Open Poetry #34 |
I, The Wall |
kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
I, the wall. Ouch, I say, feeling the crush of bone which is not mine. Ahh, I say, laying a bandage upon a weeping crack. I look upon my painted coat, Seeing cracks that widen spreading wide, exposing structural beams of steel. I look upon my bricks and mortar, seeing flesh scraps curling in age. My joints stand strong against the onslaught of daily conflict. I "whoosh" as another head bangs fruitlessly against me. I do not fall, stop punishing me. It is not my fault! |
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© Copyright 2004 Ken Julkowski - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Wow... This is both excellent imagery and some wonderful insight... I know several people who keep banging their heads against brick walls... and it is, as you say, most certainly NOT the wall's fault... Very, very good, Sir! |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
yes...excelllent....oh yes, have felt the banging of head on wall many times.. and of course, its not the walls fault.... |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Well done Ken. Enjoyed. Chris Don't forget my presents!! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent write Ken..and in free verse as well. I know how this feels.. Love ya m'friend. ~ Let peace begin with me... ~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ken...great personification....loved the way you did this! Don't ever tell me again that all you can do is rhyme! |
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~DreamChild~ Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544in your dreams |
hahaha! |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Very nice performance! Love, Margherita |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
well done! |
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
Excellent stuff, my friend ~~ you hit this one out of the park! |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
I agree. Excellent imagery and analogy. Nice flow. Much enjoyed! dautz... |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Dang! very nicely done, Ken, BRAVO! "This old house" is still plenty strong. Nice metaphor, and nice literal imagery too. 'steel beams' yep |
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