Dark Eyes - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

0 posted 2004-11-30 07:53 PM

It was that last mile...
The one where silence draped the shoulders
of gravel and grit. Where the wind chilled
brown broken weeds that bid adieu to
the stranger’s tail lamps.

Countless seconds ticked the churning
pit of a stomach shivering against the
sudden lurch of heart...when she spoke
those last words, when brown eyes
turned hauntingly black....and he saw
her soul no more.

She came into his life unexpectedly,
as would a pebble flying through an
open window, crashing against
clear curved glass and lying still upon
a stained carpet...

A part of her remained....haunted his senses as
he looked beyond the headlights and
wondered if again she might stand there,
awaiting some poor sap....around the
next bend of nowhere...where nothing
lived and hell simmered the skillet
of life....as dark eyes stared into the
night skies and a howl touched the
moon... still as death itself..

Calmly waiting for the next lights, just ahead,
around that bend...

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

1 posted 2004-11-30 07:57 PM

Oh Barry - this is haunting - it rather gives me the chills - it also stirs compassion - you do write so very well - you've pure talent at creating a mood -

Hugs -

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2004-11-30 09:31 PM

Another story...

tell, poet, tell...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2004-11-30 09:39 PM

Haunting...wonderful write Barry....
Very much enjoyed!!!
Hugs~

~ Let peace begin with me... ~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

4 posted 2004-11-30 09:44 PM

A part of her remained....haunted his senses as
he looked beyond the headlights and
wondered if again she might stand there,
awaiting some poor sap....around the
next bend of nowhere...where nothing
lived and hell simmered the skillet
of life....as dark eyes stared into the
night skies and a howl touched the
moon... still as death itself..

This stanza is just WOW!

Haunting and magnificent.

Maree

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

5 posted 2004-12-01 07:25 PM

Qualified

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2004-12-01 07:37 PM

enjoying you

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-01-04

Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise

7 posted 2004-12-02 01:15 AM

Loved this tale Barry ....

hugs, Marti

A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows.
–St. Francis of Assisi

milkweed
Junior Member

since 2004-09-07

Posts 42
fields of gold

8 posted 2004-12-02 04:04 AM

This is haunting, but a compelling read!

babygirlwlove
Senior Member

since 2004-10-10

Posts 1180
New York City

9 posted 2004-12-02 09:33 AM

woah...intense, haunting...gripping read!

**babygirL**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

10 posted 2004-12-02 06:26 PM

WOW!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

kayjay
Member Elite

since 2002-06-24

Posts 2015
Oregon

11 posted 2004-12-07 09:19 PM

I see that I've been missing some fine reading. You're a great storyteller. You must have practiced with "sea stories."
Thanks for the comment on Dec 7th. I've not been back since I got about about the time you came in. My next assignment would have been teaching in Pearl or Charleston and I was ready for a different way of life. Still, however, my closest friends are boat sailors of my era. Ken

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

12 posted 2004-12-07 09:29 PM

"when she spoke
those last words, when brown eyes
turned hauntingly black....and he saw
her soul no more"

Hands down...my favorite lines..

Well done Barry!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

msflame
Member

since 2002-05-21

Posts 188

13 posted 2004-12-08 09:08 AM

I like this and the title is very appealing.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

14 posted 2004-12-08 09:50 AM

She came into his life unexpectedly,
as would a pebble flying through an
open window, crashing against
clear curved glass and lying still upon
a stained carpet...

Great write, dear Barry!

Intense moments of life, left behind.

Love, Margherita

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.