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Open Poetry #33
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Wonder
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Wonder |
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yv Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574 |
On listless clouds I walked beside him I walked within the Shadow of his wonder On dark days When the fog ran deep I walked behind him I walked within the Cascades of his smile Be that is it may I still feel the absence of He whom I call Love How loverly it seems me That his candor fits Within the sunshine between The wafts of fluff that are Sky's pillows Be still as it remains I feel the wane of the Divine presece in his eyes For eyes tend to wander Wander eyes tend to do And yet his wonder Exceeds the wanderment I find in his virgin eyes He to me is all I see That stands between He and me Is it so hard to see That between the words That escape my eyes That I deceive even me? For within my eyes There is a sorrow Within my heart There is a space Within my soul I have been found wanting Wanting what wont will whither away Yet With this absence comes Sweet serenity I have found the Ability to let you fly free I realized how we Could not be Before you thought you knew me When I was with you in My thoughts When I am near you in Your stride Your coquettish smile Is enough to send me Into this intoxicating paradise Be it lust Be it love Be it ever wonderful to Be it... Whatever it is It feels right It is a feeling While vagabonds may theive me of My intense happiness ~ They being those who Will only hear my words Without listening ~ They will not theive me of My soul My heart For what they intertwine is this Feeling For I do feel this Sincerely So wrong it seems to me To judge a school girl's heart Because she is a school girl Pardon me while I giggle For it is not my love affair that tickles me But the ineptitude of Teachers and their pets To the task of Finding me I have found me in his Wonder Pardon me while I blush Become a deeper flavor of ~ Dark chocolate that your Feigning sunshine has Pigmented me ~ For it is not his grace that touches me But his softness His heart touches my mind Such that my lips may sign Words of I love you Do not deny me my Heart's desire of being Content I will not lay back While wise women of Waning want Haunt me with their Ridicule at ther belief that My feelings are ridiculous Agree or disagree But do not sell me short Contrary to standards Passed down by complacency I know what I want And who I am I have known since the light of life Dared to spread its ethereal Glisten upon my brow From now until the darkness deepens I will be entrapted within The webs of his Wonder Because he said Hello And with that Goodbye <3 yv As always this poet wants to know what she needs to improve and what she should let be. So, do not be shy to pass along as much constructive criticism as is deemed needed. yv |
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| © Copyright 2004 Camiele - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big angel hugs) Yay! It's sooooooo wonderful to get to read your poetry again, sweet friend, we have missed you! (smiles) As always I am not a good critiquer, as I believe all voices from the heart in their honest and purest form are good poetry, and your poem here is soooooo filled with deep emotions! (sigh) The imagery is breathtaking, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you in fath soon you will find the one who says hello but not goodbye, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
I found this write intriguing.  SusanHappiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Just beautiful...I think it carried me along like graceful waves on a calm sea. That's the feeling I had while reading, and enjoyed the journey, too!! ~S~ Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
"Agree or disagree But do not sell me short Contrary to standards Passed down by complacency I know what I want And who I am I have known since the light of life Dared to spread its ethereal Glisten upon my brow From now until the darkness deepens I will be entrapted within The webs of his Wonder Because he said Hello And with that Goodbye" Long poems do not always hold my short attention span, but this one did. Very much appreciated so many eloquent lines. |
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yv Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574 |
Thank all of you for your replies. Mistletoe Angel, it's always a blessing to hear from you and hear your inspiring words, thank you. Susan, I am so glad that my poem intrigued you so. Sunnyone, thank you for putting the feeling of the comforting sea on such a hard poem emotionally. I hold such a hard gratitude for that. And Iliana, I am sorry that my poem was so long, but it was one that allowed me to release my emotions because the situation I'm in is so deeply, well, emotional. And I am glad that it held your attention (I have a tendancy sometimes to be long winded). Again thank you all. yv |
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