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| Open Poetry #34 |
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disappearing |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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a shadow without substance glides across a clouded mirror somewhere within that scumbled outline is all that remains when tears drain reason for existence indentation on a pillow indicates a head was there but how does hollow have such weight? feathers must have settled as the air that whispers past me would if I could stop breathing but though I watch the fading with detached fascination this shroud does not fit comfortably. eternity’s apparel leaves me still naked of confidence I ever was at all. |
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| © Copyright 2004 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
but how does hollow have such weight? ~*~ dang it suthern... send me your muse!!! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Oh wow, Laura....just wow.... Only you could write this, but I wish I had. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"indentation on a pillow indicates a head was there but how does hollow have such weight? feathers must have settled as the air that whispers past me would if I could stop breathing" WOW!!....just wow. Excellent write .. Hugs~Nancy ~ Let peace begin with me... ~ |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
suthern Excellent write you couldn't write it better. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
ma'am.... I felt this... |
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EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
deep and honest. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
indentation on a pillow indicates a head was there but how does hollow have such weight? feathers must have settled as the air that whispers past me would if I could stop breathing but though I watch the fading with detached fascination this shroud does not fit comfortably. eternity’s apparel leaves me still naked of confidence I ever was at all. ============================ Oh trust me you were.. cuz "not at all" couldnt write LIKE THIS. Take a bow for this one Ruthie-girl...youve been coming into your own with free verse for awhile now..but with this, you've made it your own and your muse can stand and deliver a knock out punch rhyme or not. but how does hollow have such weight? Poignant, piercing, writing dear poetess. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
I too have had this question "indentation on a pillow indicates a head was there but how does hollow have such weight?" Damned fine! wx (lol) |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
but how does hollow have such weight? feathers must have settled as the air that whispers past me would if I could stop breathing Beautifully inspired write! Love, Margherita |
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pandonov Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478b/w conscience and insolence |
great poem indeed |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
disappearing... Great write! Especially liked the part about the indentation on the pillow... dautz |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
suthern very touching to the heart.....lovely writing!  |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
oh lady, can I disappear with you? this is incredible.......*long deep sigh* oh if only to have words to say how this reads on the page as it writes on the insides  |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Oh wow....!!!! Eric |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Wonderful Ruth - keepin' this one!! hugs, Chris "At one glance |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Oh, you "was" my Dear! ~ and still are! ~ and will continue to be SPECIAL!!! Your words were like feathers ~ but they carried such weight. Loving hugs in appreciation of your beautiful self ~ and your poetic talent, Linda |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Sunshine: You're welcome to her gloomy self! *G* Thank you! *S* Ratleader: You make me feel like a poet, my friend... I thank you so much! *S* Enchantress: Thank you very much! Seymour: You're so kind, my friend... I thank you! *S* Cpat: Is an apology in order? *S* Thank you, my friend. *S* ES: Thank you very much! JM: But without my rhyme to hide behind, the knock out punch seems to head my way! *G* Thank you very much! wranx (wx): Thank you so very much... for both the compliment and the smile. *S* Margherita: Thank you so much! *S* pandonov: Thank you very much! *S* Dautz: I'm glad you liked... thank you! *S* Martie: Thank you so much! *S* jellybeans: You don't think I'd leave you behind, do you? *S* Thank you so very much, my friend. *S* Ericc: Thank you! *S* Nightshade: You honor me, kind lady... thank you! *S* EA: What would I ever do without you? *S* Thank you so very much! |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Wow! Great write!  ~Alli~ Happy Holidays! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Sheesh how did I miss this now, must be getting slow too as well as blind. You know this new area your muse is taking you is sure suiting my taste and hopefully yours, so there will be more of this to sample? Lovely writing. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
so beautiful |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Alli: Thank you very much! *S* Mysteria: I never know, my friend. *S* I'm just the stenographer! LOL Thank you! *S* PS: Thank you! *S* |
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