Surreal Scene (for Kaoru's surreal challenge of oh so long ago)

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Open Poetry #34

Surreal Scene (for Kaoru's surreal challenge of oh so long ago)

Don_Juan
Member

since 2004-04-08

Posts 252
Far from where I am going

0 posted 2004-11-27 08:21 PM

blinding
oranges and yellows
hang as
a film
over oxygen
conscious voices
swirl
looking in
on the
world of
unconsciousness
wind carries
rosepedals
and sparks
from nearby water
trees move
about freely
while songs
of nothing
but freedom
and peace
ring from
faceless mouths
red sky holds in
loving embrace
a sapphire sun
bullets of tears
fire from
lidless eyes
lingering within
violet clouds
cheshire smiles
abound from
an emerald
jealous moon
watching two
embracing
heavenly lovers.
darkness,
hints of
glimmering stars
fill my space
drowning out
befuddled scenery
comets rain
with pink
auras
leaving breatheable
dust across
my eyelids
while dawn breaks
bringing
to a close
a surreal scene

(i ran across this challenge when skimming through the challenge forum. I decided to give it a shot and this is what i came up with. Let me know what you think)

nice use of muffin

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

1 posted 2004-11-27 08:46 PM

I think I like it, like a painting by a surrealist - nice blend-

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

Don_Juan
Member

since 2004-04-08

Posts 252
Far from where I am going

2 posted 2004-11-28 12:12 PM

i'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for dropping by.

nice use of muffin

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2004-11-28 05:28 AM

good imagery here

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

4 posted 2004-11-28 02:39 PM

Wow John...you did a great job here. Love this...

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

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