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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
|
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| Open Poetry #34 |
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just 83 words! |
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~DreamChild~ Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544in your dreams 
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you know, it's a bother to write this. it's hard now even to think. it's not too much fun, quite hard to be done: expressing myself in ink. perhaps if i had some pencils, i could draw a picture for you. a picture's worth a thousand words. but that's something i just can't do. so, since i can color no portrait (the likes that your eyes can see), i'll write a few words, but a thousand? absurd! would you settle for eighty-three? " Now what do you THINK about that? " [This message has been edited by ~DreamChild~ (11-18-2004 11:56 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 derrick gillum - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
smiling and grinning here such a reassuring write.... |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Enjoyed!!  "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
made me count you words...  M |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
" Now what do you THINK about that? " I think this is pretty cool. A limerick cadence. And since you asked I might politely suggest a slight change in the final stanza's last two lines... but a thousand? Absurd! would you settle for just eigthy-three? A quick, fun ride this. |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
Sometimes I feel like that.....  that is a great poem. |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
A quick fun ride...yes!!! Well done. TD |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
a picture worth a thousand words is what I heard today at work again, thanks for the memory |
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~DreamChild~ Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544in your dreams |
RS, Your suggestion was applied, and i like it better as so. thanks for the tip! |
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