and while I'm at it, this second stanza?

"there is no one thought
to which the bramble
of boysenberry, corresponds,"

something about the boysenberry strikes a familiarity on the tongue here, I like it much

"and so, a word falls elegy
to what it signifies,"

now this confuses me a bit...as I'm not sure what word "a word" might be, but I guess that is a reader decision (unless I could sweet talk you into clarifying

)

"as the roadside thickens,
rich, in its ungainly stalks,
I bend"

and that sent that stanza home for me, as it is a familiar image to me, a roadside wildflower picker...

And by choosing that particular stanza, I didn't intend to discount the rest as somehow insignificant. I just understood the flip into surrealism all too well, and appreciated the artistry you displayed in the unfolding.

Much enjoyed, babygirl, and I appreciate your patience with me.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

6 posted 2005-01-04 11:12 PM

Artistically intriguing, surreal ~ and highly creative!

I appreciate your talent!
EA

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

7 posted 2005-01-05 05:20 AM

Wow.
And I'm not all too sure what else to say.
Amazing images. Tt blends together with just enough contrast to make give it beauty and clarity...

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

babygirlwlove
Senior Member

since 2004-10-10

Posts 1180
New York City

8 posted 2005-01-05 07:07 AM

hey PIP fam~

thank you all for stopping in on my rant...lol..

your time is much appreciated...

Serenity~(I appreciate your patience with me, love)...I realize this is thick...and of the pieces from this series that I have so far posted...this one seems to make people bristle...(wink to Kraw)...(others in the series will never see the light of day...as it is just vile, vile poison)...lol...let's just say I'm starting the year off RIGHT. lol.

ummmmm...I will attempt to lighten it...a bit. The underlining_style_format is something I used in my very early work....and I employ it solely for pronunciation purposes...those particular words should be read without pauses for breath in between....kind of running into each other..withoutdoingthis (which is aesthetically distasteful to me)...just a quirk, really....as much of my work is...lol...feel free to lift it...I have no claims to it at all...and have seen it used by a multitude of writers...especially in the cyber.

The boysenberry...is actually a very personal reference to an entity in my life...and is entirely open to interpretation for my readers. I hate to build frames around my words...what I write can be read on so many levels....and I prefer my readers to enjoy their own interpretation...see their own reflections...and work toward their own epiphanies...but you knew that, already...**soft smile**....

damn...I hope I clarified somethings for you...so much love, my friend...and again...thank you for you patience with this drivel...lol

**babygirL**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

9 posted 2005-01-05 08:48 AM

Um, I thank you much for taking the time, and as I tend to use conversational devices
such as hyphenating words in phrases to sort of propel the reader to reading not just at a faster pace, but to lend some familiarity (I-tend-to-do-this-with-cliche')

so naturally,

I'm very interested in this other thing, which seems to be the opposite of what I have been doing...so while it's still an odd device to me, I may yet play with it.

I'm intrigued with punctuation so forgive me if I am a nuisance.

and as for the boysenberry? smile...I once sked someone to name their favorite type of jam or jelly, and "boysenberry" being the answer, naturally, this made me smile remembering.

Myself? I don't know a boysenberry.

(Maybe someday.)

smiles and hugs and thanks,

yer a doll for being so kind.

and yes, I forgot to add, very much enjoyed the poem,lady.

babygirlwlove
Senior Member

since 2004-10-10

Posts 1180
New York City

10 posted 2005-01-05 09:08 AM

serenity~

boysenberry jam...hell yes...lol

absolutely, my pleasure, love....

::kisses from NY::
**babygirL**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

11 posted 2005-01-05 10:23 AM

the rain like scythes,
rip through the musculature
of heartstrings,
lily_white_the_erosion
of the right word, spoken
out of lullaby
with a lisp, on lips
that sting, as the moth's body
sweats the dull spirit,

and so sings
the heart's sullen adagio,
in streams of moonlight,
these words fit the day in some ways.... ice here simply rips through the muscles of trees and of man it would seem...

nicely done ma'am.... Aesop might be left scratching his head... but would in the end approve I think...

babygirlwlove
Senior Member

since 2004-10-10

Posts 1180
New York City

12 posted 2005-01-05 11:14 AM

thanks Chief...

::stay warm:: there is this trick with rubbing sticks together (something with cedar)...I learned once...maybe I will show one day...how it keeps at least the hands warm...lol

::ice storm kisses::

**blu

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

13 posted 2005-01-05 01:19 PM

Mari, sending you something in the mail (if it gets through that is.) The customs guys may eat it!

Boy this is vile stuff lady, and dark as a dungeon, but I will still be buying it to add to my collection of your books. You rock on NY!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

14 posted 2005-01-05 01:49 PM

and so sings
the heart's sullen adagio,
in streams of moonlight,
the screaming moth
flees her night, ripping
at the seams,

~*~

ummm, and I know boysenberry...

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

15 posted 2005-01-05 02:43 PM

Different depths - personal yet open to interpretation - the best kind of work, that speaks on many levels -

I felt a dark seep to this, and an intriguing draw into the images penned - enjoyed the journey-

Susan

Every action generates a force that returns to us in like kind . . . let us choose compassion and love

babygirlwlove
Senior Member

since 2004-10-10

Posts 1180
New York City

16 posted 2005-01-05 03:16 PM

hey guys~

thanks so much for stopping in...it truly means alot to me...this has to be one of the most fantastic poetry forums in the virtual......

so much love,
**Mari**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

17 posted 2005-01-10 09:17 PM

I read this a while back...Just been lax

This (in my own poor opinion) is your best yet.

Yep, its all in the interpretation (well, some of it)

babygirlwlove
Senior Member

since 2004-10-10

Posts 1180
New York City

18 posted 2005-01-10 09:48 PM

coming from you, dear wranx...I am honored...this series is especially hot-off-the-press-poison....

but if you are digging it, then i am pleased.

Give me a holla' sometime...have some thoughts I would like to share with you...

thanks for digging this up, BTW...

much love,
**babygirL**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

19 posted 2005-01-11 12:33 PM

awesome images, both the photo and in your writing

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

20 posted 2005-01-11 08:27 AM

There are no words left here to describe the awe in reading you...wisdom....clarity....compassion, and not one to be taken lightly comes to mind, this is seer magic, and no, I meant to type seer....tremendous

babygirlwlove
Senior Member

since 2004-10-10

Posts 1180
New York City

21 posted 2005-01-11 01:06 PM

Raph~

man, is it good to see you...thanks for hitting this love...

LeeJ~you are so kind...thank you....

**babygirL**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

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