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Open Poetry #33
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jellybeans
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since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2004-07-23 10:17 AM


yes! work day is almost over I grab my bag and am out the
door ouch my feet hurt and for that matter so do my legs
my legs oh shoot no clean jeans for tomorrow and last wash
is at seven did I take the pork chops out of the freezer I
didn’t check if that fax got sent oh no here comes that red
bobble headed creep I just passed yep he’s after me and a
quick time check tells me last wash is now out of the
question well I do have those black pants I hardly ever
wear but they will need ironing no no I am signing on the
dotted line I don’t want to hear what the judge has to say he
doesn’t care if my bills will have to wait again or if the
pork chops
are still Popsicles and supper will be late no it wasn’t that
great but we managed to pull from three of the food groups
tomorrow I will make something better no tomorrow is
laundry supper will have to be fast food but I got my black
pants ironed the dishes are washed except for the burned
pan I am leaving that soaking and can you tell me do
burned mashed potatoes ever go good with anything and of
course we’re out of trash bags now that the last one busted
open all over the floor if I hurry and clean this mess and set
the alarm for fifteen minutes later I might get to squeeze in
a whole five hours of sleep and I promise tomorrow my Father
tomorrow I will make time to pray  


© Copyright 2004 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-07-23 10:30 AM


Even through the mess of day to day
He hears your heart.

jellybeans
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since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

2 posted 2004-07-23 10:32 AM


I know lady, my heart is his, I just gotta make sure my head rests in the right lap *s* time is a thief.....
hey...that might be the title for my next poem....*s*

nakdthoughts
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since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
3 posted 2004-07-23 10:37 AM


time pressured...aren't we all...

I read this in one breath
M

jellybeans
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since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

4 posted 2004-07-23 10:40 AM


thank you, that's how it wrote too...not even sure this is poetry, but its what my muse came up with *s*
Martie
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California
5 posted 2004-07-23 02:42 PM


jellybeans

Wheew...you wore me out, just reading this..I hope time slows down for you and gives you some R and R!  

Sunshine
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Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2004-07-23 02:50 PM


Free verse rant....

and I'm looking forward to the next title's body...

suthern
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
7 posted 2004-07-29 03:03 PM


don’t want to hear what the judge has to say he doesn’t care if my bills will have to wait again or if the pork chops are still Popsicles and supper will be late no it wasn’t that great but we managed to pull from three of the food groups

It is hard to pause anywhere... hard to even breathe as I read it. *S* But... lines this good will inevitably pull me back, even if I pant! *S*

I like this painful snapshot of a harried existence very much, my friend! *S*

Contabo
Member
since 2001-11-21
Posts 159

8 posted 2004-07-30 05:50 PM


what a wonderful poetic way you have
jellybeans
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since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

9 posted 2004-07-30 06:03 PM


well I thought this poem missed its mark, which means I did not do the title justice, but as of yet my muse is still silent, so it stands...
thank you all for commenting even in the face of its inadequacy

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2004-07-30 10:24 PM


SweetJellyGal~
Nah ... you're wrong ... it hit the mark,
you just haven't slowed down long enough to see it~

Breathlessly ... I say it is definitely adequate~
AND MORE~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

Contabo
Member
since 2001-11-21
Posts 159

11 posted 2004-07-30 11:13 PM


I am glad you feel that way.....

Never be completely satisfied with what you write. The element of wondering if it could be better gives you that edge.

I know I am not explaining it right....but I hope you understand.

Contabo

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
12 posted 2004-07-30 11:18 PM


Good point made here.  And I enjoyed the rush of the presentation, it conveyed the sense of a hectic overrun day.

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
13 posted 2004-07-31 04:34 AM


I understand this
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

14 posted 2004-07-31 08:27 AM


I thought it awesome JB!

You took all the "noise" of life and served it up poetry my friend...

and if I'm thinking on the right track?

the title is perfect, because yes, it's the listening to the yakety yak of ourselves that saps our spiritual strength.

It's like we try sleight of hand with ourselves--distract distract distract...

*hearthugs*

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